Growing up I always listened to my mom and dad. They guided my choices and taught me right from wrong. They allowed me to make mistakes, but helped me learn from them. They were the ones I always turned to when I needed help. I remember when I first got married and had a decision to make I quickly called my mom on the phone so that she could help me analyze it. I remember the words she said that day; she said, “I am no longer your person… I will always be here for you, but you need to talk to your husband and cleave unto him. I love you and by you doing this your marriage will be successful.” I heeded her advice and from that day forward I have consulted my husband in all things. I attribute our successful marriage to us working together.
As we work together as a team we must do so as parents and partners. Below are some ideas to make our marriage continue to flourish as we work together.
As I walked up to the door I was nervous. I was meeting my future mother in law for the very first time. I knew she was concerned because we had only dated a short time. I had hoped she would like me that night to start our relationship off on a good note. I knocked on the door and the door opened. On the other side of the door was a perfectly dressed lady that looked like she had just stepped out of a Nordstrom catalog. The home was perfectly decorated as well. I smiled brightly and said, “Hi!” I recall her reaction as she observed my clothes I had carefully selected to wear that night and she with no smile at all responded, “Come in.”
I recall that night her not being very positive, but I kept giving her the benefit of the doubt that perhaps she was just as nervous as I was. Throughout the night she had made several comments that didn’t sit well with me about her disapproval of our upcoming marriage and if I really knew who I was marrying. I was young and naïve and shrugged them off determined to have a good relationship with her. In one study 80 percent of couple’s marriages end in divorce when their marriage does not have the support of the parents of who they are marrying.
For our Savior, Jesus Christ, love and charity went hand in hand. He not only served those he was close to, but served all those who came in contact with him. As we look at Jesus Christ’s ministry on the Earth we realize that there was not a single person that he was not charitable to. On one occasion the Pharisees brought a woman to him who had committed adultery. The law in Jesus’ time was for her to be stoned and they asked him what he thought they should do to her. There he knelt in the dirt and said, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” (John 8:7) The accusers began to leave and Jesus asked the woman if any accusers remain. She said that there were not. Jesus then warned her not to sin again. This in my opinion is such a powerful example of charity and the pure love of Christ. He saved this woman from humiliation and death.
The story of the love that Christ has for us does not stop with this example of Charity. In Christ’s final days upon the Earth we learn of his greatest act of love and Charity when he took upon all of our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane and suffered for each and every mistake we will ever make. He lived a perfect life, but yet suffered more pain than we will ever suffer on this earth. Because of his love for us, we can live with him and our Father in Heaven again.
Do we demonstrate this same Christ like love in our lives especially in our marriages?
When our spouses are moody and had a bad day do we forgive them? If our spouse comes to us with a problem that could potentially break our marriage are we like Jesus and tell them to sin no more and help them through it or are we running for the hills? Are we like Jesus and say, “I forgive you of mistakes, shortcomings, and humanness.”? Or “do we continue to not forgive because we do not understand why they possibly could have done this!” (Goddard)
A friend confided in me once and told me her story. She graciously is allowing me to share it with you.
“I felt like a failure once again. It was the third time this week that I witnessed my husband get into the faces of our children and demand respect and dictate to them what to do. This was not a new problem in our marriage. This had been going on for several years. It was something we tried to work on, but never could come up with a positive solution and the problem kept surfacing. We both had different views mine being based on the Proclamation to the World, which says,
‘HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.’ And his was more based on the fact that children should always show respect no matter what. I often wonder if this fight would eventually destroy our marriage or if we could somehow someway break free and overcome this problem.”
As my husband came home from work late again I was frustrated and mad. The baby had been crying for 30 minutes, she was hungry, I was trying to make dinner, the kids needed help with their homework and I really just needed to go to the bathroom. As he walked in the door I looked at his handed him the crying baby and said, “Why are you always home late? You are never here when I need you!” From that point on for the rest of the night I did not speak to him. I chose to ignore him and give him the cold shoulder because how could he have done that to me!
Throughout our lives we have been warned of being prideful. I had never thought of myself as being prideful… until now. …