It’s easy when life gets busy to lose focus in marriage. Sometimes our spouse wonders, “Am I even Appreciated?” Here are 10 simple ways to appreciate your spouse more!
Remember the honeymoon stage of your marriage when you would look at your spouse with googly eyes and everything was fantastic? You were living in your perfect little happily ever after! I remember those days…vaguely… Seriously, what happened?! How come all of a sudden my husband’s dirty socks are getting on my nerves? And let’s NOT even mention the toilet seat being left up all the time!
I am going to let you in on a little secret as to why your marriage out grows the honeymoon stage. Ready for it? The truth is as your relationship grows and matures it is actually maturing into a love that will withstand time and last forever. When this is happening, it is only natural to have some hiccups that cause some disagreements and things. But, good news we have 10 ways to help YOU better appreciate your spouse so you can bring back some of that honeymoon stage magic again!
Here are 10 super simple ways to appreciate your spouse more!
Say Thank You Out Loud
Saying thank you seems so easy, right? But let me tell you, it can be HARD sometimes once we realize our spouse isn’t perfect. Saying thank you for the little things will help your spouse feel more appreciated AND it will help you feel more love and appreciation for them. So the next time your spouse does something for you, no matter how small, just say THANK YOU. Yes, this even means when thy might not do it exactly how you want it done. And remember, say thank you OFTEN! Make it a habit to say thank you for something every single day.
Write a Love Note
When you were dating, did you ever write love notes? Okay, maybe that dates me a bit…. Have you ever sent sappy love texts or emails as well? I’m sure most of us have at some point in our relationship! I recall when I first got married I just wanted to write and tell my hubby how much I loved him all the time! But now that we are married, life can get kind of crazy and we forget to do this. Surprise your spouse today with a handwritten love note from the heart. Who wouldn’t love a handwritten love note?! And who doesn’t love surprises?!
Give Your Spouse a Break
Do you ever feel like sometimes you are Cinderella? Your to do list is FOREVER long (or at least it seems that way) and you feel like you will never get through it? Giving your spouse a break from whatever is causing them the most stress shows just how much you care about them. Think about it: wouldn’t it be wonderful if your spouse came home and told you to get into bed while they made dinner? Then after dinner they gave the kids a bath and tucked them in? Yes, please! So think of something you can do to appreciate your spouse more by giving them a much needed break from a daily job they do!
Make Their Favorite Meal
Another way you can appreciate your spouse more is by cooking! They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I think this is true for women as well, because let’s be honest, I love food. It’s my secret addiction. And let me tell you, if my hubby made my favorite meal he probably would be getting some dessert (if you know what I mean) . Making your spouse’s favorite meal is a special way to show them that you are thinking about them throughout the day. So pull out that recipe book and start making their favorite dish today!
Talk to Your Kids About Your Spouse
Every child loves to know that their parents love each other. They probably don’t want to see all the kissing and hand holding (because cooties are gross) but they want to know that you love each other. So make it a point to tell your kids how GREAT your spouse is and teach them to show appreciation for them as well.
Go on a Romantic Date
Sometimes date night can feel like Groundhog’s Day. Going to the same places, doing the same things. My husband and I get into the habit at times of doing the same thing over and over again for our date nights.
RELATED POST: How to have date night after kids
Don’t get me wrong date night is important, not matter what you do, but try mixing it up a bit! Planning a candlelit dinner or stargazing picnic is SUPER romantic and it shows your spouse that you care enough about the relationship to add a little pizazz to it. For your date to be romantic, that doesn’t mean it needs to be expensive. Check out some great ideas here!
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Just Because Gift
I LOVE surprises. Tell me I am not the only one? No? Good! Getting an out of the blue gift is a GREAT way to show your spouse how much you appreciate them! So go pick up their favorite candy bar or a little tchotchke and tell your spouse how much you love them!
Look for the Positives
If you are really looking for ways on how to appreciate your spouse more looking for the positives is a great way! After being with someone for so long sometimes it can start to get harder to see the positives. All you see is the toilet seat up, the dirty clothes on the floor NEXT to the laundry basket, and his shoes out in the hall for you to trip over the millionth time.
Several years back I learned this little trick about being more positive. Want to know what it is? For every negative thought you have you think of 5 positive ones! So, that means that when you want to go off on your husband for forgetting to take out the trash (again!) you get to now think of 5 positive things about them instead. (The key to making this work is to not mention the negative thing you were thinking. Share one of the positive things you thought of instead. Believe me, it really works!)
Show Their Importance in Your Success
Marriage is HARD. We each make sacrifices for each other every single day. Some days we make bigger sacrifices than our spouse does. . But the point is that we ALL make sacrifices.
Knowing that your spouse appreciates all the sacrifices you are making in your marriage is important. So tell them! Let your spouse know that you appreciate the sacrifices they are making too. No matter what the success is tell them thank you for helping you get there.
For Christmas I gave my husband an appreciation journal. Every day for three months I wrote down something that my spouse did for either me or my kids that I really appreciated.
On Christmas I gave him the journal and boy was he surprised! He loves that he has something physical that he can look at to know how much I appreciate him. Whether it’s for a week or a month, try writing down something that your spouse does every day that you appreciate. You’ll find that not only will your spouse appreciate it, but you will start to notice all the wonderful things your spouse does for you and your love for them will grow!
Once the honeymoon stage is over it can be hard to appreciate your spouse like you once did. The good news is that you can get some of that honeymoon glow back by learning how to appreciate your spouse more! So try one (or all!) of these things and begin appreciating your spouse a little bit more!
Let us know how your spouse reacts to all the appreciation you give them!
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Rebecca is one of our interns this semester and will be graduating from BYU-I in April with her major in Family and Marriage Studies. She is married to the love of her life and has a beautiful2-year-old little girl. Rebecca has a of love music and spending time with family playing board games, camping, or just being silly.