If you are anything like me, you love being married, but sometimes it’s hard. Everyone struggles from time to time in their marriage. An outside perspective can be just what you need to refocus your marriage and find that “marital bliss” we have all felt before. We are sharing some of the best marriage books for 2021 that we love!
The Best Marriage Books
Here are Our Favorites!
Best Overall Marriage Book: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Best Book to Help Resolve Conflict: Everybody Fights
Best Bargain Book: (electronic) Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus
(physical copy) The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Best Christian Book: The Meaning of Marriage
Best Book to Help Me Understand My Spouse: Wired for Love
Best Book for Dealing with In-Laws: Toxic In-Laws
Everyone feels love in different ways. Gary Chapman breaks down the 5 ways individuals can feel love. These are; words of affirmation, quality time, service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. If you’ve been married for any length of time you know that you and your spouse can’t be more different at times. These differences extend to how a person gives and receives love as well. The 5 Love Languages help you understand yourself and your spouse so that you can meet one another’s needs better.
Learning about the 5 love languages has really helped me to be a better wife (and really a better member in all of my relationships). I realized that I showed my husband love in ways that I would like to receive love. I never thought that he could feel love differently than me. After reading this book I am able to respond to my husband’s needs better. I’m also able to communicate my needs more clearly so that we are both getting what we need in our relationship.
2) The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
Dr. John Gottman, the leading relationship expert in the country, created The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work to guide couples as they battle the difficulties of marriage. Rather than focusing on what goes wrong in marriage, Gottman has studied what goes right in good marriages. Respecting one another and valuing each other in marriage can work wonders. Gottman helps create those “best friend” kind of relationships we all want in marriage.
I personally love this book and have read it several times. Each time I read it I come away with something new that my husband and I can do to improve our relationship. I can definitely say that this book is one of the reasons my husband and I are so happy in our marriage.
“We never fight…” When have you ever heard that in a marriage?! If you are normal and human there are going to be disagreements in marriage. Two people living under the same roof should disagree. If these disagreements are so common, shouldn’t we learn how to fight well? How to be productive while we disagree? This is exactly what Penn and Kim Holderness teach in their book Everybody Fights.
The easy thing to do when things start going wrong in marriage is to jump ship. Timothy Keller and his wife Kathy take a look at what marriage means to God by examining passages in the Bible. Ultimately they remind us all that marriage is a beautiful lifelong journey. Any journey worth taking is going to have its share of ups and downs, but it is ultimately worth it if we can stay the course.
I think we can safely say that each of us has a set of boundaries we have established in our lives. These boundaries keep us safe from outside threats. Wouldn’t it make sense then that we placed boundaries in our marriage as well? Boundaries create a safe environment for a husband and wife to grow together and ultimately thrive.
Do you remember feeling endlessly in love and connected to your spouse on your wedding day? What a wonderful feeling! You may have known little about your spouse then, but you were in love. Dr. Hendricks and Dr. Hunt help couples rekindle those feelings of love and connectedness bringing a deeper, more satisfying layer to an ever growing relationship.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize there are some pretty obvious differences between husbands and wives. I’m not talking just physically either. Men and women think, feel, and act differently from one another which can make communication between the two sexes a little complicated.
Thankfully, Dr. John Gray explains those differences in a light hearted, easy to read, humor-filled way. He teaches couples how to communicate better and how to understand one another more leading to happier, healthier relationships.
Dr. Eggerich and his wife Sarah have spent many years figuring out how couples feel valued in their relationship with their spouse. They have found that women feel valued when they feel loved. Men feel valued when they feel respected. It’s when either partner isn’t getting that fundamental need that trouble occurs in a marriage. Dr. Eggerich explains how to create a cycle of love and respect in a marriage so that couples can remain happy.
9) Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
I’m sure we have all experienced several “what-in-the-world-are-you-thinking” moments with our spouse. Stan Tatkin helps husbands and wives understand the inner workings of the brain so that they answer that very question. By understanding how one another think, couples can begin to create a healthy, safe environment for one another.
I’m sure you’ve already started coming up with your own list, but Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages book, offers his own advice after listening to couples for more than 30 years.
This book is not only a good read, but it includes workbook style pages so that you can actively participate in changing your marriage.
Every marriage out there has a set of topics that seem to always cause conflict in a marriage.
Let’s see if any of these sound familiar. Money, sex, family, religion, conflict in general, and the list goes on right? Yeah? That sounds familiar?
Well, you’re not alone. John Gottman and his wife Julie have observed countless couples over the years. They’ve found that most of the long term problems in relationships revolve around 8 issues, including the ones mentioned above.
The Gottman’s have created a detailed outline for couples to comfortably talk through these areas of conflict so that compromise can be reached and unity can be fostered.
We all have needs, right? Everyone does! Willard Harley does an excellent job describing the needs of both men and women so that spouses can not only understand themselves better, but more importantly they can understand their spouse better. When we are able to meet the needs of our partner on a more consistent basis there will be less conflict in our relationship and we will ultimately be more satisfied in our lives.
Rather than focusing purely on how marriage can make us happy, Gary Thomas has written this book with the intent to describe how a marriage can bring you closer to God.
Thomas discusses how the purpose of marriage is to help us become more Christlike as we learn to work with and serve our spouse. He emphasizes that this journey with our spouse may not always be filled with joy, but there are great rewards for learning along the way.
Not all of us are Licenced Marriage Therapists. I’m sure that most of the people who read this post are not (myself included). Sometimes it’s helpful for a professional to break down terms and theories that are unfamiliar.
That is exactly what Dr. Sue Johnson has done in her book, Hold Me Tight. She breaks down the importance of a healthy attachment in a relationship. She also talks in depth about Emotionally Focused Therapy and breaks it down into layman’s terms so that the general public can benefit.
We all want our marriages to work and that happens best when we have the support of our friends and family behind us. Unfortunately some in-laws make entering a new family harder than it needs to be. If that sounds familiar, this book is for you.
Dr. Susan Forward describes several different types of toxic in-laws and how to manage them in your life so that your marriage can stay strong.
Comment below if any of these books have been helpful to you and your marriage!!