Are you struggling to connect as a blended family? We have all been there, that is why we are sharing 10 ways to help create a strong blended family to help you bond together!
10 Ways to Blend a Family
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6 years ago I remember sitting in my living room wondering what the heck I just did. I had just gotten remarried and it seemed like no matter how hard I tried our family just would not connect. It became a major marriage stressor for my husband and I because we knew we had to get our family to start connecting or we would struggle for many years to come.
Creating a strong blended family all begins with connecting as a family.
Connecting as a family is more difficult I am not going to lie! Each person comes from different backgrounds, different parenting styles, what used to be the norm is no longer your normal and it is hard to not feel like your whole world is changing faster than you can handle.
When all this is happening, what can you do to help the transition to a blended family to help bond as a family?
Here are the 10 Things You Can Do to Help Create a Strong Bond as a Blended Family.
The first thing we can do to create a strong blended family is to understand feelings and validate them whenever it is possible.
If your new stepdaughter is now having to share a bathroom for the very first time and doesn’t think it is fair, validate that that must be a bit frustrating and see if you can come up with solutions together to help solve the problem.
In order to create a strong blended family, there has to be respect in the home. It is entirely possible that the kids might not be best friends right away but they must show respect to both parents and their siblings.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect in and out of the home.
Rules and Routines
To create a strong blended family you need to establish rules and a routine. The rules should be discussed between the spouses’ prior to bringing them up with the kids. Both parents need to be on board with the rules. At first, they should be simple to help create a bond with your family.
Routines should also be established. This helps create normalcy within the home making it easier to adapt and find their new groove. As this happens new bonds will be formed with one another.
Find Common Interests
It may be hard to imagine at first that there is something that the entire family wants to do together, but I promise you that there is! It might be difficult to find these things at first, but they are there.
When the kids were much smaller, the common interest was going to the park. So, every Sunday we would go to the park. After weeks of playing at the park, the kids began to laugh and play with one another which was the beginning of their friendship and our family bond with one another.
Don’t get discouraged if you feel like you have nothing in common, just keep searching!
Need Extra Help Blending your family?
Check out “How to Successfully Blend a Family”
Sometimes you just don’t know what to ask your stepchildren to get to know them. That is why these Blended Family Conversation Cards are a must! Some of the questions are silly and some are more serious but all will better help you connect your blended family!
One on one time with each of the kids is critical in a blended family. So, often families feel like the only time to bond is together, but kids need their own time too.
So, take the time to spend time one on one with your own kids as well as your stepkids. By doing this it will help you to grow closer and begin to bond as a family.
Yes, life can be difficult, but you should always show love to each of the kids. I understand that you may love your stepkids differently than your own and that it might not be an instant love, but they need to feel that love you have for them.
As you do this they will begin to soften their heart and feel that love and want to connect as a blended family. Just remember, blending a family takes time.
When you are blending a family set proper boundaries. This includes perhaps not disciplining right away and letting your spouse do it until you all acclimate to one another and it also includes having boundaries with your ex-spouse. Staying within these boundaries can help you connect better as a blended family and get to know one another better.
Related Article: 7 Ways to Not Overstep your Boundaries with Stepkids
When it comes to blending a family you need to take all your expectations and throw them out the window, at least at first.
Set expectations when it comes to respecting one another and that, but don’t have expectations that you are going to love one another from the very beginning and never have a fight.
Give your family time to grow and before you know it you’ll start to bond as a blended family. Just remember to be patient with one another as you work on building your own relationship with each other while working on blending your family.
Sometimes it just takes time. I know that is so hard to hear, but that is what it takes sometimes. Time to adjust. Time to get to know one another. Time to adapt. Time to love.
Trust me I know it’s hard, but you can do it and you can have a strong blended family bond.
Related Article: How to Show Love for Yourself to Work Toward a Better You
There you have it! 10 ways to help you create a strong family bond.
If you are looking for more tips and tricks check out my book, “How to Successfully Blend a Family” where I share all about the struggles of blending a family and how we overcame them! Trust me! So much of this I wish I would have known sooner!