No Yelling Discipline Techniques- 5 Easy Steps to Stop Yelling Now!

Is it really possible to have a home with no yelling because parenting without yelling is hard at times!  Try these no yelling parenting techniques to help create a no yelling home today. 

No Yelling Discipline Techniques for Parents

It all started when Ty decided that we should have hot chocolate before bed. The kids, of course, went crazy as I was trying to get Tony ready for bed.

According to my boys, I’m a yeller, I’d like to think that I am speaking in a voice that they can actually hear over their shenanigans, but last night was a turning point for me.  I decided that I might just be a yeller, and it wasn’t something I ever wanted to be!

It all started when Ty decided that we should have hot chocolate before bed. The kids, of course, went crazy as I was trying to get Tony ready for bed. They ran into the kitchen to make hot chocolate… Followed by the whipped cream getting squirted into each other’s mouths, followed by Talie spilling her hot chocolate all over the table and me having to clean it up one-handed. Then Colby brings out an Australian accent followed by talking about “Baby Jesus” from Talladega Nights…  I admit I lost it; I yelled, and I sent them to bed!

I Yell Too…

I confess I have always blamed them for me yelling or raising my voice (I mean if they would have listened, to begin with 🙂 …), but really, it’s not them it’s me.

I felt horrible for yelling, I felt sad for the night ending like that…  Were they doing anything wrong? Not really, they are just typical boys having fun, right? And because of me, the peace was gone in our home. My yelling was the one who made it go away… Me, the one who learned about all the different parenting techniques in school, but yet can’t implement any of them when they are most needed.

I confess I have always blamed them for me yelling or raising my voice (I mean if they would have listened, to begin with 🙂 …), but really, it’s not them, it’s me… I am the one who needs to change and get better. I am the one who needs to strive to have more peace in the home. Right then and there I decided it was time for a change! 

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Here are some simple steps that helped me along the journey toward a no yelling, peaceful home. 

5 Step No Yelling Discipline Technique that Works!

Step 1 – Know the Cause

The key to no yelling parenting is to know what triggers your yelling.  Most of the time it’s frustration because things aren’t working the way you want them to.  

Sometimes it is because you are tired or you have too many things going on.  Once you are aware of why you yell, you can recognize what is the cause and attribute it to that rather than to my kids.  

Step 2 – Take a Minute to Calm Down

Take a minute to calm down. Take a step back and breathe.  

Breathing slows down your heart rate, lowers your stress, and gives you a few precious seconds to collect your thoughts.  

All of the craziness around you will still be there, but you can then choose to act rather than react.  

Stating that you are getting frustrated and need a minute to yourself lets others know that you are needing some space and still in control. 

Step 3 – Adjust Expectations

Sometimes we have such high expectations that when they are not met, we get extremely frustrated.  

We forget that our children get tired and overstimulated too.  When that happens, they are much less likely to obey or listen.  Sometimes at this point, our expectations need to be adjusted accordingly.

The same goes for us. If we are exhausted or just worn out, adjust your expectations.  There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are exhausted and make adjustments so that your home can be a peaceful, no yelling haven.

Step 4 – Teach the Lesson Later

When emotions are high and frustration is mounting, it is not time to teach the lesson.  Not only will your child not listen or understand, but we won’t be able to listen, articulate, or empathize either. 

 It is time to take a break.  

Tell them that we both need some time and that you will be better able to discuss it later in the evening or maybe even the next day.  

When you are calm, you can explain why you were upset and how the situation looked to you, while listening to why your child felt the need to act the way that they did.

Step 5- Say You’re Sorry

Sometimes no yelling parenting involves saying your sorry. In the heat of the moment, no matter how hard you try not to, you might do something or say something you regret. Don’t be afraid to say you are sorry and let your child know that you were wrong. 

Not only does this help strengthen your relationship, but it also helps your child know that you make mistakes also. 

Check out some of our favorite parenting books!

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12 Comments

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    November 11, 2019 at 1:15 pm Reply
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  • Robyn

    I’m in.

    July 10, 2018 at 9:29 pm Reply
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    January 23, 2018 at 2:01 pm Reply
  • Lori

    I think I mentioned this on IG – My kids used to ask why dad yelled so much and I told them he is just passionate about what he is saying. I totally get wanting to be heard above all the distractions, but there is such a greater peace in our home when the yelling subsides. With my kids grown the only one left to yell at is the dog and he is deaf! I think this is a great challenge and I look forward to hearing how it goes!

    January 18, 2018 at 10:10 am Reply
  • Wrae

    It’s hard to stop yelling. I try to go week by week and that seems to work for me. I don’t like doing it.

    January 17, 2018 at 1:56 pm Reply
  • jenniferwise4heritagemakers

    I have been a yeller for the same reason–I feel like nobody listens unless I’m yelling. 😉 My kids are older now, so I don’t feel like I’m as much of a yeller these days, but I know it’s still in there. 😉 I would love to hear what your approach is going to be and what methods you’re going to use. I need some practical advice on what to replace yelling with, I guess. 🙂 Maybe that can be an upcoming blog post… #wanderingwednesday

    January 17, 2018 at 8:58 am Reply
  • Misadventures with Megan

    Don’t know if I could go a whole year but such an amazing goal!

    January 12, 2018 at 2:54 pm Reply
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