Is it really possible to have a home with no yelling because parenting without yelling is hard at times! Try these no yelling parenting techniques to help create a no yelling home today.
No Yelling Discipline Techniques for Parents
It all started when Ty decided that we should have hot chocolate before bed. The kids, of course, went crazy as I was trying to get Tony ready for bed.
According to my boys, I’m a yeller, I’d like to think that I am speaking in a voice that they can actually hear over their shenanigans, but last night was a turning point for me. I decided that I might just be a yeller, and it wasn’t something I ever wanted to be!
It all started when Ty decided that we should have hot chocolate before bed. The kids, of course, went crazy as I was trying to get Tony ready for bed. They ran into the kitchen to make hot chocolate… Followed by the whipped cream getting squirted into each other’s mouths, followed by Talie spilling her hot chocolate all over the table and me having to clean it up one-handed. Then Colby brings out an Australian accent followed by talking about “Baby Jesus” from Talladega Nights… I admit I lost it; I yelled, and I sent them to bed!
I Yell Too…
I confess I have always blamed them for me yelling or raising my voice (I mean if they would have listened, to begin with 🙂 …), but really, it’s not them it’s me.
I felt horrible for yelling, I felt sad for the night ending like that… Were they doing anything wrong? Not really, they are just typical boys having fun, right? And because of me, the peace was gone in our home. My yelling was the one who made it go away… Me, the one who learned about all the different parenting techniques in school, but yet can’t implement any of them when they are most needed.
I confess I have always blamed them for me yelling or raising my voice (I mean if they would have listened, to begin with 🙂 …), but really, it’s not them, it’s me… I am the one who needs to change and get better. I am the one who needs to strive to have more peace in the home. Right then and there I decided it was time for a change!
Here are some simple steps that helped me along the journey toward a no yelling, peaceful home.
5 Step No Yelling Discipline Technique that Works!
Step 1 – Know the Cause
The key to no yelling parenting is to know what triggers your yelling. Most of the time it’s frustration because things aren’t working the way you want them to.
Sometimes it is because you are tired or you have too many things going on. Once you are aware of why you yell, you can recognize what is the cause and attribute it to that rather than to my kids.
Step 2 – Take a Minute to Calm Down
Take a minute to calm down. Take a step back and breathe.
Breathing slows down your heart rate, lowers your stress, and gives you a few precious seconds to collect your thoughts.
All of the craziness around you will still be there, but you can then choose to act rather than react.
Stating that you are getting frustrated and need a minute to yourself lets others know that you are needing some space and still in control.
Step 3 – Adjust Expectations
Sometimes we have such high expectations that when they are not met, we get extremely frustrated.
We forget that our children get tired and overstimulated too. When that happens, they are much less likely to obey or listen. Sometimes at this point, our expectations need to be adjusted accordingly.
The same goes for us. If we are exhausted or just worn out, adjust your expectations. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are exhausted and make adjustments so that your home can be a peaceful, no yelling haven.
Step 4 – Teach the Lesson Later
When emotions are high and frustration is mounting, it is not time to teach the lesson. Not only will your child not listen or understand, but we won’t be able to listen, articulate, or empathize either.
It is time to take a break.
Tell them that we both need some time and that you will be better able to discuss it later in the evening or maybe even the next day.
When you are calm, you can explain why you were upset and how the situation looked to you, while listening to why your child felt the need to act the way that they did.
Step 5- Say You’re Sorry
Sometimes no yelling parenting involves saying your sorry. In the heat of the moment, no matter how hard you try not to, you might do something or say something you regret. Don’t be afraid to say you are sorry and let your child know that you were wrong.
Not only does this help strengthen your relationship, but it also helps your child know that you make mistakes also.
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Michele is a Family Life Educator with her degree in marriage and family studies. She is a mom to 5 kids and loves helping others strengthen their families! When she is not blogging she is spending time with her family and running around drinking Diet Coke trying to get everything done!