It can be really difficult to be patient with our children when we don’t have the right perspective. We have tips to help you become a more patient mom!
Tips to Help You Be a More Patient Mom with Your Kids
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Have you ever found yourself just at the end of your fuse with every single little thing your kids do? As a mom of four kids, I can say that I have found myself being impatient with my kids for things that really shouldn’t matter way too many times.
It was getting to a point where it was becoming a daily thing, and I didn’t like myself for it at all. I felt like a horrible mom and had awful mom guilt when those sweet little angels were sound asleep in their beds for the evening.
I decided that I really needed to change and become a more patient mom.
Put yourself in the shoes of your children. Are you expecting too much? I found that I was trying to treat my children like miniature adults and expecting them to be logical with things that were clearly out of their league. Putting yourself in their position helps you remember what things were like when you were their age or in their situation.
Figure out what is age-appropriate! Sometimes as kids get older, we forget what they are capable of, or we expect our young children to be at the same level as our older kids. Take some time to research or reflect on what each child is capable of.
Be intentional in what you expect of each of your children. Talk with your kids about what is going on and explain and teach so they understand. So many times when I have felt misunderstood by my children, it’s because I haven’t taken the time to explain things in detail to them. Don’t just expect them to know!
Don’t sweat the small stuff. I found myself getting upset over things that seriously did NOT matter! Laughing it off has truly been the way to diffuse any situation, especially when I feel like I’m about to lose my cool.
Spilled milk all over the floor? Laugh and get your kids to grab some towels to go ice skating to clean it up!
Did cereal get dumped out? Make it a game to see how fast the vacuum can suck everything up!
When I find humor in a situation, I’m happier and much more lighthearted. Every time something happened that involved a mess was making me crazy because I felt that my children were making messes and I was constantly having to clean up after them. My perspective needed to change. I now teach them how to clean it up along with me and let them try again! My kids weren’t out to get me, but I was taking things personally.
Let them be kids!
Remove Yourself and Choose to Be a More Patient Mom
Removing yourself from the situation makes a huge difference in your response! Sometimes it’s best to turn around and walk away. Shut the door, diffuse, pick up a book for a minute and decompress. Then walk out 1 minute later with a huge smile on your face.
I’m not saying you have to be happy about certain behaviors or actions, but just fake it until you make it! Even if it something that really upsets you, plaster that smile on and try to talk things through (either with yourself or your age-appropriate child).
If you can’t remove yourself. Fake it by using a whisper voice or a softer tone instead of a raised voice. Also, taking a few deep breaths really helps with centering yourself and keeping control.
Take a second to understand instead of jumping to conclusions. Take a second and remember that you love them no matter what and that you need to portray that message to them even in hard situations.
Another thing that always helps me is separating what my children are feeling emotionally from what I’m feeling. Things can get really heated really fast. You don’t have to act like them and mirror their emotions to get a point across.
Get Down to Their Level
Play with your kids! I find that when I take the time to do something my child enjoys, they are so happy! This also translates into good behavior and makes you feel like a phenomenal parent.
It really does reduce stress levels and reminds you of where they are at mentally and emotionally with maturity.
Something that I always try to remember is that what we do and say with our kids is what resonates with them and becomes their inner voice. If we aren’t willing to spend time with them and get to know them, just think of how they feel about themselves and what their self-talk might be. Err on the side of caution and instill good positive vibes for their self-esteem!
If you do lose your cool, admit that you did something that you shouldn’t have and apologize TO THEM. Thankfully, children are VERY forgiving, but it is also a good teaching moment. You can help them understand why you were upset and how you calmed down.
Take Time for Yourself
There are times I catch myself getting upset simply because I haven’t taken care of myself. I forgot to eat some breakfast or stay hydrated, and I was a crazy person because of it! Think about how your kids are when they are hungry. Do they get upset and throw tantrums or have a really bad attitude?
The same goes for us parents. REFUEL!
Taking time to be by yourself and do what you want or need to do is important too. Recognize that every single person has physical, mental and emotional needs…and you are a human being that needs those things too! There is often so much focus on other’s needs being met by moms. But your needs matter too! It is so much easier to be a more patient mom when you are willing to set time aside for just you.
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Shiree is my other half. She calls herself boring, but she is far from it! She lives in Kansas City with her husband and her 4 kids ages 7, 5, 2, and 1! She really is super mom as she spends hours working on the blog and finding a way to still take care of her kids effortlessly! Shiree was married young and started a family right away. She jokes all the time that nothing could have prepared her for motherhood other than motherhood!
After becoming a mom she decided to get as much knowledge as she could about raising kids and strengthening families so she decided to go to college. She obtained her degree in Marriage and Family studies and is now a Family Life Educator. She has a desire to pay it forward and help other parents raise kids and strengthen their families.