Divorce

How To Move On After You’ve Been Hurt

*This is a collaboration post.

Whether your relationship ended without a clear reason or you had been arguing every day for the past few months, separation can be painful. We try to hold on to the ideal we imagined our relationship would develop into. It is natural when our dreams are shattered to look for excuses as to what went wrong. We sometimes blame the other party and focus on the past instead of looking ahead. Here are some tips on how to move on from your painful past and start again.

moving-on-after-seperation

Image via Pete Bellis

Stop Self-Blame

One of the mistakes people make after a breakup is blaming themselves and trying to find excuses for their ex for their behavior. The fact is that sometimes there is no reason or solution. If your ex displayed a selfish behavior and you can’t put up with his habits, there are likely to be fundamental differences that cannot be bridged. It is time to realize that there were two people in the relationship, and if you couldn’t accept your ex partner’s behavior, you will never be able to.

Get Real

Instead of daydreaming and imagining how it would have been if you didn’t break up, searching the internet for tips on how to get your ex back, it might be time to accept that you are no longer together. Looking back, we seem to be blinded by pain and the past seems more rosy than it really was. It is important that you realistically analyze your relationship. Finding the real reason why it would never have worked out is key.

If It Didn’t Work, It is Not Likely to Work Ever

Image via Kyle Broad

 

If you believe that you did everything to make it work and you still broke up, it might be time to accept that it is simply not worth the effort to try again, You might want to move on and get a divorce or take a step back instead of chasing a dream. Consider the different circumstances that contributed to the breakup, and you will see that this outcome was inevitable.

Learn from Your Mistakes

While you should not dwell on the past and sulk after you have been hurt, it is necessary to admit and face your mistakes, so you can learn from them. Chances are that you were not confident enough to deal with your ex partner’s behavior at an early stage, or you didn’t pay enough attention to their needs. Regardless of what you did wrong, don’t blame yourself. Instead promise yourself not to make the same mistakes in the future.

Get Closure

Sometimes all we need is a closure. If your ex partner simply disappeared without an explanation or stopped contacting you without any obvious reasons, you might have different thoughts circulating in your head. They might be sick, injured, or had a death in the family. Wouldn’t it be good to know that they are fine, simply not interested? Accept that they moved on and follow their example, even if you don’t know the exact reason for their decision.

 

It is important that you focus on your future. Finally, start now learning from your mistakes after you’ve been hurt in a relationship.

 

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