At times we struggle as parents and make mistakes. Here are 5 of the biggest parenting mistakes to avoid and if you make them how to overcome them!
~This is a collaboration post.
5 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid
When you have a child, our life changes forever! Our priorities begin to change and we have a brand new perspective on life. We begin to transform into a different person. As we do this we still are not perfect and make a ton of mistakes as we raise our kids. Here are 5 parenting mistakes to avoid.
Being overly harsh on punishments
One of my biggest parenting mistakes is that I am too harsh when it comes to punishments. It is so irritating when you see your kids do the wrong thing, even though you have taught them to make the right choices. It makes you start to question your own parenting skills because you know you raised them a certain way. But as parents it’s important to remember- everyone makes mistakes.
Just like you, sometimes your kids will do things out of character, they might do something because of peer pressure or make the wrong call. While it is important to discipline them we should never punish them harshly. Talk to your kids calmly. Find out the reasons why they fell victim to peer pressure. Get to the bottom of things. When you do this with love you are more apt to have your child open up to you so you can help them.
Being too strict
No parent ever means to be too strict. A strict parent only wants the best for their child. If you’re known for being strict, chances are it’s because you want to ensure your kids follow the rules, have respect and will go on to become productive members of society. Of course, there’s nothing at all wrong with wanting those things, but as with anything, it’s all about finding the balance. Your children do need to learn respect and to follow the rules, but they also need some room to be able to make their own mistakes too.
I used to be so strict, if you don’t believe me, ask my kids! I was this way because I never wanted them to make a big mistake. As I did this I sheltered them from everything around them. I began to realize this is a big parenting mistake because eventually, they are going to want to spread their wings and explore. Wouldn’t you rather have them doing this by playing video games before homework than something much bigger?
Letting your kids explore early to allow them to learn. They exercise the freedom to express themselves and learn valuable lessons they can only learn by making mistakes. Children of parents that are too strict can sometimes rebel as a way to gain this control, so this is something to consider throughout your parenting journey.
Yelling Rather than Explaining
Oh, yes, don’t cringe because we all do this! We all have yelled at our kids before so you are not alone! Yelling at our kids is one of the biggest parenting mistakes we can make. It’s important to be calm cool and collective when it comes to discipline with our kids. Think about this, when someone is yelling at you or being stern what do you do? I know for me I put up this invisible wall and tune them out and just stare into space. Our kids do the same thing! So, rather than get upset and start yelling, take a moment to calm yourself and calmly talk to your kids about their mistake.
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Staying together ‘for the kids’
Another thing that falls high on the parenting mistakes list is staying together “for the kids.” Sometimes couples feel like this is the best thing to do. They might witness arguing and shouting, and it can generally be a stressful experience for everyone involved. No one can counsel you on if it is or isn’t.
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We just have to make sure we have exhausted every resource we can to repair our relationship first! Perhaps look to ways to light the fire back in your marriage, go on more dates to reconnect. Unfortunately, after we have exhausted all our resources we might need to find a lawyer that specializes in divorce, such as the law office of Gordon N. Shayne divorce attorney. But, before we do this we must ask ourselves have we done everything we could to save this marriage?
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As parents, we love to tell our kids “good job” for pretty much anything and everything they do. Sometimes we do even when the job is not quite done right. When we do this we are actually making their life harder as they grow up. The reasoning for this is because they come to expect this praise every time they do something.
It, of course, is great to tell kids that they are doing a great job some of the time, but we must try not to overuse these terms. Try something else, like you when your child pedals their bike for the first time, rather than “great job” tell them, “You pedaled your bike all by yourself!”
As parents, we are bound to make mistakes, I mean no one is perfect, it’s what we do when we make these parenting mistakes that matters! When we screw up as a parent don’t get down on yourself, pick yourself up and keep trying! That is the best thing we can do as a parent. Forgive, forget and move on! Life is about Learning from our parenting mistakes not dwelling on them!
What do you do when you make a parenting mistake?
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Michele is a Family Life Educator. She is a mom to 5 kids and loves helping others strengthen their families! When she is not blogging she is spending time with her family and running around drinking Diet Coke trying to get everything done!