Pride is always hard to recognize in ourselves but so easy to recognize in others. Pride in marriage can be overcome when we focus on our own faults.
As my husband came home from work late again I was frustrated and mad. The baby had been crying for 30 minutes, she was hungry, I was trying to make dinner, the kids needed help with their homework and I really just needed to go to the bathroom. As he walked in the door I looked at him, handed him the crying baby and said, “Why are you always home late? You are never here when I need you!” From that point on for the rest of the night, I did not speak to him. I chose to ignore him and give him the cold shoulder because how could he have done that to me!
Throughout our lives, we have been warned of being prideful. I had never thought of myself as being prideful… until now. …
What is Pride in Marriage?
Ezra Taft Benson said, “Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance.” Could I have been sinning in ignorance all this time? Sure, I was really good at pointing out other people’s faults, but maybe not so much at trying to fix my own was this being prideful? Ezra Taft Benson tells us, “ The central feature of pride is enmity-enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.’ It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.”
Pride has many faces. It is easily found in others, but really hard to find in ourselves. Other signs of pride are disobedience, selfishness, contention, and becoming offended and holding grudges. Pride is honestly believing that we know our partners and how they are. We know their thoughts and motives more than they do. Pride in marriage can be detrimental to our relationship with our spouses and we need to be aware of it’s presence.
Isn’t it his fault?
When my husband came home from work I easily found his fault. He was late. He should have been there.
Did I find my own faults? No, I could not accept the fact that I should have helped with homework earlier, I should have tried to feed the baby instead of scrolling through social media 20 minutes before it was time for dinner to be made I also could have planned dinner out a little bit better and started earlier. I knew he had a big project at work he’s been trying to get done.
It was kind of selfish of me not letting him have a few minutes to unwind from his day and inquiring how it was. I was also being confrontational and holding a grudge. In this one small scenario, I demonstrated every sign of being prideful.
How would one know if they are being prideful? Take one small scenario write it down and look for the many faces of pride.
Overcoming Pride in Marriage
How do we overcome our pride in marriage? We need to have a broken heart and a contrite spirit and become humble. Becoming humble requires us to forgive those who have wronged us and by being selfless. We become humble by admitting our sins, asking for forgiveness and by loving God.
Let us all focus on ourselves rather than find fault in those around us. Let us be selfless and lift people up rather than tear people down. Through this, we can be changed and become a humble people, especially in our marriages.
Michele is a Family Life Educator. She is a mom to 5 kids and loves helping others strengthen their families! When she is not blogging she is spending time with her family and running around drinking Diet Coke trying to get everything done!