Pride in Your Marriage? 10 Simple Steps to Overcoming Pride in Marriage

As my husband came home from work late again I was frustrated and mad. The baby had been crying for 30 minutes, she was hungry, I was trying to make dinner, the kids needed help with their homework and I really just needed to go to the bathroom.

As he walked in the door I looked at him, handed him the crying baby, and said, “Why are you always home late? You are never here when I need you!” From that point on for the rest of the night, I did not speak to him. I chose to ignore him and give him the cold shoulder because, how could he have done that to me?!

Throughout our lives, we have been warned of being prideful.  I had never thought of myself as being prideful… until now. …

10 Steps to Overcoming Pride in Marriage 

When we are experiencing pride in our marriage we start to become closed off to our spouse. Pride is the number one killer of our marriage. So here are 10 steps to overcoming pride in marriage. 

1. Recognize

The first step overcoming pride in marriage is recognizing the pride. This is not recognizing the pride of others, AKA your spouse, but your own pride. 

Once you recognize pride, you are able to overcome it and strengthen your relationship. 

2. Stop Looking for Faults

One of our biggest mistakes is finding fault in others. It is so easy to do, we do this when we complain about them being late or not helping with the kids. 

I will be honest I struggle with finding fault in marriage all the time and when I do I force myself to think of three positive things about my spouse. 

By doing this I immediately am focused back on the good so our relationship can continue to move forward. 

3. Become Humble

Marriage is about compromise and working together. Sometimes we might be a little stubborn and hard-headed, I might know a thing or two about this…

When you are able to humble yourself, then we are able to become a better listener in marriage. 

4. Be Open-minded

Going right along with becoming humble, we need to have an open mind. This includes listening to your spouse’s suggestions, opinions, and thoughts.

It is easy to tune them out quickly if their opinion does not match ours, but this causes even more contention when we aren’t even willing to listen to their perspective. 

5. Don’t take yourself to seriously

Psychology Today explains that pride comes into our relationship when we are embarrassed or shameful. 

When we understand that no one is perfect and learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes pride in marriage will begin to fade away, so try not to worry about making mistakes and give yourself a break now and again!

6. Don’t take all the attention

Pride is sort of like an addiction in the sense that it needs all the attention. When you need all the attention we are not able to focus on our spouse when we should. Sometimes when this occurs without even knowing it we start taking our spouse for granted, talking down to them, and making them the center of our jokes to get the attention our pride needs. 

7. Listen, Like Really Listen

One of the MOST IMPORTANT ways of overcoming pride in marriage is to listen, like really listen. 

Listen to their thoughts, their dreams, their opinions. Seek to understand why they feel the way they do. 

In every conversation give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. 

When we do this, we really do start to see our spouse with a whole new set of eyes, and the pride in marriage quickly disappears. 

8. Ask 

Asking for help is sometimes hard. We like things done a certain way and when we ask for help we have to accept the fact that they might do it differently than us, therefore it is really hard to ask for help, but when we do we will see our marriage relationship reach a whole new level. 

9. Sacrifice

In marriage, we must make sacrifices. It is hard at times, but when we make those sacrifices we are able to overcome pride in marriage. 

10. I’m Sorry

The last step to overcoming pride in marriage comes down to two words, “I’m sorry!”

By saying these two words it makes you human. It shows that you care and you recognize that you made a mistake and that you are willing to change and become better. 

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