After becoming a mother, you may find yourself feeling like you’ve lost your identity. If you have been wanting to know how to rediscover yourself after motherhood check out these 10 great tips!
Rediscovering Yourself After Motherhood
Motherhood is HARD.
We all know it, right? No matter what stage of motherhood you are in, you are sure to have a lot going on! Between comforting our kids, taking care of things around the home, packing lunches, waking for night feedings, and everything else, we’ve got our hands full!
Being a mom is a special gift and changes you in ways you didn’t know were possible. While that can be a great thing, it can also leave you feeling like you don’t know yourself anymore!
At some point after becoming a mom, I realized that I had neglected myself while trying to support my kids.
Now don’t get me wrong, my kids are a huge part of who I am. I love that part of my identity is that I am a mother! However, I also wanted to begin rediscovering myself and who I was after becoming a mom!
Being a mom doesn’t mean that you have to lose the talents, passions, and personality traits that you had when you were child-free. Rediscovering yourself after motherhood simply means finding out who you are now that you are adding “mom” to the things that make you YOU!
How to Rediscover Yourself
Rediscovering myself was made so much easier when I started doing these things! Here are 10 ways to find your identity again after becoming a mom!
Wake up early
Waking up early is my secret weapon as a mom.
This simple but effective choice gives me some much-needed time to myself to start the day before mom-duty begins. Much of my discovering myself took place while studying, exercising, or meditating in the early hours of the day.
I know it can be hard to wake up before your kids! Even if you were once a morning person, something about the stresses of motherhood really makes you crave sleeping in!
I promise that it is worth it. Set your alarm for even just a half-hour earlier than your kids usually wake up and give yourself some you-time!
Find a way to relax
We all know that balancing motherhood and self-care can be hard, but we have to find ways to relax!
Perhaps you could sit down during nap time for a few minutes to read a good book. Maybe you could take up yoga or learn a new method of meditation. You could even make it a priority to do a spa-trip every once in a while.
If you are having a hard time finding time to relax, ask for help! Ask your husband to sit with the kids for a few minutes. Ask a friend or neighbor to do a mom-swap with babysitting. Make it happen.
You know yourself best, so make it a priority to do things that you know will help you relax.
I cannot stress enough how important it is for moms to be social! Especially if you have young kids that need a lot of your attention, you are bound to feel lonely and overwhelmed.
Get outside your comfort zone and spend some time with friends!
If your friends have kids, get them together for a playdate at one of your homes or at a local park! Let the kids play while you and your mom friends chat, share advice, and come together in support.
I remember being invited to playdates and outings with little kids and my first thought was always, “ugh, that is so much work to get them ready and then they will just be crazy!”
But every time I decided to go, the benefits of being out with other moms and friends helped me with rediscovering myself. It felt like a breath of fresh air. Like I was myself again and not just a mom-machine!
If you are having a hard time making friends, try starting at your local park or library! I’ve made so many friends by just being brave enough to say hello to other moms I meet.
Don’t listen to the critics
Though I wish there could just be an “off” button for all the unsolicited advice and unkind words about mom’s parenting choices, you are bound to hear some critical words from your friends, family, and even strangers.
Here’s the secret to not losing yourself in motherhood. Ready for it? Don’t listen to the critics! You’ll have plenty of people who will tell you that working moms don’t love their kids, or stay-at-home moms are lazy, but guess what? You know who you are and you know how strong your love is.
Don’t let any of these comments define you! Rediscovering yourself after motherhood is all about finding strength and confidence in yourself. Let those critics waste their own time worrying!
Is it just me, or does every out there seem completely perfect?!
If you want to know how to rediscover yourself as a mother, you need to learn to look beyond what you see! We only get small snapshots into most people’s lives. Everyone’s has good days and bad days and it’s not surprising that we often see perfect portrayals instead of the full picture!
Not only do we not know other peoples’ full story, but we are also all unique and at different stages of life! Give yourself some grace and don’t compare yourself!
Date your husband
Isn’t it crazy that we have to remind ourselves to date our husbands?
Having kids often means that dating your spouse takes a backseat to every other need in your family. But it absolutely needs to be a priority! Not only is date night a good way to strengthen your marriage, but it often strengthens your sense of self!
Dating my husband has been my golden ticket for rediscovering myself. Think about it! Going on a date means that you’ll get dressed, get out of the house, do something fun, and spend quality time with someone you love.
Get to know your spouse better and get to know yourself with regular dates!
Find joy in motherhood
Rediscovering yourself after motherhood doesn’t mean discounting your role as a mother! It means embracing it!
Motherhood isn’t all of you, but it is a large part of you. So what about being a mother brings you joy? What changes in yourself have you loved since becoming a mom?
Being a mom comes with a lot of stress and it can be tricky to separate those overwhelming feelings from the ones of happiness and fun that your kids bring!
I’ll bet that you are stronger, braver, and wiser than you ever thought was possible before you became a mother. As you find your new identity, you will discover all the amazing additions to your character that you’ve gained during your motherhood journey!
Get back into old hobbies… or try a new one!
One of the best things I did while trying to rediscover myself was spending time doing things I love again!
Hobbies for stay at home moms can be anything. If you used to like playing sports, crafting, cooking, reading, or anything else, make time to do it again! You could also try something new. Take a leap and do something you’ve never done before.
You spend so much time encouraging your family on their interests, it’s time to prioritize some of your own!
Part of finding yourself is self-development and improvement, so setting goals is always a good place to start.
Setting reasonable goals helps you to feel good about yourself and promote good change! Think about what things in your life you want to improve and start with small steps!
You could work towards a career goal. You could try to improve your personal health. You could try new organization techniques. You could try to develop a quality that you want to have!
Whatever you decide to do, be a little selfish and make it about you!
Look at how far you’ve come
I wasted way too much time looking back at who I was before I had kids. I missed my stretch-mark-free body. I missed my free time. I missed my carefree attitude. I thought that having kids meant I was losing a part of myself.
But in reality, having kids transformed me in the best way.
The most important thing about rediscovering yourself after motherhood is realizing that you have grown so much by becoming a mom!
Think about how much you have gone through! All the late nights, the diaper changes, the sick days, the pregnancies, and all the rest. You got through everything and you’re stronger because of it!
How to Rediscover Yourself
Rediscovering myself wasn’t always easy when motherhood had me feeling so lost, but I am so glad that I made the effort.
Balancing self-care with being an awesome mom takes some practice. You are a totally new person with new responsibilities so it makes sense that it’ll take a little time to get to know yourself again!
So if you’ve been struggling with how to rediscover yourself after introducing children into your life, start with these 10 tips!
So how do you feel like you’ve rediscovered yourself after becoming a mom? Share in the comments! We love hearing from you!
Check out these other great posts about motherhood:
Don’t forget to save this post on Pinterest so you can find it when you are ready to find yourself after becoming a mom!
Michele is a Family Life Educator with her degree in marriage and family studies. She is a mom to 5 kids and loves helping others strengthen their families! When she is not blogging she is spending time with her family and running around drinking Diet Coke trying to get everything done!