baby, Marriage, parenting, relationship skills

4 Tips to Help Your Marriage Survive a New Baby


208 days ago my husband and my life changed once again when we welcomed baby #5 into our home! I still remember those precious moments after Tony’s birth that I quietly got to spend with my husband. These moments in my eyes are some of the most special ones a couple can experience together sharing in the joy of this beautiful infant being brought into the world.


After a day or two in the hospital you get to bring home this beautiful infant and you soon you realize that your entire lives have been turned upside down, caring for this infant who needs your attention around the clock. It is easy to get caught up in the taking care of the baby that you quickly forget about your relationship with your spouse and only focus on feeding schedules, lack of sleep, and the fact that you constantly smell like spit up, I get it! I’ve been there many times, we have a lot of kids.

I would have to say that having a new baby in my eyes is one of the hardest times (but yet one of the most special times) in your marriage just because of the hormones, lack of sleep, and trying to figure out how to get everything done. I think it is only natural that we quickly start replacing time with our spouse with infant feedings, diaper changes, and other necessary things we need to do for our baby. So how can we care for our brand new babies, but yet continue to focus on our relationship with our spouse?

I have discovered when I focus on a few small simple things that our relationship not only stays strong, but I also get more help with the baby and the other kids, bonus for me right?! So on to the tips that can help your relationship survive your new bundle of joy!

Appreciate the Little Things

It’s so easy after having a baby to go a little crazy! I mean think about it… lack of sleep, something literally always attached to you, hormone levels are all over the place, your hair is falling out making you wonder if you will wake up bald tomorrow, and the one thing you fear the most is that someone is going to come and get your baby sick and send you back to the hospital so you become a major germaphobe! With us, as moms, so caught up with all these things, it is so easy for us to forget about the diapers our husbands changed, the trips to the store he took to get more pads because we were leaking through every shirt we owned, or the fast food he picked up on his way home from work so we didn’t even have to think about who was going to clean up after dinner. Of course, these things don’t go unnoticed by us, but sometimes we get so caught up in the moment doing other things that we don’t let our husbands know how much we appreciate them. We should take the time to verbally acknowledge how much we appreciate these small acts and let them know that they don’t go unnoticed.


Connect Each and Every day

I know what you are thinking! Trust me, I think it too! In fact, connecting each day is the last thing that I want to do, (If you don’t believe me, just read To My Husband), but it is necessary to continue to strengthen your relationship. So how can you do this when you can’t do certain things for 6 weeks according to the doctors? Well, of course, there can be lots of kissing, hand holding, and back rubs, snuggling just the two of you in between all the cries from your newborn, late night feedings, and diaper changes.

After the 6 weeks are up, make time for your hubbies, we don’t want them to be grumpy. 🙂 I know you are tired, I know you don’t want to be touched, I know all you want to do is to go to sleep, but I promise if you take this time with one another it will 1. Put him in a good mood  2. Encourage him to help more and 3. Strengthen your relationship and show that the two of you are still important to one another!

So take a nap, when the baby sleeps (no one will know, I promise). Take a shower every couple of days and make sure to make your spouse a priority too!

Kiss Criticizing Goodbye

Ask my husband, I’m Queen Bee when it comes to criticizing, but with a new baby, it is a learning experience for everyone so we need to kiss the criticizing Goodbye! With so many crazy baby things out there it is easy to be confused between bumbos and boppies. And who really remembers to point little boy parts down so you don’t get peed on at the 3am feeding? I am sure that your husband did not intend for your baby to pee through everything and on you in the middle of the night. Swaddling is an art and I’m sure you weren’t an expert the first time either, so let’s let him catch a break. So go easy on our spouses and kiss the criticizing goodbye and be grateful they are an active participant in your baby’s life trying to help make your life easier, even if it’s not the way you would normally do it.

It’s Not All About the Baby

I totally get that we all just got another demanding full-time job (a newborn!), but I am going to let you in on a little secret… Ready for it? Your life doesn’t always have to revolve around that sweet little infant. Not everyone wants to hear what color their poop was that day, or that they were awake for 3 hours 26 minutes and 15 seconds. When your husband gets home from work really listen to what he is saying, rather than half listening and half thinking when the next feeding is and what side the baby needs to eat on… Let’s make sure we allow our spouses to feel important, even with our lack of sleep and engorged boobs.

With all this being said, babies grow up so fast, so soak up their smells and kiss that soft skin. Nurse them for a few minutes longer because those moments will quickly pass you by, but just don’t forget about your spouses in the meantime. Show your spouse’s how much you love them and how grateful you are for this life that you are building together.


How are you going to show your spouse you appreciate them today?


baby, Kids, parenting, Product Review

What you Really Need the First Three Months

When we found out TJ was joining our family we knew he would be the very last baby joining our family! We didn’t want to spend a lot of money on things we would just be getting rid of or selling after he was done using them. For this reason we call him our minimalistic baby because we only have gotten the bare essentials!

What do Babies Really need the First Three Months?  It’s simple…Not Much! 🙂

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baby, Kids

Birth Story: readmittance to the Hospital

On Sunday, we had to go back to the hospital for his weight and jaundice level check, which is usually done at your Peds office, but with it being 4th of July on Tuesday everyone seemed to be closed so we had to go back and visit our hospital friends. We checked in and immediately they started to try and draw more blood from his foot…

Now after about 40 pokes in the last couple days I was a little sensitive to them taking more blood from him, especially since the order said that they would test his bilirubin levels with the head scanner! If something doesn’t seem right, always ask! Which I did! And after they reviewed the orders they determined we were not supposed to test his levels through blood because he had never failed the test.

We met with the nurse and she did a weight check first. His weight had dropped a little, but not enough to be concerned. Then she checked his bilirubin levels. She pressed the scanner on his forehead and checked the number… She looked perplexed; she checked it again. #5 was now jaundice according to the reader. She said she had to go talk to the doctor that was there.

She came back and said that doc ordered a blood test for the bilirubin levels to get an accurate number and she then informed me that the doctor wanted a sugar reading as well. What?!  I thought we had moved on from that!

The good news was he barely passed his sugar levels test; the bad news was he barely failed his jaundice test.birth-story-being-readmitted-to-the-hospital

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baby, Kids

#5’s Birth Story Overcoming Trials the First Week of Life Part 2


We were guaranteed a 48-hour stay in the hospital based on being strep B+ and not getting all the antibiotics administered in time, so we got comfortable. The first full day we were there it was glorious; we were visited by family and friends and celebrated our healthy baby boy.

The following day #5 went off to get circumcised and for his pediatrician check. While he was gone I took a shower and got ready for the day. Then it happened…

The nurse rolled #5 back into the room and asked, “has he been jittery at all lately?” Thinking back I didn’t recall that he was any more than any of my other babies… She then dropped the bomb that he had low sugar levels and we were now going to have to test him before every feeding to see where his levels were. We would have to pass three consecutive tests…My heart dropped, how could this have happened?


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baby, Kids

#5 Birth Story… Overcoming Trials in the First Week of Life Part 1

It was an ordinary Wednesday in June I went to the doctor for my 37-week check up. Everything was going well; I was beginning to dilate which is always great news! I went for my final ultrasound to check to make sure all the cysts were gone from our 20-week ultrasound. (For news on this click here). The ultrasound was great! No signs of cysts and he looked quite healthy with chubby cheeks! The best ultrasound tech in the world, Randy, figured at that moment he weighed about 7 pounds 11 ounces.


I went home relieved that our baby boy was healthy. It was a beautiful day outside, which never happens in Texas in the Summer so I decided to take #3 and #4 for a walk. On our walk, we passed our neighbor who was headed to the pool. She stopped and told us to meet her there. It sounded like a great idea, so we finished our walk and headed over for a swim.

At first, everything was going great. The kids were great, the weather was great, and the company was great. The kids decided they were hungry so we got out for a snack. All of a sudden it happened…excruciating pain that would only go away for a few minutes, was it time? Certainly, it wasn’t it was too early; I was only 37 weeks and 3 days. The pains continued, so I decided to get back in the water…that didn’t help. At that point, I knew… It was time, whether I was ready or not.

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My Life, pregnancy

No Abnormalities

It was an exciting day in February; it was ultrasound day! The boys had convinced us that they should go with us to see if we were having a boy or a girl. After much convincing, we finally agreed reluctantly after remembering how Colby reacted (whaling and gnashing of teeth stating that she will NEVER go to any of his sports games) when we told him we were having a girl two years ago!

Prepping For the UltraSound

As we arrived at our ultrasound we headed into the small room. I climbed onto the table and got ready. The boys and Ty were excited. The ultrasound tech was typing notes on the screen, one which stated no abnormalities, which we could see on the TV on the wall.
As the ultrasound began we all actively searched for little boy parts. I thought I had spotted something, but didn’t want to say anything. After a few minutes, we got the news that we were all there for!

Are you serious?

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