70 Toadly Awesome Turtle Jokes For Kids

Last Updated on January 31, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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What do you call a flying turtle? A shellicopter! If you are ready for some toadly awesome turtle jokes you have come to the right place! These turtle jokes for kids are shelltastic! These are sure to make you laugh and not make you bury your head in the sand!

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We love jokes in our home. They are the perfect way to get the kids laughing and an even better way to get the kids in a good mood. So when your kids get snappy tell them these toadly awesome turtle jokes for kids.

Don’t worry these jokes won’t be a turtle disaster or make you go “oh Shell” because they are clean and wholesome and perfect for everyone to hear! So no need to sneak into your shell, go on and shout them all over the beach! Pair these with our bear jokes and candy jokes for kids for even more fun!

 
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The Best Turtle Jokes For Kids

turtle jokes for kids with salmon colored turtle with pink border
  • What do  turtles do on their birthday? They shell-ebrate.
  • Why can’t a turtle eat food from McDonald’s? Because,  a turtle is too slow for fast food.
  • What do turtles use to communicate? A shell-phone.
  • What type of photos does a turtle love to take? Shellfies.
  • What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity.
  • What do you call a truck full of sea turtles crashing into a train full of terrapins? A turtle disaster.
  • What do you  get when you cross a turtle with a giraffe? A turtle-neck.
  • What do you call turtles who are only awake during the night time? Noc-turtles.
  • Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station.
  • What did the cow say to the turtle? Get a mooove on.
  • What do you call a turtle who loves photography? A snapping turtle.
  • Why do turtles never forget? Because they have turtle recall.
  • What do you call a turtle chef? A slow- cooker.
  • What’s a turtle’s favorite sandwich? Seanut butter and jelly-fish.
turtle jokes for kids with salmon colored turtle with pink border
  • What kind of jokes do turtles tell? Shell-larious ones.
  • What’s the name for a turtle with 6 feet? A 6 foot turtle.
  • What’s a turtle’s favorite game? Beakaboo.
  • What do you call a flying turtle? A shell-a-copter.
  • I went to the book shop to ask if they had any books about turtles. The cashier said “hardback?” I said “yes, and little heads”!
  • My favorite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle. Unusual name, but she tortoise well.
turtle jokes for kids with green colored turtle with pink border
  • What happens if you get into a fight with one of the famous Ninja Turtles? You get shell shocked.
  • Why do teenage mutant Ninja Turtles hate office work? Because they can’t stand The Shredder.
  • What do you call Ace Duck when he’s spying on the turtles? A peking duck.
  • What’s green and goes click click click? A ballpoint turtle.
  • Where did the turtles first encounter the Evil Leatherhead? In the alley-gator.
  • How does the turtles’ friend Usaji Yojimbo keep his hair so neat? He uses a hare-brush.
  • Why did Leonardo put his head in a piano? Because he wanted to play by ear.
  • Why is it difficult for Don to see? Because he’s the undercover turtle.
  • Why did Shredder have a shower before leaving the turtles lair? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
  • Why couldn’t the famous Ninja Turtle cross the road? Because he didn’t have enough turtle power.
  • What do you get if you cross a turtle and a lama? A turtle neck sweater.
  • What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine? A slowpoke.
  • Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the other side.
  • What does a turtle need to wear when he rides a bike? A shell-met.
  • What do you call a flying turtle? A shellicopter.
  • My pet turtle died. I’m not upset, just shell-shocked.
turtle jokes for kids with aqua colored turtle with pink border
  • Where does a turtle go when it’s raining? A shell-ter.
  • My friend and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday. It tortoise nothing.
  • How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted? Shell-shocked.
  • What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
  • A turtle disaster.
  • I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle. I had a shell of a time.
  • What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo? A turtle neck jumper.
  • What do you call a turtle with six feet? A six-foot turtle!
  • Why is turtle wax so expensive? Because their ears are so small.
  • What’s a turtle’s go-to romantic move? Slow dances.
  • How did the musician turtle get off his back? He rocked, and he rolled.
  • What do you need to do to buy a rare turtle? You have to shell out a ton of money.
  • What do you call a turtle with diarrhea? A turdle
  • What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise? A slow-pork
  • If a turtle loses its shell, Is it naked or homeless?
  • What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle’s back? Weeeeeee!
  • What is a turtle’s favorite kind of sweater? A turtle neck.
  • Where do you find a leg-less turtle? Wherever you left it!
  • What does a turtle dictator run? A cruel turtle-itarian regime.
  • What did the turtle say when the frog jumped out from behind a bush? “Oh, you sturtled me!”
turtle jokes for kids with aqua colored turtle with pink border
  • What’s a turtle’s favorite Shakespearean line? “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?”
  • Why is a tortoise not able to stand up? Because they have a reptile dysfunction
  • Where do turtles always go to buy petrol? The shell station!
  • My auntie was killed by a stampede of turtles. It was a very slow death.
  • I was told to stop eating fast food. I now just eat turtles.
  • What did the turtle do when he won the race? He shellebrated!
  • What happened to the turtle who wanted to go to university? His parents had to shell out a lot of money.
  • What kind of sandwiches do turtles eat? Sliders!
  • When’s a turtle not a turtle? When he’s shell-fish.
  • What do turtles do best? Slow dances.
  • What did the turtle say to the taco? Is that my shell or yours?
  • How did the turtle get off his back? He rocked and he rolled.
  • What kind of turtles are the easiest to find? Green “see” turtles.
  • What happens to you when you wish to buy a turtle? You have to shell out a lot of money.
  • Where do turtles go who commit crimes? To the prison shell-block.
turtle jokes for kids with pink colored turtle with pink border

Weren’t those toadly awesome?! Do you have more turtle jokes for kids? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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