If you’ve ever needed a quick way to turn a grumpy mood around—on a car ride, at the dinner table, or during that awkward “waiting” time—kid-friendly jokes are my favorite no-prep fix.
In our house, one silly joke can change the whole vibe. Kids start laughing, someone tries to top the last joke, and suddenly we’re having fun again instead of arguing about who looked out whose window.
Below you’ll find a big collection of clean jokes for kids, organized by type so you can jump straight to what your family loves most—animal jokes, silly one-liners, dad jokes, seasonal jokes, and more.
Quick tip: Let each kid pick the next joke. They love being “the funny one.”
Want even more laughs? Explore our full collection of jokes and puns in our Jokes & Puns Hub.
Jump to a Joke Category
- Animal Jokes
- Silly & Random Jokes
- Food Jokes
- School & Smart Jokes
- Math Jokes
- Spooky/Halloween Jokes
- Holiday & Seasonal Jokes
- Pirate Jokes
Animal Jokes for Kids
Animals + jokes are a guaranteed win. These are perfect for younger kids and always get giggles.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
- Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank!
- Why do birds fly south in the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
- What do you call a dog that can tell time? A watch dog!
- What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
- What do you call a fly without wings? A walk!
- What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A milk dud.
Silly & Random Jokes Kids Love
These are quick, easy jokes that work anywhere—car rides, waiting rooms, and dinner clean-up time.
- How do all the oceans say hello to each other? They wave!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- What is brown and sticky? A stick!
- What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
- What has hands but can’t clap? A clock!
- Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed!
- What kind of room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!
- What did one plate say to the other? Dinner is on me!
- Why did the traffic light say to the truck? Don’t look! I’m changing!
Food Jokes for Kids
Food jokes are perfect for lunchbox notes, mealtime laughs, and picky eaters who need a little fun.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Where do cows go for entertainment? To the moo-vies!
- Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy!
- Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
- What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
- Two pickles fell out of a jar. What did one say? Dill with it.
- How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
- What do cakes and baseball teams have in common? They both need a good batter.
- What do fish play on the piano? Scales!
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
School Jokes
These school jokes are great for teachers, classroom brain breaks, and kids who love “smart” jokes.
- Why did the teacher put on sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
- Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems!
- Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
- Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because she wanted to go to high school.
- What building in your town has the most stories? The public library.
- When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking.
- What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite.
Math Jokes for Kids
These are the perfect “groan but laugh anyway” jokes—especially for older kids.
- Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.
- Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there’s no point.
- Why was the equal sign so humble? Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
- What do you call guys who love math? Algebros.
- How do you stay warm in any room? Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.
- Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.
- Are monsters good at math? Not unless you count Dracula.
Spooky / Halloween Jokes
Fun for October, Halloween parties, and kids who love silly spooky.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
- What is a monster’s favorite dessert? I scream.
- What kind of music do mummies love? Wrap music.
- What fruit do scarecrows love the most? Straw-berries.
- What does a witch use to do her hair? Scarespray.
- What room does a ghost not need? A living room.
- What is a ghost’s nose full of? Boo-gers.
- What do you call two witches living together? Broommates.
- Why did the zombie skip school? He was feeling rotten.
- What instrument does a skeleton play? The trom-bone.
Holiday & Seasonal Jokes
These are great around the holidays—use them for family nights, parties, or lunchbox notes.
Thanksgiving Jokes
- Who isn’t hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey—he’s already stuffed.
- What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The tur-key.
- What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
- Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America? Because they missed their plane.
- Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
Christmas Jokes
- What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
- What do you call a reindeer with bad manners? Rude-olph.
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride? A Holly Davidson.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
- Where does a snowman keep his money? In a snow bank.
Easter Jokes
- Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day.
- What do you call a bunny who isn’t smart? A hare brain.
- What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The Bunny Hop.
- Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke? It might crack up.
- What did one colored egg say to the other? Heard any good yolks lately?
Pirate Jokes
Pirate jokes are always a hit—especially for kids who love “arr!” humor.
- Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
- How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply? He bought it on sail.
- How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? About a buck an ear.
- What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? He got marooned.
- What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes? 8 pirates.
Free Printable: Family Joke Cards
Need an easy way to get everyone laughing together?
These printable family joke cards are perfect for dinner time, car rides, or those moments when the conversation needs a quick spark. Just read one aloud and let the laughter start.
More Family-Friendly Laughs
Want More Jokes Like These?
Looking for more kid-friendly jokes? Explore our full collection of family-safe jokes and puns that are perfect for laughs anytime.
Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. She is a certified Life Coach with her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer; Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.
I shared some of these jokes with my 4-year-old at dinner and he thought they were hilarious!
I shared some of these jokes with my 4-year-old at dinner and he loved them!