Hilarious Candy Jokes For Kids That Kids Love

Last Updated on January 31, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Treat yourself to our collection of hilarious candy jokes for kids! These jokes are good, clean fun, and will have the whole family rolling in laughter! 

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Everyone loves candy and jokes, so why not have both with these candy jokes for kids? Wrapped with smiles and giggles, these sweet jokes are just what you need to put a smile on someone’s face. Be sure to grab these jokes today and get everyone chuckling!

These tasteful candy jokes for kids are completely clean and kid-friendly. You won’t feel like a sucker when you discover your kids memorizing them and repeating them to their friends! For more silly laughs, check out our funny airplane jokes for kids and banana jokes for kids! 

 
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the Best Candy Jokes for Kids

Multi-colored striped lollipop with turquoise border and candy joke
  • I got told a joke about candy bars. It wasn’t that funny so I just snickered.
  • Who is the best candy (w)rapper? Eminem!
  • What do a pistol and candy have in common? When you pull them out of your backpack suddenly everyone at school wants to be your friend.
  • I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from. He said, “I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.”
  • What is a cannibal’s favorite candy? Mentos!
  • What’s the most popular candy in Rwanda? Tutsi Roll
  • There are two types of candy. The good ones, and the ones dad eats!
  • Guys, stop making jokes about Eminem and the candy M and M’s! He’s just a wrapper!
  • What does candy do when you tell it a joke? It Snickers.
  • I once killed six zombies and nine vampires. I still wonder why they were carrying bags of candy….
  • What’s a robot’s favorite candy? A ‘Wall-E’pop!
  • What is Pennywise’s favorite candy? Sour Patch Kids!
  • Why do Scandinavian kids visit candy stores the most? Because it’s really Sweden there.
  • What do you call a Greek who loves candy? Popsicles!
  • What’s a mathematician’s favorite candy bar? N Musketeers, where N = 3!
  • Bob has 69 candy bars. He eats 42 of them and then stops eating. What does he have now? Diabetes!
  • What do you call a priest in a candy shop? A scout!
  • How can the Easter bunny afford so much candy? It’s so rich that all of its meals are 24 karat
  • Did you hear about the candy cane who could talk? He said what he mint.
  • How do you spell candy with two letters? C and Y!
  • Apparently you have to pay extra for candy these days. They call it the Tic Tax.
Orange striped candy with turquoise border and candy joke
  • What do you call a fish stuffed with candy? A fiñata.
  • What do you call a snake that eats too much candy? A snack!
  • I tried to steal candy from a baby. He slapped my hand away. Turns out he wasn’t born yesterday.
  • What kind of boat has candy in the middle? A pinYACHTa
  • I always get Halloween and Valentine’s Day confused. They’re both about candy and being something you’re not.
  • What do you call the chewy candy that tastes like a mongoose and kills snakes? Riki Tiki Taffy!
  • What is Luke Skywalker’s favorite candy? Blue milk duds.
  • If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do candy makers get? Tic tac toe!
  • I saw a chocolate car today. It must have been a Ferrari Rocher.
  • What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Kitty Cat bar.
  • I asked my friend for one of their Kit Kat fingers, but they accidentally dropped it. It was actually a Butterfinger.
  • Someone accused me of stealing their Kit Kat. Give me a break.
  • What should you do with a Kit Kat bar? Put it in your meowth.
  • Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out. the second one said, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one said, “Actually, I’m a Kit Kat.”
  • What’s a veterinarian’s favorite candy bar? Kit Kat!
  • I like to eat candy while I read. My favorite is Skittle House on the Prairie.
  • What do you get when you cross candy with pizza? Skittle Caesars.
  • Crazy Skittle thing called love. Have yourself a Merry Skittle Christmas.
  • My favorite musical is the Skittle Shop of Horrors.
Purple, Pink, and turquoise candy with turquoise border and candy joke
  • Put your money behind bars: invest in chocolate.
  • I know someone who collects candy canes. They’re all in mint condition.
  • I’m trying to get over my chocolate, nuts, and marshmallows addiction. It’s been a Rocky Road.
  • What candy does Winnie the Pooh hand out on Halloween? Bit o’ Honey.
  • What do you call a sheep covered in sugar? A candy baa.
  • Why did the M&M go to college? He wanted to be a Smartie.
  • What bear has no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • What country does candy come from? Sweeten!
  • What do you drink when you don’t want something strong? Liquor-ish.
  • What is a leopard’s favorite candy? Dots.
  • What group of people have a candy named after them? Nerds.
  • What kind of candy goes best on the Christmas tree? Ornamints.
  • I had a lollipop joke, but I forgot it. It’s on the tip of my tongue.
  • Who’s in charge of candy corn? The kernel.
  • What kind of glasses do gingerbread men wear? Eye candy.
  • What did the cute Starburst say to the Mars Bar? Going my Milky Way? 
  • What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? A Candy Baa!
  • What do you call a dog standing on a Mars bar? Rover! 
  • Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling!
  • How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie? 3.14159265!
Turquoise striped candy with turquoise border and candy joke
  • What do you call an infant that cries a lot? Baby Ruthless!
  • What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
  • What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A Mars bar!
  • What’s a southern farmer’s favorite treat? Cotton candy.
  • What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
  • What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have? A life saver!
  • What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
  • What is a monkey’s favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
  • What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy’s Kisses!
  • How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
  • How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
  • Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty… They had a baby, Ruth.
  • What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe!
  • What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee. 
  • What is a French cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse! 
  • What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant
  • What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk? The worlds best Sundae!
  • What do you call people who like to drink hot chocolate all year long? Cocoa-Nuts.
  • What’s the best part of Valentines Day? The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. 
  • Why was Mrs. Cookie so sad? She was feeling crummy.
Purple striped candy with turquoise border and candy joke
  • What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A Milk Dud.
  • Why don’t they serve chocolate in prison? Because prisoners break out!
  • What do cows give after an earth quake? Milk shakes! 
  • Where did the alien go to get a drink? A Mars bar!
  • What do you call candy that was stolen? Hot chocolate!
  • What is a pretzel’s favorite dance? The Twist!
  • Did you hear the joke about the Halloween chocolate sauce? I’m not telling you. You might spread it! 
  • Why was the vampire super intelligent? He had been eating a diet of smarties! 
  • Why was the gummy bear hiding under a wrap? There was a bounty on his head!
  • What is a monster favorite snack? Sugar babies!
  • What does Babe ruth like to do? Scores runs!
  • Why was the vampire called “sweet”? He gave everybody kisses instead!
  • Where is my mars bar, dude? Up there in the milky way! 
  • Where did the zombie apocalypse start? On 5th avenue.
  • Did your hear about Almond Joy the Hollywood star and Miss Kit Kat? They were seen giving each other kisses on 5th avenue!
  • What candies do you find at school? Smarties, Nerds, and Dum-Dums!
  • What candy do you eat on the playground? Recess pieces.
  • What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
  • What do you call a train that eats toffee? A chew-chew train.
  • What does Bigfoot say when he ask for candy? Trick-or-feet!
Multi-colored striped lollipop with turquoise border and candy joke
  • What happened to the man who only ate Skittles? He farted rainbows.
  • What is red, white, and blue over winter break? A sad candy cane.
  • What kind of beans grow in the Easter Bunny’s garden? Jelly beans!
  • What’s an aliens favorite candy? Martian-mellows
  • What’s a dentist’s worst nightmare? A lion that loves candy.
  • What’s a snowman’s favorite candy? Sno-Caps.
  • What’s the most popular sweet at the North Pole? Ice crispy treats.
  • Why did the boy put candy under his pillow? Because he wanted sweet dreams!
  • Why did the bubblegum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
  • Why did the Smartie go to school? Because he wanted to be smarter.
  • Why was the candy corn comedian booed off the stage? All of his jokes were corny.
  • What do you get when you cross candy corn and a cow? Corned Beef.
  • What do you get when you cross a werewolf and candy corn? A corn dog.
  • Why was the candy corn afraid of Jimmy? Because Jimmy cracks corn and he don’t care.
  • Who’s in charge of all the candy corn? The kernal.
  • Which Halloween candy smells bad? Footsie Rolls.
  • What did the candy corn say when he received a compliment? Aw, shucks.
  • Where do you find haunted candy corn? Lake Eerie.
  • Which Halloween candy makes the most noise? Blow Pops.
  • What kind of prize do you win in the Halloween Grand Prix? Peanut Butter Cups.
Orange striped candy with turquoise border and candy joke
  • Which candy is the most adventurous? Three Musketeers
  • Which candy was stolen? Hot tamales.
  • What do you tell candy corn after it graduates from high school? Corn-gratulations.
  • What’s the hottest candy on Halloween? Fireballs

What are the best candy jokes? Be sure to share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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