Whether you celebrate Hanukkah or you are just being introduced to this festival of lights, these Hanukkah jokes are a great way to add some laughter to the joyous holiday!
The Best Hanukkah Jokes
Hanukkah is such a wonderful holiday, and as with every special day of the year, we always find ourselves trying to make each other laugh with the best Hanukkah jokes we can find!
Some of these jokes had us seriously cracking up! I even tucked some of them into my kids’ lunches on a little note during the week of Hanukkah to give them a little pick me up.
Hanukkah is meant to be a celebration, and what celebration goes without a good dose of laughter? You can’t go wrong with any one of these jokes!
Ready for More Jokes? Try These!
Do your kids love jokes? Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These are perfect for lunch box jokes, joke cards series, bedtime laughs, and more! Grab them now!
50 Hanukkah Jokes For Kids
Q: What do you call someone who celebrates Christmas sometimes and Hanukkah sometimes?A: Jew-ish.
Q: What’s white and goes up?A: A confused snowflake.
Q: With Hanukkah upon us, how does a Jewish man prepare his tea?A: Hebrews it.
Q: What do snowmen put over their baby’s crib?A: A snowmobile.
Q: Who do penguins celebrate Hanukkah with?A: The Icebergs.
Q: What’s the best tool to help a snowman lose weight?A: Hairdryers.
Q: What’s the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?A: One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Mary goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Hanukkah cards one year. She says to the cashier, “Please may I have 50 Hanukkah stamps?”
The cashier asks, “What denomination?”Miriam says, “Oy vey, has it come to this? Okay, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”
Q: Why are there only 8 days of Hanukkah?A: Because 7 ate 9.
Q: How many Jewish Grandmas does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None, they’d rather sit in the dark and be depressed.
A latke gave his mother a gift.
As he did so, she said to him, “Awww, why are you so sweet?”He replied, “I guess that’s just the way I yam.”
Q: Which hand is best to light the menorah with?A: Neither, it’s best to light it with a candle.
Q: How can you recognize a Hanukkah hippie?A: He’s the one with his hair in dreidel-locks.
One Hanukkah, a Jewish husband said to his wife, “I think there’s something wrong with these latkes, dear. They taste awful.”His wife replied, “That shows you what you know. The recipe book says they’re delicious.”
Q: How much Hanukkah gelt did the skunk get?A: One cent.
Q: What’s the best Hanukkah gift for the person who has everything?A: A burglar alarm.
My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah.The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, “Aaron, what’s the matter? You didn’t like the other one?”
Q: What do you call a speck that falls into the latke pan?A: An unidentified frying object.
Q: Why don’t we eat clowns at Hanukkah?A: Because they taste funny.
Two menorahs are sitting in the window.
The first one says, “Wow, it’s getting hot with all these candles.”The second one says, “Woah, a talking menorah!”
Q: What’s the best thing to put into the sufganiyot?A: Your teeth.
Q: What did the candles say when the menorah complained about getting too hot?A: “Whoa, a talking menorah.”
One day, Benjamin went to buy some stamps to send out his Hanukkah cards.
He asked the clerk, “Do I have to stick them on myself?”The clerk replied, “Well, it’d be better if you stuck them on the envelopes.”
Q: What did the older Hanukkah candle say to the younger one?A: “You’re too young to smoke.”
Q: Why was the broom late to the Hanukkah party?A: It over-swept.
My mother once gave me two sweaters for Hanukkah. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one.As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, ‘Aaron, what’s the matter? You didn’t like the other one?’
I asked the waiter if my latkes would be long.He said, “No sir, they’ll be round.”
Q: How many potatoes does it take to make potato pancakes?A: A latke.
An old Jewish couple, Harry and Sadie, were married for 35 years but never got along…
…One day around this time of year, he says to her, “So? I suppose you’ll be wanting a Hanukkah present?”
She says to him, “Harry, I want a divorce.”Harry says, “I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Q: Why do you put candles on top of the menorah?A: It’s too hard to put them on the bottom.
The day after Hanukkah, a man walks into the doctor’s office. He has a banana stuck in one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear and a stick of celery up his nose.He says to the doctor, “Doc, this is awful. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies, “Well now the holiday is over, you need to start eating right.”
Q: What did the loaf of bread say to the other loaf of bread during Hanukkah?A: “Happy challah days!”
Q: Why did the dreidel go to the doctor?A: It kept getting dizzy spells.
Q: What’s the best reason to celebrate Hanukkah instead of Christmas?A: No roof damage from the reindeer.
Q: A little latke gave his mom a gift. “Aww,” she responded. “Why are you so sweet?”A: He replied, “I guess that’s just the way I yam.”
People who think “Hanukkah” is hard to spell…
have never seen “yarmulke” written down.
Q: What did the stamp say to the Hanukkah card?A: “Stick me and you’ll go places.”
The war on Hanukkah begins…if you forget to call your mom to wish her happy holiday.
Q: What’s a dreidel’s favorite song?A: “You Spin Me Right Round.”
Q: Who is a dreidel’s favorite musician?A: Dr. Dreidel!
Q: What did the little girl call her dreidel?A: Clay.
Roses are red
Violets are blueNothing rhymes with Hanukkah.
Q: What does Simba say to celebrate every Hanukkah?A: “Hanukkah matata!”
Q: Why did the boy put his Hanukkah money in the freezer?A: He wanted cold hard cash.
Tomorrow is the 4th night of Hanukkah presents.Or as Jewish kids call it, “Thanks for the socks, Mom & Dad.”
Q: What do you call it when Santa doesn’t bring you any gifts?A: Hanukkah.
Q: What’s green, spins round, and has wheels?A: A dreidel. I lied about the wheels.
A Guy Bought His Wife A Beautiful Diamond Ring For Hanukkah.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his says, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”“She did,” he replies. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”
Q: What do vegetables say to each other on Hanukkah?A: “Happea Hanukkah!”
Q: What do cows and horses light when celebrating Hanukkah?A: A ‘manure’-ah.
What is your favorite Hanukkah joke? Share with us in the comments so we can add it to the list!
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