Ready to be the Santa of attention? Then pull out these fun Santa jokes to make everyone laugh.
it’s that time of year when everyone is getting together and spending time together. Sometimes you need a little bit of an icebreaker to get people mixing and mingling. These Santa jokes are the perfect solution. But be careful; you may Claus quite a stir of laughter with these funny jokes.
Don’t worry! These Santa jokes are no Claus for concern because they are kid friendly and perfect for everyone to hear and enjoy! So keep your friends and family Claus this holiday season as you sit around with these funny jokes!
Check out this Santa Trivia for some more fun with Santa.
For more jokes, be sure to check out our elf on the shelf jokes and our elk jokes.
We ho ho hope you have a great Christmas this year!
Best santa jokes
- What’s Santa’s favorite fruit? (Sugar)plums.
- How did Santa respond when Mrs. Claus told him he forgot something from the store? “But I checked the shopping list twice!”
- Who automatically gets added to the naughty list? A rebel without a claus.
- Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
- Who’s Santa’s favorite singer? Elfish Presley.
- What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as she looked up at the sky? “Looks like rain, dear.”
- How do Santa’s clothes stay so clean? He washes them with (Yule)Tide.
- What is Santa’s dog’s name? Santa Paws.
- Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
- Why couldn’t Santa have cereal in the morning? All of his bowls were filled with jelly.
- What kind of drink does Santa give to naughty girls and boys? Coal-a.
- What was wrong with the Grinch on Christmas? He was feeling claus-trophobic.
- When Santa doesn’t want to do something, what does he say? “Snow thanks!”
- What’s the difference between a knight and Santa Claus? One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh.
- How do elves respond when Santa takes attendance? “Present!”
- Why is the alphabet in the North Pole different than the normal alphabet? The North Pole’s alphabet has noel.
- When someone delivers a package to Santa, what do they do? Ring the (jingle) bell.
- What breakfast do Santa and his wife like to eat together? Mistle-toast.
- What does Santa say on the night of Christmas? “Time to hit the sack!”
- What’s Santa’s go-to doughnut order? A jolly-filled doughnut.
- What do Santa’s elves use to help them walk in the slippery snow? Candy canes.
- Why was Santa having money problems? He was nickel-less.
- What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santa on his birthday? “Freeze a jolly good fellow!”
- Does Santa believe in fate? Yep, he thinks whatever happens is (orna)meant to be.
- What would Santa be called if he went down a chimney with the fire going? Crisp Kringle.
- Why did Santa and Mrs. Claus extend their garden? They love to hoe hoe hoe.
- Why wouldn’t you want to get into a fight with Santa? He has a black belt.
- What smells the most in Santa’s sleigh? Santa’s nose.
- What does Santa pack when he goes on a tropical getaway? A red suit.
- Anytime something happens that Santa can’t believe, what does he say? “That’s (chest)nuts!”
- What’s Santa’s favorite kind of roll? Carols.
- What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish.
- Why does Mrs. Claus love the Christmas season? It makes her feel so santa-mental.
- What’s Santa’s go-to fast food order?A frosty.
- What did the elves call Santa when he accidentally stepped on a bag of cashews? A nutcracker.
- What’s Santa’s favorite track and field event? (North) pole-vaulting.
- What do a tree farm and salon have in common? Trimmings.
- Where does Santa stay on vacation? A ho-ho-hotel.
- Who automatically gets added to the nice list? Anyone who cleans their chimney.
- What name does Santa use to check in at hotels on beach vacations? Sandy Claus.
- Whenever someone asks Santa for help with their Christmas tree, what does he say? “Fir sure!”
- What kind of weather is Santa’s favorite? Sweater weather
- How does Santa take care of sick people? He nurses them back to elf.
- How did Santa’s little helper stop eating cookies? He used elf control.
- What does Santa eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
- Where does Santa cash his checks? At the snow bank.
- What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.
- What did Santa name his pet frog? Mistletoad.
- What’s Santa’s favorite potato chip? Kringles.
- What do you get when you cross a duck with Santa? A Christmas quacker.
- What was one of Santa’s helpers called who kept making toys for himself? S-elf-ish.
- What goes “oh-oh-oh?” Santa walking backward.
- Why does Santa feel indebted to the elves? Because he’s an elf-made man.
- Why does Santa use the chimney? Because it soots him.
- What do Santa and Mrs. Claus play on game night? Reindeer games.
- What’s Santa’s favorite cereal? Corn (snow)Flakes.
- What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.
- What kind of bread did Santa make during quarantine? Gingerbread.
- How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house.
- Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of? Comet.
- Why is Santa scared of chimneys? Because he’s claus-trophobic.
- How you can tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.
- Why did Mrs. Claus get mad at Santa? Because her husband was a flake.
- What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
- What is Santa’s favorite part of baking cookies? Rolling out the dough-ho-ho!
- How did Santa do on the runway? He absolutely sleighed it.
- Why did Mrs Claus give up trying to find Santa? He was a lost Claus.
- What do they call rules in the North Pole? Santa C’Laws.
- Why doesn’t Kris Kingle believe in Santa? He thinks it’s all a Ho Ho Hoax.
- Why doesn’t Santa have to pay for parking his sleigh? Because it’s on the house.
- What do you call someone who is deeply afraid of Santa? Claus-trophobic.
- Why do some people think Santa is a ghost? Because he only reveals his presents once a year.
- What do you call it when Santa takes a break? A Santa Pause.
- Why did Santa need to get change for the parking meter? Because he was Saint Nickel-less.
- How does Santa take pictures? With his Pole-aroid camera.
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A “Holly” Davidson.
- Why did Santa go to the liquor store? He was looking for holiday spirits.
- What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
- How can Santa deliver presents during a thunderstorm? His sleigh is flown by raindeer.
- What’s St. Nicholas’s favorite measurement in the metric system? The Santameter!
- What’s red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
- What’s Santa Claus’s favorite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
- Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they’re Santa’s star bucks!
- What do you sing at Santa’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow!
- What does Santa say when he has a hard decision to make? I’m between a jingle bell rock and a hard place!
- Why was Santa forced to shut his grotto? He was being investigated by the Elf and Safety Executive!
- Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? No, they already have names!
- What’s the difference between a knight and Santa’s reindeer? The knight is slayin’ the dragon, and the reindeer are draggin’ the sleigh!
- Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee? He’s on a deery-free diet!
- What do call Father Christmas after he’s ran a marathon? Panta Claus!
- What does Santa use to bake cakes? Elf-raising flour!
- What’s red and white, red and white, red and white? Santa rolling down a hill!
- What is Santa’s sister called? Mary Christmas!
Santa Puns
- Sorry if I’m being a bit emotional – Christmas always makes me a little Santa-mental.
- Throw a little tinsel on me because let’s face it, I love being the Santa of attention.
- Always nice to see some festive repre-Santa-tion around the holidays!
- I’ve been eating a lot of milk and cookies this month, but don’t worry, it’s no Claus for concern.
- You know what they say – keep your friends Claus and your enemies closer…
- Sorry, you won’t see me near Santa this year. I’ve developed some severe Claus-trophobia.
- Oh you know me, always keen to Claus a stir!
- Since it’s Christmas, I found it most appropriate for me to be taking Santa stage this year…
- Someone please take my credit card away – I’ve been spending money left, right and Santa.
- Can someone please tell Santa to hurry up? I can’t be Saint Nick-less this year.
- I ho ho hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!
- Special delivery! I hope you don’t mind that I Santa you something special this year. Merry Christmas!
- I ho ho hope you have the best Christmas ever!
- Happy ho ho ho-lidays!
- All the best from my ho ho Home to yours.
- I know you hate being the Santa of attention, but I hope you enjoy this gift from me to you.
- I hope this gift hits Claus to home… Merry Christmas!
- I don’t usually like to be Santa-mental, but I’m so happy with what Claus friends we’ve become. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas.
- Blow ho ho’ing you lots of kisses this Christmas – hope you have a wonderful day!
- I Santa few gifts as a token of my appreciation, but just know that having you in my life is the greatest gift of all!
What are your favorite Santa jokes that we missed? Be sure to share them in the comments so we can add them to the list.
Want More Jokes Like These?
Looking for more kid-friendly jokes? Explore our full collection of family-safe jokes and puns that are perfect for laughs anytime.
Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. She is a certified Life Coach with her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer; Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.