Basketball jokes are a slam dunk when you need a quick laugh, whether you’re at practice, watching the game, or hanging out with kids who love to shoot hoops.
This list is packed with clean, kid-friendly basketball jokes that are perfect for:
- Players and teams
- Classrooms and PE teachers
- Families and basketball fans
From silly puns to clever wordplay, these basketball jokes are guaranteed to score laughs every time.
Top 10 Best Basketball Jokes
- What do you call a pig who plays basketball? A ball hog.
- What type of cheese do basketball players love? Swish cheese.
- Where is a basketball player’s favorite place to eat? Dunkin’ Donuts.
- Why are babies good at basketball? Because they’re always dribbling!
- Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to the game? Because he traveled a lot!
- Why did the chicken get ejected from the basketball game? Because there was so much fowl play!
- What lights up a basketball stadium? A basketball match!
- What violation do ghosts get called for the most? Ghoul tending.
- What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks? Alley Whoops.
- Why do basketball players love cookies and milk? Because they can dunk them!
Looking For More Laughs?
Looking for more kid-friendly jokes and screen-free laughs?
Check out our Jokes & Puns hub for printable joke cards, silly wordplay, and family fun you can use anytime. And to spark easy conversation, be sure to check out all our family conversation ideas that are perfect for every occasion.
Free Printable: Family Joke Cards
Need an easy way to get everyone laughing together?
These printable family joke cards are perfect for dinner time, car rides, or those moments when the conversation needs a quick spark. Just read one aloud and let the laughter start.
Basketball Puns + Wordplay
- What did the basketball say to its coach? “I can make the shot. I hoop you trust me.”
- How do you make a basketball angry? Give it a pump fake.
- Why were the basketball team’s jerseys full of static? They were out of bounce.
- What’s the first meal of the day called for basketball players? Fast breaks!
- Why was the basketball court wet? Because people were dribbling on it!
- Why are basketball players messy eaters? Because they’re always dribbling!
- What do you say when you miss a basket? Shoot!
- What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
- In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full? Basketball!
- Why did the basketball team join a craft club? They wanted to learn how to make baskets!
- What do you call a basketball that can’t stop spinning? A dizzy dunk.
- What do you call a basketball that’s on fire? A hot shot.
Fouls, Refs, Rules, and “Traveling” Jokes
Silly Player Jokes
- What do you call a shrimp that’s really good at basketball? Leprawn James.
- What do you call a basketball player who smells really good? Kevin Deodurant.
- Which basketball player works at a deli? Kobe Salami.
- What do you call a shark that plays basketball? A Sharq.
- What do you call a ninja who is good at basketball? A Kobe Shinobi!
- Did you hear about that bloody hilarious basketball team? The Hemoglobetrotters.
- Who was the poet of basketball? Longfellow.
- How do you know when it’s LeBron James’ birthday? Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.
Animal Basketball Jokes
- Frogs are good at basketball because of what? Jumping.
- Why don’t fish like basketball? They’re afraid of the nets.
- Why did the chicken get ejected from the basketball game? Persistent fowl play!
- What do an angry rabbit and an NBA player have in common? Mad hops.
- What is the favorite sport of a bass fish? Bass-ket-ball.
- Which are the best animals in basketball? A score-pion.
- Why did the ball hog fail his chemistry test? He didn’t like to pass.
Holidays, Bible, and Random “Silly” Jokes
- What is Santa’s favorite basketball team? The New York Old St. Nicks.
- Why does Jesus get nervous playing basketball? He’s afraid of getting crossed up.
- What did the devil-worshiping basketball player say? “Baal is life.”
- Why is Cinderella so bad at basketball? Her coach is a pumpkin.
- Why did the coach kick Cinderella off the team? She kept running away from the ball!
- Why do basketball players always fear the dark? Because they’re always shooting in the darkness.
- Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball? Because they are dead.
Classic One-Liners
- Why didn’t the nose make the basketball team? He didn’t get picked.
- What is harder to catch the faster you run? Your breath!
- What do you do when you see an elephant driving down the lane with a basketball? Get out of the way.
- How do basketball players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans!
- What do cheerleaders drink before a game? Root beer!
- What do hunters do with a basketball? They shoot it!
- What do you call a fantasy show about basketball? Hooper-natural.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move? Jump hook.
- Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot the ball!
Looking for more sports laughs? Don’t miss our soccer jokes, football jokes, and baseball jokes that are just as fun and family-friendly.
Team / Fan / NBA Roast-Style Jokes
- What does a Bulls fan do after watching his team win? Rewind the tape.
- What do Bulls fans do after Chicago wins the championship? Rewind the VHS tape.
- What does a Cavs fan do when his team wins the Finals? Turn off the Xbox One.
- What’s the difference between the Knicks and a dollar bill? You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
- What do you call a Knicks player with a championship ring? A senior citizen.
- What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV? The Minnesota Timberwolves.
- What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals? The Detroit Pistons.
- Did you hear the Atlanta Hawks don’t have a website? They can’t string three W’s together.
- What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common? Negative returns.
- What’s the difference between treasury bonds and OKC fans? Treasury bonds eventually mature.
- Why did Ron Artest leave the game early? He wanted to beat the crowd.
Time / Logic / Random Word Jokes
- Why doesn’t Albany have a pro basketball team? Because then NYC would want one too.
- If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be? Five after nine.
- What did March say to all the madness? What’s all that bracket?
- If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
- If a jockey wears jockey shorts and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear? Depends.
- Why hasn’t Europe ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Europe isn’t a country.
Free Joke Cards For Kids
Want easy laughs without thinking too hard?
Our Printable Joke Cards for Kids are perfect for:
- Dinner time
- Car rides
- Classrooms
- Family game night
Ready for More Laughs?
Basketball jokes are a fun way to bring teams, families, and classrooms together — no matter the score. Bookmark this list so you always have a joke ready for practice, game day, or halftime laughs.
And if your kids love sports humor, be sure to explore our other sports jokes and kid-friendly joke collections for even more smiles.
Basketball Jokes FAQs
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Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. She is a certified Life Coach with her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer; Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.