110 Duck Jokes That Make You Quack Up!

Last Updated on January 31, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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These eggcelent duck jokes will have the whole family quacking up! So gather everyone into the nest for a fine-feathered good time!

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Jokes are a great way to break the ice, cool the mood, or pass the time! 

Laughter is one of the best sounds in the world, and it’s good for you too. No need to wing it, because here’s a long list of the quackiest duck jokes! And don’t worry, no fowl play here – these jokes are appropriate for all ages! 
For more animal jokes, check out our Turtle Jokes and Chicken Jokes! Check out our animal riddles as well!

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white writing "110 best duck jokes" with 3 yellow squares with a duck jokes and answer in each square.

duck jokes

Yellow duckling on white background with blue border and duck joke
  • At what time does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
  • What do ducks say when people throw things at them? “Time to duck!”
  • What is a chick’s favorite drink? Peepsi.
  • What is the baby duck’s favorite game? Beak-a-boo.
  • What do you call a rude duck? A duck with a quackitude.
  • What do you call a bird that can fix anything? Duck Tape.
  • What did Detective Duck say to his partner? “Let’s quack this case!”
  • What did the lawyer say to the duck in court? “I demand an egg-splanation!”
  • What do you call a rude duck? A duck with a quackitude.
  • Why did the duck sleep under the car? Because he wanted to wake up oily.
  • What do you get if you cross a duck and Santa Claus? A Christmas quacker.
  • How can you tell rubber ducks apart? You can’t because they look egg-xactly the same!
  • What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes? “I hope I didn’t quack any!”
  • Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.
  • What do you call a cow and two ducks? Milk and quackers.
  • What do you call a cat that swallows a duck? A duck-filled-fatty-puss.
  • When is roast duck bad for your health? When you’re the duck.
  • Did you hear about the duck who thought he was a squirrel? That was one tough nut to quack.
  • If a duck says “Quack quack,” what says “Quick quick?” A duck with hiccups.
  • What do you call a clever duck? A wise quacker.
  • What did the duck say when the waitress came? “Put it on my bill!”
Animal joke on white background with blue border and picture of walking duck
  • Why do ducks check the news? For the feather forecast.
  • What happens when a duck flies upside down? It quacks up.
  • On what side does a duck have the most feathers? The outside.
  • What did the ducks carry their schoolbooks in? Their quack-packs.
  • Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
  • What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and chickens? Fowl weather.
  • What do you get when a duck bends over? It’s buttquack.
  • What kind of egg does a calm and collected duckling come from? Over easy.
  • Why do ducks fly south for the winter? It’s too far to waddle.
  • Why do ducks quack? Well, because they can’t oink, or bark.
  • Why did the duck get a red card in the football game? For fowl-play.
  • Where did the duck go when he was sick? To the ducktor.
  • What do you call a duck that steals? A robber ducky.
  • Two ducks were swimming in a pond. One of them said “Quack quack.” Then the other said, “Hey, I was about to say that!”
  • Why do ducks lay eggs? They would break if they dropped them.
  • Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck? Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes.
  • Why are ducks bad drivers? Their windshields are quacked.
  • What do you call a duck that loves fireworks? A fire-quacker.
  • What do ducks have with soup? Quackers.
  • What kind of TV shows do ducks watch? Duckumenteries.
yellow duck on white background with blue border and black words
  • How do ducks talk? They don’t they quack.
  • What type of food do you get when you cross a duck with a mole? Quackamole.
  • What do you call a duck with fangs? Count Duckula.
  • What’s a duck’s favorite ballet? The Nutquacker.
  • Why was the duck put into the basketball game? To make a fowl shot!
  • What did the duck say to the banker? “My bill is bigger than yours.”
  • Why did the duck go to the bank? She wanted to get more bills.
  • Why do ducks like campfires? They love seeing them quackle at night.
  • What do you call a crazy duck? A wacky duck!
  • Did you hear about the duck that swam into sewage? He smelled fowl.
  • Why do ducks say quack? Because it can’t say moo.
  • What happens if a duck with hiccups lays eggs? It lays scrambled eggs.
  • Most ducks live in what state? Duckota.
  • Why did the duck cross the road? He was tied to the chicken.
  • Why did the duck cross the road? To show the chicken how to do it.
  • What do duck physicists say? “Quark, quark.”
  • Two ducks were skipping down a sidewalk when, suddenly, one tripped and fell. It got up and said to the other duck, “I’m sorry — I tripped on a quack!”
  • What is a duck’s favorite sea monster? The quacken.
  • Why do ducks never grow up? Because they grow down.
  • What do mallards eat at a baseball game? Quacker-jacks.
Animal sports joke on white background with blue border and yellow duck
  • What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo? Quackodiles.
  • What do pre-teen ducks hate? Voice quacks.
  • What’d the duck say when he dropped his plate? “I hope I didn’t quack it!”
  • Why do ducks hate reading directions? They prefer to wing it.
  • What did the duck say to the corn it ate for lunch? You taste a-maize-ing.
  • What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond? Duck!
  • Why did the duck go to the bank? He wanted to get a new bill.
  • What do you get when you put four ducks in a box? A box of quackers.
  • Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a quack on the sidewalk.
  • Why did the duckling almost fall on the sidewalk? She tripped on a quack.
  • How do you get down off a horse? You don’t get down off a horse — you get down off a duck.
  • What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently? Portu-geese.
  • What do they say about French ducks? They have a certain je ne sais quack about them.
  • Chicken! Duck! Pheasant plucker! Oh, sorry — excuse my fowl language.
  • Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck? He avoids walking into a bar.
  • What game does a duck play at the bar? Bill-iards.
  • What did the cow and duck name their new rock band? Cheese and quackers!
  • How do you know if a duck is scared? He’s quacking in his boots.
  • Why didn’t the duck have any money? Because he already had a big bill.
  • Why did the duck get a second job? He had too many bills.
Animal joke on white background with blue border and yellow duck
  • Why did the duck end up in jail? He was selling quack.
  • There were no more clients for the duck doctor. Everyone knew he was a quack!
  • Why don’t ducks need smartphones? The web is already on their feet!
  • Where can you find pictures of duck feet? They’re on the webbed.
  • Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stomp out fires.
  • Why do elephants have big feet? To stomp out burning ducks.
  • What do you get if you cross a vampire, duck and a sheep? Count Duck-ewe-la.
  • A duck and a man are walking in a park. Suddenly, the man notices a frisbee flying in the air and yells “Duck!” The duck looks back at the man and yells “Man!”
  • What was the secret agent duck named? James Pond!
  • What is storytime called when you read to ducklings? Ducktales.
  • What do you call slang between young ducks? Ducklingo.
  • What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie? Lord of the Wings.
  • Why did the duck get detention? He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.
  • Did the duck couple make plans for their night out? No, they decided to wing it.
  • What’s a duck’s favorite vegetable? An eggplant!
  • What slogan did the geese use in their anti-duck propaganda? “Quack is wack.”
  • Why did the duck go to the chiropractor? To get it’s back quacked.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quack! Quack who? Quack open the door and you’ll see!
  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Duck! Duck who? Duck quick! My ball is heading toward you!
  • Why did the duck have to go to the auto shop? His windscreen was quacked!
  • Which musician do ducks listen to the most? Drake.
  • Did you ever hear about the poor duck who wanted plastic surgery for his face? He couldn’t afford the bill.
Doctor joke on white background with blue border and yellow duck
  • What does a duck say when they’re sick? They’re feeling under the feather.
  • What document did the duck politician write on his mouth? The bill of rights.
  • What is it called when a duck commits an illegal act in waterpolo? A water-fowl!
  • The duckling got grounded for his language. He had a fowl mouth.
  • How did the duck parents know their duckling was a prodigy? He was eggcelent from birth!
  • What fabric softener do ducks use? Downy!
Animal joke on white background with blue border and yellow duck

Do you have some favorite duck jokes? Share them in the comments so we can quack up with you!

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