101 Best Bird Jokes That Make You LOL

Last Updated on March 9, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Bird jokes are sure to make you laugh. So fluff up your feathers and prepare for a laughter-filled journey that will have you soaring with laughter.

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Ready to have your friends and family chirping with laughter? Well, then, look no further than these bird jokes. So get everyone together in one flock for some laughter and fun. So shake your feathers and dive into the world of fun feathery jokes that will have you tweeting with laughter.

For more jokes, be sure to check out our animal jokes and our Shark Jokes.

 
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Best bird jokes

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  • What did the bird text his girlfriend? “I’ve been thinking about you owl night.”
  • What did the eagle say when he got cold? “Burrrrrrd.”
  • What do you call a rude turkey? A jerk-ey.
  • What do you call an owl who was just caught committing a crime? A spotted owl.
  • A bird stole my snack. You know what I said? “Toucan play at that game.”
  • Did you hear the owls having a party last night? Sounded like a real hoot.
  • What’s the difference between chickens and turkeys? Only the chickens celebrate Thanksgiving.
  • Who is the penguin’s favorite relative? Aunt Arctica.
  • What do you get when you cross a duck with fireworks? A firequacker.
  • What do you call an owl who’s all mixed up? Low.
  • What did the turkey say when he forgot to study for his test? “I’ll just wing it.”
  • What do you get when you cross an owl and an oyster? Pearls of wisdom.
  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? If they flew over the bay, they’d be called bay-gulls.
  • What does the turkey say when he’s using the computer? “Google google!”
  • Why did the owl join Tinder? He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
  • What side of a turkey has the most features? The outside.
  • I published a book about birds. It flew off the shelf.
  • What’s green and pecks on trees? Woody the Wood Pickle.
  • What kind of bird runs the church? A cardinal.
  • What did the turkey say to the hunter? “Quack, quack, quack!”
  • My best friend was diagnosed with bird flu. He swears it was fowl plague.
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  • What’s an owl’s favorite kind of book? Hoooot-dunnit?
  • How do chickens stay fit? They egg-cersize.
  • What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygone.
  • My friend wanted to have an eagle for a pet. I said, “Don’t you know that’s ill eagle?”
  • What do you call a bird who wins Jeopardy? A know-it-owl.
  • What did the dad turkey say to his stubborn child? “If your mother could see you now, she’d be turning over in her gravy.”
  • Why does the flamingo stand on one leg? If it lifted both legs, it’d fall over.
  • I got into a fight with a bird while I was down south. I have no egrets.
  • Did you hear about the crow on the telephone pole? He wanted to make a long-distance caw.
  • What does the one-legged turkey say? Wobble wobble!
  • What kind of crime are you committing when you attack a bird? A featheral offense.
  • What do you call a medieval bird? A knight owl.
  • What did the duck eat with his soup? Quackers.
  • What do you call it when chickens play hide and seek? Fowl play.
  • Did you hear about the sad bird? He was a bluebird.
  • Why can’t turkeys go to church? They use fowl language.
  • What do flamingos do at parties? They flamingle.
  • What do you call a bird with a black belt? Steven Seagull.
  • What kind of bird doesn’t need a home? A bald eagle.
  • What do you call a criminal raven? A caw-nvict.
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  • What’s a bird’s favorite game? Beak-a-boo!
  • I know a bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big. He was ostrich-sized.
  • What do you get when you cross a flamingo with a Beatle? Flamingo Starr.
  • What did the canary say when his cage broke? Cheep cheep cheep.
  • My homing pigeon died. I’m worried it will come back to haunt me.
  • What do you get when you cross a parrot with a pigeon? Voice mail.
  • What kind of bird can carry the most weight? A crane.
  • What kind of birds get locked up? Jail birds.
  • What did the magician penguin say? “Pick a cod, any cod!”
  • What do you call an owl who can time travel? Doctor Hoo.
  • I came home to find a bird had broken in and destroyed all my stuff. He used a crowbar.
  • Why do turkeys hate baseball? The fowl balls and bastes really stress them out.
  • What do you give a sick bird? Medical tweetment.
  • What do you call an owl who does magic tricks? Hoodini.
  • Where do crows go to get drunk? A crow bar.
  • What birds spend all their time on their knees? Birds of prey.
  • What’s a bird’s favorite addition to his salad? Crowtons.
  • What do you get when you cross a parrot and a centipede? A walkie-talkie.
  • What is a turkey’s favorite type of tree? A poul-tree.
  • What do you call an over-caffeinated turkey? A perky turkey.
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  • What’s smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
  • What do retired birds do for fun on the weekends? They play flabingo.
  • What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.
  • What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark? A bird that bites your ear off.
  • What do turkey’s use to drink from? Gobble-lets.
  • What’s the opposite of a flamingo? A flamin-stop.
  • What is a crow’s least favorite show? That’s So Raven.
  • Where does bird royalty live? Duckingham Palace.
  • What do you get when you cross a bird with a lawnmower? Shredded tweet.
  • What do you call a turkey that’s bad at bowling? A gutter ball turkey.
  • What do you call it when a canary flies into a pastry dish? Tweetie pie.
  • What kind of math do snowy owls like? Owlgebra.
  • Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
  • What do you call a crate of ducks? A box of quackers.
  • The owl outside seems very sick, but he’s not letting it bother him. He said he couldn’t give a hoot.
  • When’s the best time to buy a bird? When it’s going cheep.
  • How many cans do you need to make a bird? Two cans.
  • What kind of bird can you buy at the grocery store? A kiwi.
  • My bird can predict the future. He’s an omen pigeon.
  • What do you call a woodpecker with no beak? A headbanger.
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  • Which bird is always out of breath? A puffin.
  • Why do turkeys make bad baseball players? They only hit fowl balls.
  • What language do geese speak? Portugeese.
  • What’s the turkey’s favorite Halloween costume? A gobble-in.
  • What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
  • What do you call it when an owl has an upset stomach that makes him grumpy? Irritable owl syndrome.
  • How do penguins make a decision? Flipper coin.
  • Where do birds invest their money? The stork market.
  • Why did the pelican get kicked out of the fancy restaurant? He had a massive bill and no money to pay.
  • What’s a parrot’s favorite game? Hide and speak.
  • What do you call a funny duck? A real wise-quacker.
  • What do you call a young bird after he publishes his first book? A fledgling author.
  • What bird robs you while you bathe? A robber duck.
  • Have you heard of the GPS device they made for bird watchers? It has tern by tern directions.
  • What soap do birds use? Dove.
  • What do you call a sarcastic turkey? A smirky turkey.
  • What do you get when you teach a turkey witty comebacks? A turkey who roasts you.
  • How does a bird with a broken wing land safely? It uses a sparrowchute.
  • Why do hummingbirds hum? They don’t know the words.
  • How do blackbirds stay together in a flock? Velcrow.
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Do you have some other bird jokes that have you tweeting with laughter? Share them with us in the comments so we can laugh too!

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