Looking for the best jokes for kids? We are sharing 250+ of the best jokes that are clean and family-friendly! No more cringing during the punch line with these jokes! Best of all you can grab our free printable jokes cards for even more laughs!
Jokes are so fun for kids! I love listening to kids’ laughter as they tell each other jokes! Coming up with jokes though can be challenging. That is why we are so excited to be sharing over 250 jokes for kids! These are fun, light-hearted, and kid-friendly. While these may even be a little cheesy, there is one thing we can guarantee, these jokes are all super appropriate for kids from ages 2 to 99 because trust me, we have all been there before cringing at the punch line of an inappropriate joke your kids stumble upon.
So be sure to bookmark this page of kid-friendly jokes and refer to it often because it is a safe place for your kids to keep coming back to as they look for more jokes to memorize. Don’t forget to check out our Fall jokes, Halloween jokes, Christmas jokes and Spring Jokes while you are at it!
Do your kids love jokes? Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These are perfect for lunch box jokes, joke cards series, bedtime laughs, and more! Grab them now!
The best Jokes for Kids
Q: How do all the oceans say hello to each other?A: They wave!
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?A: I’ll meet you at the corner!
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear!
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?A: Nacho cheese!
Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?A: To the moo-vies!
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?A: Ground beef!
Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?A: Lean meat!
Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?A: A pork chop!
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: What animal needs to wear a wig?A: A bald eagle!
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?A: A walk!
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?A: Because they use honeycombs!
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?A: An investigator!
Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?A: Because she will let it go!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?A: Frostbite!
Q: What has four wheels and flies?A: A garbage truck!
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?A: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?A: Because it had so many problems!
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?A: Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
Q: If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring?A: Pilgrims!
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?A: A bulldozer!
Q: What did the zero say to the eight?A: Nice belt!
Q: Why do sharks swim in saltwater?A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?A: Right where you left him!
Q: Where do fish keep their money?A: In the river bank!
Q: Why did the gum cross the road?A: It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
Q: What is brown and sticky?A: A stick!
Q: Why did the picture go to jail?A: It was framed!
Q: How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?A: Your head hits the ceiling!
Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?A: Because they take too long to iron!
Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?A: Take away her credit card!
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself different colors?A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
Q: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?A: By the footprints in the butter!
Q: What is the difference between elephants and grapes?A: Grapes are purple.
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?A: “Here come the elephants!”
Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming?A: “Here come the grapes!” (She was colorblind.)
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?A: To get to the other slide!
Q: What can you catch but not throw?A: A cold!
Q: What has hands but can’t clap?A: A clock!
Q: What do you call a dog that can tell time?A: A watch dog!
Q: What did one hat say to the other?A: Stay here, I’m going on ahead. (going on a head)
Q: What side of a turkey has the most feathers?A: The outside!
Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?A: The snow!
Q: Why did the teacher put on sunglasses?A: Because her students were so bright!
Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?A: Shocked!
Q: Why do strings never win a race?A: Because they always tie!
Q: What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?A: Sneakers!
Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?A: A power plant!
Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing in the choir?A: Because she was a little horse!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the nurse?A: Because he felt crummy!
Q: What kind of room doesn’t have doors?A: A mushroom!
Q: What did one plate say to the other?A: Dinner is on me!
Q: How do you make a lemon drop?A: Just let go of it!
Q: Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q: What does an evil hen lay?A: Deviled eggs!
Q: Which hand is better to write with?A: Neither. It’s better to write with a pencil!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the truck?A: Don’t look! I’m changing!
Q: What is the witch’s favorite school subject?A: Spelling!
Q: What did the frog order for lunch?A: A burger and a diet croak!
Q: Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert?A: Because she was stuffed!
Q: What do you call a fly without wings?A: A walk.
Q: Why should you never trust a pig with a secret?A: Because it’s bound to squeal.
Q: What do cows order from?A: Cattle-logs!
Q: What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers?A: Kids don’t eat broccoli!
Q: What kind of haircuts do bees get?A: Buzzzzcuts!
Q: How can you tell if someone is a good farmer?A: He is outstanding in his field!
Q: What do you call a man with a shovel?A: Doug.
Q: How do mountains stay warm in winter?A: Snowcaps
Q: Why can’t a person’s nose be 12 inches long?A: Because then it would be a foot!
Q: What has a ton of ears but can’t hear a thing?A: A corn field.
Q: What do you call the horse that lives next door?A: Your neighbor!
Q: Why did the man put sugar on his pillow?A: He wanted to have sweet dreams!
Q: Why did the computer sneeze?A: Because it had a virus!
Q: What do you call two banana peels?A: A pair of slippers!
Q: What do you call a cow who gets her way all the time?A: Spoiled milk!
Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath?A: With experi-mints!
Q: What is a computer programmer’s favorite snack?A: Computer chips!
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?A: Because they don’t know the words!
Q: What do you call a mad elephant?A: An earthquake!
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?A: Because it’s too far to walk!
Q: What do you get on every birthday?A: A year older!
Q: Why should you not talk to circles?A: Because there is no point!
Q: Why is it dangerous to play cards in the jungle?A: Because there are so many CHEETAHS! (cheaters)
Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?A: With a pumpkin patch!
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?A: Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Q: How many apples grow on a tree?A: All of them!
Q: What’s gray and goes round and round?A: An elephant in a washing machine!
Q: Why can’t an egg tell a joke?A: It will crack up!
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?A: In case he got a hole in one!
Q: What do fish play on the piano?A: Scales!
Q: Where do hamburgers go dancing?A: A meat ball!
Q: How do billboards talk?A: Sign language!
Q: What do snakes like to study in school?A: Hissss-tory!
Q: What kind of music do balloons hate?A: Pop music.
Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?A: A blueberry!
Q: What do you call a cow that can’t moo?A: A milk dud.
Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?A: A stick
Q: What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?A: Thunderwear.
Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?A: Dill with it.
Q: What time is it when the clock strikes 13?A: Time to get a new clock.
Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?A: It goes through a jarring experience.
Q: What did one toilet say to the other?A: You look a bit flushed.
Q: What do you think of that new diner on the moon?A: Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?A: Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.
Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?A: A tuba toothpaste.
Q: Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?A: Because she wanted to go to high school.
Q: What do you call a dog magician?A: A labracadabrador.
Q: Where would you find an elephant?A: The same place you lost her.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?A: Act like a nut.
Q: What do you call two birds in love?A: Tweethearts
Q: How are false teeth like stars?A: They come out at night.
Q: What building in your town has the most stories?A: The public library.
Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?A: Finding half a worm.
Q: What did one volcano say to the other?A: I lava you.
Q: How do we know that the ocean is friendly?A: It waves.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?A: Twister.
Q: How does the moon cut his hair?A: Eclipse it.
Q: How do you talk to a giant?A: Use big words.
Q: What animal is always at a baseball game?A: A bat
Q: What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?A: That hit the spot.
Q: Why did the kid cross the playground?A: To get to the other slide.
Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?A: R2 detour.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?A: Because he felt crummy.
Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?A: Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
Q: What did the little corn say to the mama corn?A: Where is pop corn?
Q: How do you make a lemon drop?A: Just let it fall.
Q: What did the limestone say to the geologist?A: Don’t take me for granite.
Q: Why does a seagull fly over the sea?A: Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
Q: What kind of water can’t freeze?A:Hot water
Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?A: A palm tree.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?A: A dino-snore
Q: What is fast, loud and crunchy?A: A rocket chip.
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?A: Between us, something smells.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
Q: When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?A: Because when you find it, you stop looking.
Q: What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?A: A coconut on vacation.
Q: What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?A: Hoppy Birthday.
Q: What’s the one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?A: A year older.
Q: Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?A: Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.
Q: What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?A: They both need a good batter.
Q: What goes up but never comes down?A: Your age
Q: What does every birthday end with?A: The letter Y.
Q: What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?A: It’s roar birthday.
Q: Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?A: She wanted to ice it.
Q: Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?A: No, they both burn shorter.
Q: Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer?A: It was a pound cake.
Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?A: Because it had more cents.
Q: Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated?A: Because it’s never right.
Q: Why is six afraid of seven?A: Because seven eight nine.
Q: Why was the equal sign so humble?A: Because he wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
Q: What do you call guys who love math?A: Algebros.
Q: How do you stay warm in any room?A: Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.
Q: Why was the fraction nervous about marrying the decimal?A: Because he would have to convert.
Q: Are monsters good at math?A: Not unless you count Dracula.
Q: Why was the math book sad?A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: Why does nobody talk to circles?A: Because there’s no point.
Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?A: She was a little horse.
Q: What was the first animal in space?A: The cow that jumped over the moon.
Q: Why don’t elephants chew gum?A: They do, just not in public.
Q: What did the banana say to the dog?A: Bananas can’t talk.
Q: How do you make an octopus laugh?A: With ten-tickles.
Q: How do you fit more pigs on a farm?A: Build a sty-scraper.
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?A: An udder failure.
Q: What do you call a cow that won’t give milk?A: A milk dud.
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?A: Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?A: Spoiled milk.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?A: The North Poll
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?A: Ouch!
Q: Why did the snake cross the road?A: To get to the other ssside.
Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?A: Because they’ll just wash up on shore later.
Q: What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea?A: He got marooned.
Q: How did the pirate get his flag so cheaply?A: He bought it on sail.
Q: What has 8 legs, 8 arms, and 8 eyes?A: 8 pirates
Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?A: About a buck an ear.
Q: What is a cat’s favorite color?A: Purrr-ple.
Q: What song does a cat like best?A: Three Blind Mice.
Q: Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?A: To the mew-seum.
Q: What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?A: A first-aid kit.
Q: Why are cats good at video games?A: Because they have nine lives.
Q: What did the cat say when he fell off the table?A: “Me-ow.”
Q: What is the difference between a cat that got photocopied and a cat that follows you?A: One is a cat copy; the other is a copy cat.
Q: What do you get when you cross a ball and a cat?A: A fur ball.
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?A: A cat-alogue.
Q: What cat likes living in water?A: An octo-puss.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?A: His heart wasn’t in it.
Q: How does a vampire start a letter?A: Tomb it may concern…
Q: What is a monster’s favorite dessert?A: I scream.
Q: What monster plays tricks on Halloween?A: Prank-enstein.
Q: What kind of music do mummies love?A: Wrap music.
Q: What fruit do scarecrows love the most?A: Straw-berries.
Q: What does a witch use to do her hair?A: Scarespray.
Q: What room does a ghost not need?A: A living room.
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?A: A blood hound.
Q: What is a ghost’s nose full of?A: Boo-gers.
Q: Are black cats bad luck?Are black cats bad luck?A: Sure, if you’re a mouse.
Q: What do you call two witches living together?A: Broommates.
Q: Why did the zombie skip school?A: He was feeling rotten.
Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?A: A blood orange.
Q: What instrument does a skeleton play?A: The trom-bone.
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?A: Day-scare centers.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?A: Because he had no body to go with.
Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?A: Recess pieces.
Q: How do ghosts wash their hair?A: With sham-boo.
Q: What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?A: Spelling.
Q: What’s big, scary and has three wheels?A: A monster on a tricycle.
Q: Why don’t vampires have more friends?A: Because they are a pain in the neck.
Q: What position does a ghost play in hockey?A: Ghoulie
Q: What do you give a vampire when he’s sick?A: Coffin drops.
Q: What kinds of pants do ghosts wear?A: Boo-jeans.
Q: Who isn’t hungry at Thanksgiving?A: The turkey—he’s already stuffed.
Q: Can a turkey jump higher than Mount Everest?A: Yes, because a building can’t jump at all.
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?A: The outside.
Q: What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?A: The letter g.
Q: What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?A: The tur-key.
Q: Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?A: In the dictionary.
Q: Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down?A: Because they wore their belt buckle on their hat.
Q: What key won’t open any door?A: A turkey.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?A: It was the chicken’s day off.
Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?A: It was stuck on the turkey’s foot.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?A: To show he wasn’t a chicken.
Q: What do you get when a turkey lays an egg on top of a barn?A: An eggroll.
Q: Why was the turkey the drummer in the band?A: Because he had drumsticks.
Q: What’s the best thing to put into pumpkin pie?A: Your teeth.
Q: What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?A: The turkey trot.
Q: Why did the Pilgrims sail from England to America?A: Because they missed their plane.
Q: When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?A: On their feet.
Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?A: They suspected it of fowl play.
Q: What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?A: A har-vest.
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?A: Their age.
Q: Where do you find a turkey with no legs?A: Where you left it.
Q: What do you call it when it rains turkeys?A: Foul weather.
Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?A: To hatch-et.
Q: What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?A: Plymouth Rock.
Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?A: Your nose.
Q: Why do turkeys always say, “gobble, gobble”?A: Because they never learned good table manners.
Q: What do elves learn in school?A: The elf-abet.
Q: How does a snowman lose weight?A: He waits for the weather to get warmer.
Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?A: Do you smell carrots?
Q: What do you call a reindeer with bad manners?A: Rude-olph.
Q: Why does Santa work at the North Pole?A: Because the penguins kicked him out of the South Pole.
Q: What falls at the North Pole and never gets hurt?A: Snow
Q: How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?A: Fleece Navidad.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?A: It needed to be trimmed.
Q: What is an elf’s favorite kind of music?A: Wrap music.
Q: What kind of photos do elves take?A: Elfies.
Q: What do road crews use at the North Pole?A: Snow cones.
Q: Why did Rudolph get a bad grade on his report card?A: Because he went down in history.
Q: What wears a red suit and goes, “Oh, oh, oh”?A: Santa walking backwards.
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?A: In a snow bank.
Q: What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with a computer?A: A pine-apple.
Q: In what year does New Year’s Day come before Christmas?A: Every year.
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What kind of motorcycle does Santa like to ride?A: A Holly Davidson.
Q: Why are Christmas trees bad at sewing?A: Because they always drop their needles.
Q: What do you get when Santa becomes a detective?A: Santa clues.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?A: He was having a bad hare day.
Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?A: With a hare dryer.
Q: How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?A: Lots of eggs-ercise.
Q: Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12 inches long?A: Because then it would be a foot.
Q: How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?A: Just look for the gray hares.
Q: What do you call a bunny who isn’t smart?A: A hare brain.
Q: What’s the best way to catch a unique rabbit?A: Unique up on him.
Q: What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?A: They lived hoppily ever after.
Q: What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?A: A receding hareline.
Q: Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke?A: It might crack up.
Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?A: Heard any good yolks lately?
Q: What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?A: A funny bunny.
Q: What is a rabbit’s favorite dance?A: The Bunny Hop.
Q: What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?A: 14 carrot gold.
Q: How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?A: Only one because after that, it’s not empty.
Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?A: Bugs Bunny.
Q: Why did the Easter egg hide?A: He was a little chicken.
Q: Why did the robber jump in the shower?A: He wanted to make a clean getaway.
Q: What kind of shoes do robbers wear?A: Sneakers.
What are your favorite jokes for kids? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!
You can Never Have Too Many Jokes! Complete List of Awesome Jokes!
- The Best Jokes for Kids
- Lunch Box Jokes
- Funny Lunch Box Jokes
- Earth Day Jokes for Kids
- Bear jokes for Kids
- Birthday Jokes
- Fall Lunch Box Jokes
- Halloween Lunch Box Jokes
- Thanksgiving Lunch Box Jokes
- Hanukkah Jokes for Kids
- Christmas Lunch Box Jokes
- Spring Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
- Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
- Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
- Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards
- Airplane Jokes for Kids
- Fish Lunch Box Jokes + Printable Cards
- Apple Jokes
- Banana Jokes
- Bowling Jokes
- Pig Jokes
- Bacon Jokes
- Lemon Jokes
- Road Trip Jokes
- Camp Jokes
- The Best Graduation Jokes
- Water Jokes for Kids
- Dinosaur Jokes
- Donut Jokes
- Candy Jokes for Kids
- Computer Jokes for Kids
- Clown Jokes for kids
- Monkey Jokes for Kids
- Crab Jokes for Kids
- Turtle Jokes for Kids
- Ninja Jokes for Kids
- Hockey Jokes for Kids
- Turkey Jokes
- Ghost Jokes
- Football Jokes
- Pumpkin Jokes for Kids and Adults
- Skeleton Jokes
- Cow Jokes
- Halloween Jokes for Kids
- Disney Jokes for Kids
- Elk Jokes
- Robot Jokes
- Lighthouse Riddles, Jokes and Puns
- Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
- Santa Jokes
- Elf on the Shelf Jokes
- Christmas Tree Jokes
- Snow Jokes
- Reindeer Jokes
- Christmas Jokes
- Elf Jokes
- Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
- Chicken Jokes
- Dad Jokes
- Cat Jokes
- Duck Jokes
- Chemistry Jokes
- Dog Jokes
- Guess Who Jokes
- New Years Jokes
- Winter Jokes
- Snowman Jokes
- Best Knock Knock Jokes
- Flirty Knock Knock Jokes
- Husband Wife Jokes
- Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend
- Jokes to Tell a Girl
- Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush
How Do I access my free printables?
Fill in the form above. You will receive an email in your inbox. If you don’t see it, check your spam folder! You will then click to confirm your subscription. Once confirmed, you will be sent an email with your free printable.
How Do I Print a PDF?
You’ll need a program that supports PDFs. Adobe Acrobat is a great option. Open the program, click File, then print. Select your printer and the number of copies you want to print. Be sure you click double-sided if you want it to print on both sides.
Can I resell these?
You may not resell any printable found on our website or in our resource library. You may use them for class parties, at church, at home, or in the classroom. You may get these printed at an office supply store or copy center at your own expense.