100+ Spooktacular Halloween Jokes for Kids

Last Updated on February 5, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Kids love Halloween, why not make it even more exciting with these spooktacular Halloween Jokes for Kids! When it comes to Halloween kids love the spook, the scare, and the candy, but why not take it one step further with fun Halloween jokes and Halloween Lunch Box jokes to make your kids even more excited! Pair these with even more great jokes like pumpkin jokes as well. So scroll on down for some good laughs this Halloween season.

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You are going to love these Halloween jokes! They are kid-friendly and clean! Thankfully with these jokes, you won’t be on pins and needles praying that the punch line isn’t cringy. So help your kids memorize these jokes so that they can tell them to all their friends, family members, and teachers so everyone can get a good laugh.

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Halloween Jokes for Kids

  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to prom? He had no body to go with.
  • Why can’t Dracula play baseball? He lost his bat.
  • What do you call a witch at the beach? A Sand-witch
  • How do you open the door to a haunted house? With a skeleton key.
  • What do skeletons fly around in? A scareplane
  • Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all? The Village People
  • What do black cats like to eat on hot days? Mice cream cones.
  • Why don’t mummies take the day off? They don’t want to unwind.
  • What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal? Rice Creepies
  • What’s it like being kissed by a vampire? It’s a pain in the neck.
  • Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To have spare rib.
  • Why do ghosts pick their noses? To get the boo-gers!
  • How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
  • What did the girl horse dress up as for Halloween? A night mare.
  • What do witches put on to go trick or treating? Mas-scare-a.
  • What Halloween candy is never on time for the party? Choco-LATE!
  • What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires? Fangs-giving!
  • When do skeletons laugh? When something tickles their funny bones.
  • How do vampires get around on Halloween? On blood vessels.
  • How do you fix a broken Jack-O-Lantern? With a pumpkin patch!
Green and purple owl with a Halloween joke and an orange border
  • What song do vampires hate? You Are My Sunshine!
  • Why did the Headless Horseman go into business? To get ahead in life!
  • Why do spiders great baseball players? They know how to catch flies!
  • Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank.
  • When do you see the most zombies? On a Halloween
  • Who do witches call for breakfast while on vacation? Broom service.
  • What’s orange and faster than a speeding train? Super Pumpkin.
  • What is Frankenstein’s favorite summertime food? Frankenfurters
  •  How do you tell if vampires love baseball? They turn into bats.
  • What happens when two vampire bats meet? Love at first bite!
  • What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween? Candy corneas.
  • What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!
  • Which of the witch’s friends was good at baseball? The bat.
  • What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day? A lazy bone.
  • What Halloween candy should you give trick-or-treaters if you want them to think you’re rich? A 100 grand candy bar
  • What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
  • Where do celebrities go on Halloween?  Mali-BOO!
  • What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
  • What kind of music do mummies like most? Wrap Music
  • What does vegan zombies eat? Graaaains
Girl in a pumpkin costume with a Halloween joke and an orange border
  • What happens when a vampire goes in the snow? Frost bite!
  • What is a recess at a mortuary called? A Coffin Break!
  • What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi
  • What do moms dress up as on Halloween? Mummies!
  • What do demons eat for breakfast? Deviled eggs
  • What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy? “Trick-or-feet!”
  • Why was the broom late? It was over swept.
  • Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road safely? The crossing gourd.
  • Why did the zombie skip school? He felt rotten.
  • What’s the best way to get rid of a demon? Exorcise a lot.
  • Why do skeletons stay so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
  • What type of plants do well on all Halloweens Eve? Bam-BOO!
  • Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with? His ghoul-friend.
  • Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin!
  • What did the little boy say when she had to choose between a tricycle and candy? Trike or Treat!
  • How does a scarecrow drink his juice?   With a straw.
  • How does a vampire enter his house? Through the bat flap!
  • What kind of test do vampires give their students? Blood tests.
  • What goes “Ha-ha-ha-ha!” right before a gigantic sounding crash and then keeps laughing? A monster laughing it’s head off!
  • Where do ghosts buy their Halloween treats? At the ghost-ery store!
Witch with a Halloween joke and an orange border
  • What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters? Booberries!
  • Why did the werewolf go to the dressing room when he saw the full moon? He needed to change.
  • Who was the best dancer at the Halloween party? The Boogieman.
  • Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop!
  • Why don’t people like Dracula? He cause a pain in the neck.
  • What do you call two witches sharing an apartment? Broommates.
  • When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat? If you are a mouse.
  • Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat? Boo jeans.
  • What is big, scary, and has three wheels? A monster riding a tricycle!
  • Why are there fences around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
  • What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging? You never know which witch is which!
  • Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?  Because of his coffin.
  • How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? At night he turns into a bat.
  • Why didn’t the skeleton cross the street? He didn’t have any guts.
  • What does it take to become a zombie? A Deadication
  • What is the first sign your house is haunted? Your sheets are missing.
  • Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles? Because their brains scooped out!
  • What do owls say when they go trick or treating? “Happy Owl-ween!”
  • What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
  • Who won the skeleton beauty contest?  No body
Bat Halloween bucket with a Halloween joke and an orange border
  • Why did the vampire read the newspaper? Because it had great circulation.
  • What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? The house was repossessed.
  • Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day-scare.
  • Where is the best place to party on Halloween? The g-RAVE-yard.
  • What does a vampire’s favorite fruit to eat? A neck-tarine.
  • How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? At night he turns into a bat.
  • What sound do witches make when they eat cereal? Snap, Cackle & Pop!
  • What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost as they drove down the street? Buckle your sheet belt!
  • What did the fisherman say on Halloween? Trick or trout.
  • What did the bird say on Halloween?  Twick or tweet.
  • What do you call a mummy eating in bed? A crummy mummy.
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? They have no-body to go with.
  • He skeleton couldn’t help being afraid of the storm— He just didn’t have any guts.
  • What do you call a fat pumpkin? A plumpkin.
  • Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story? Because so many plots there!
  • Why did the Headless Horseman get a job? He was trying to get ahead in life
  • Why did the vampires cancel the baseball game? They could not find their bats!
  • Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation? At the Dead Sea!
  • Where do fashionable ghosts shop? Bootiques
  • Why did the baby wrap itself in white cloth strips?  It was just trying to be just like its mummy.
  • Why did the skeleton climb up the tree? Because a dog was after his bones!
Two bats and a moon with a Halloween joke and an orange border

Don’t forget to share your favorite Halloween jokes in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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