100+ Shelltastic Crab Jokes For Kids

Last Updated on May 28, 2022 by Michele Tripple

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Where do crabs keep all your money? At the sandbank! If you love this joke, then grab the crabcake and start telling these crab jokes for kids that are surely going to make you take some “shellfies” as you are laughing!

feature image: crab jokes for kids with a laughing crab

Jokes are one of my favorite ways to connect with my kids. No matter their mood or mine we always end up laughing. These crab jokes for kids are shelltastic. We always pair them with our birthday jokes for kids and our airplane jokes for kids.

These jokes won’t make you crabby because they are guaranteed to not make you pinch out of embarrassment because they are clean and wholesome! So go ahead and start crab-walking while telling these awesome jokes.

Do your kids love jokes? Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh all the time! These are perfect to use as lunch box jokes, joke cards series, bedtime laughs, and more! Grab your set now! We are always adding more to the collection! Please note, every time we add a set of joke cards to this collection we will email you the newest collection. Grab them now before the price increases!

pin image: crab jokes for kids with a laughing crab

The Best Crab Jokes For Kids

Q: Why did the crab keep all of the seaweed to itself?

A: Because it was shellfish!
Crab Jokes For Kids question: Why did the crab keep all of the seaweed to itself?  A: Because it was shellfish! on orange background

I asked the waiter, “Do you serve crabs here?”

He said, “Take a seat. We serve everybody.”

Q: Did you hear about the crab that went to the gym?

A: He pulled a mussel!
 
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Q: What do you call a crab in self-isolation?

A: A hermit crab!

It’s ironic how my aunt died given that her zodiac sign is cancer.

She was killed by a giant crab.

Q: What is the best job for a crab?

A: A crab driver!

Q: What does a hermit crab call its home?

A: Michelle!

Q: How do crabs evade taxes?

A: They set up shell corporations.

Q: What do you call a crab that throws things?

A: A lobster!

Q: Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread?

A: Too many crabs.
Crab Jokes For Kids question: Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread? A: Too many crabs. on brown background

Q: Why do crabs never give waiters a tip?

A: Because they’re shellfish!

Q: Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs?

A: Santa Claws!

Q: Why are the Jedi against dissolving crustaceans in acid?

A: Only a Sith deals in crab solutes.

Q: Why was the hermit crab embarrassed?

A: Because the sea weed!
 
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Q: Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?

A: King’s Crustacean!

Q: How does a crab feel when it eats too much?

A: Clawful!

Q: Where do crabs and lobsters save all of their money?

A: In a sea bank!

Q: What would a crab do with a smartphone?

A: Take lots of shellfies!

Q: How do crabs get around on land?

A: They use the sidewalk!

Q: What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?

A: A shell-met!
Crab Jokes For Kids question: What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear? A: A shell-met! on brown background

Q: What party game do crabs like to play?

A: Salmon says!

Q: What do crabs do on their birthday?

A: They shellabrate!

Q: What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?

A: A cup of crab-uccino!
 
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Q: How to crabs call their friends?

A: On a shell phone!

Q: Why do crabs never give to charity?

A: Because they’re shellfish!

Q: Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

A: To a prawn broker!

Q: Why didn’t the crab and lobster share their food with the octopus?

A: Because they are shellfish!

Q: Why don’t crabs like basketball?

A: Because they are afraid of the net!

Q: What do crabs need to stay healthy?

A: Vitamin Sea!

Q: What is a crab’s favorite fruit?

A: Crab apples!
Crab Jokes For Kids question: What is a crab's favorite fruit? A: Crab apples! on orange background

Q: How do you know when a crab has had too much fizzy drink?

A: It starts to walk in a straight line!

Q: Why was the crustacean unhappy?

A: Because his mum was being really crabby!

Q: Why is the sand so quiet?

A: Because the waves keeping going “Ssshhhhhhh!”
 
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Q: How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food?

A: Just a pinch!

Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A:  A Crab!

Q: How could the crab afford to buy a new house?

A: He prawned everything!

Q: Why did the crab get bad grades?

A: Because it was below C level!

Q: Why did the crab blush?

A: Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!

Q: How does a crab go when it’s right?

A: Snap!
Crab Jokes For Kids question: How does a crab go when it’s right? A: Snap! on orange background

Q: Why did the crab cross the road?

A: To get to the other tide!

Q: Where do crabs sleep?

A: In water beds!

Q: What did the wandering crab say when it finally made its way back to the ocean?

A: Long time no sea!

Q: What lives in the ocean, is grumpy and hates its neighbours?

A: A hermit crab!

Q: What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?

A: It-piers we have a problem!

Q: What does a lobster say when he’s confused?

A: Can you please be more pacific?!

Q: What does the crab say when she’s disagreeing with the lobster?

A: I don’t quite sea it that way!

Q: How does the crab answer the phone?

A: “Shello?!”
 
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Q: What do you call a crab who is afraid of small spaces?

A: Claw-strophobic!

Q: How do crabs leave the hospital?

A: On crotches!
Crab Jokes For Kids question: How do crabs leave the hospital?A: On crotches!  on orange background

Q: What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived?

A: Leonardo da Pinci.

Q: What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job?

A: A side hustle!

Q: How did the limpet cross the river?

A: She took a taxi crab.

Customer, holding a crab under his arm: “Waiter, waiter, do you make crab cakes?”

Waiter: “Yes, we sure do.”

Customer: “Good, because it’s his birthday.

Q: Where do crabs sleep?

A: On the sea bed.

Q: What did the prawn say to the crab steering the ship?

A: “Ay, ay, Crabtain!”

Q: What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza?

A: A crust station.

Q: Why did the crab cross the road?

A: To get to the other tide.

Q: What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?

A: “Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!

Q: Where do crabs save all of their money?

A: In a sand bank.
Crab Jokes For Kids question: Where do crabs save all of their money? A: In a sand bank. on brown background

Q: What would a crab do with an iPhone?

A: Take lots of shellfies.

Q: Why did the musical crab move to New York City?

A: It wanted to star in the crabaret.

Q: What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza?

A: That crust taste, son!

Q: Did you hear the crab president’s speech?

A: It was really crabtivating.

Q: Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs?

A: Crabon.

Q: Why do crabs do poorly in school?

A: They have a limited vocrabulary.
 
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Q: What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday?

A: Crab cake.

Q: How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served for dinner?

A: They were really steamed.

Q: What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home?

A: A Kermit crab.

Q: Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport?

A: The Bustacean.
Crab Jokes For Kids question:Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport? A: The Bustacean. on brown background

Q: What does the crab president call his trusted advisors?

A: His Crabinet.

Q: What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp?

A: “You have to abide by the claw.”

Q: Why did the crab decide to follow the Keto diet?

A: Crabohydrates made it bloat.

Q: What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef crab a crab?

A: “Oh, buddy — he’s in hot water now.”

Q: What do you call a frugal crab?

A: A penny pincher.

Q: What’s a crab’s favorite song?

A: “Don’t Worry; Be Crabby.”

Q: Why did the crab get fired?

A: Because he was not moving the company forward.

Q: Why did the ocean roar?

A: Wouldn’t you if there were crabs underneath you?
 
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Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Crab.

Crab who?

Crab me a snack please!

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Water.

Water, who?

Water you waiting for?! Let’s go crabbing!
Crab Jokes For Kids: Knock Knock. Who’s there? Water. Water, who? Water you waiting for?! Let’s go crabbing! on orange background

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Ivan.

Ivan who?

Ivan awful headache after reading all these crab puns!

Crab Puns

  1. I think you’re clawsome!
  2. Feel the pinch.
  3. Just beclaws I love you.
  4. Have a crab-u-lous day!
  5. Let’s get cracking!
  6. Let’s all clam down shell we?!
  7. The truth shell set you free!
  8. Fishing for compliments.
  9. In a pinch!
  10. Seek and you shell find!
CCrab Puns: Seek and you shell find! on orange background
  1. I’m just crabbing!
  2. Please crab me a glass of water!
  3. I shrimply don’t like shellfish!
  4. The lobster is one shell of an animal!
  5. I’d give you my best one liners here, but I’m too shellfish!
  6. A good crab joke is hard to crack!
  7. Don’t bother me today, I’m feeling a little bit crabby!
  8. Life just seems to be two steps sideways then one step back!
  9. Crabs are bad at learning a new language because they never care about the vo-crab-ulary!
  10. You should never make friends with crabs because they’re all so crabby!
Crab Puns: You should never make friends with crabs because they’re all so crabby! on orange background
  1. The crab is telling jokes, but nobody laughs because they are all crabby jokes!”.
  2. A great bit of advice from a hermit crab: “It’s ok to come out of your shell and think outside the box!”
  3. I used to look for shellfish at my local beach every day, until one day I pulled a mussel!
  4. Crabs always add a pinch of salt to their meals!
  5. I pulled a muscle today, I stayed clam!

Do you know some other awesome crab jokes for kids? Share them in the comments so that we can add them to the list!

You can Never Have Too Many Jokes! Complete List of Awesome Jokes!

Kid Jokes

Adult Jokes

 
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