100+ Best Shark Jokes that Are Fin-Tastic [Free Joke Cards]

Last Updated on February 3, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Ready to reel in some big laughs? Dive right into the hilarious toothy world of shark jokes. Whether you are enjoying shark week and want some good laughs or a shark is your favorite animal you are sure to navigate the treacherous waters with a ton of good laughs.

a shark  on half the image with a blue background on the left with a white oval with a brown border with a image of a smiling shark and brown writing "the best shark jokes"

Jokes are the perfect way to break the ice among friends and family. And we fin-ally have some of the best shark jokes and puns for all the shark lovers. So grab your life jackets and your snorkels and dive into the world of hilarious shark jokes. Just be careful to not drown in giggles as these jokes are sure to tickle your fin.

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Best Shark Jokes

shark joke with a blue shark turning with a knick in its dorsal fin with a blue border.
  • What do sharks use before attacking surfers? Sun Scream.
  • Why don’t sharks like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!
  • What did the deaf, dumb and blind shark excel at? Finball.
  • Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!
  • Do you like sharks? Because I got a megladong.
  • Who gives sharks presents on Christmas? Santa Jaws!
  • Why won’t sharks eat clowns? They taste funny!
  • What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman? Frostbite.
  • What kind of shark likes to gamble? A card shark.
  • What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show? Shark Trek.
  • I saw a shark singing “You can’t touch this”. Think it was MC Hammerhead.
  • My friend challenged me to write a joke about hammerhead sharks. Pretty sure I nailed it.
  • Where do sharks go on vacation? Fin-land.
  • Which sharks do you find in heaven? Angel sharks.
  • Who is the most famous shark writer? William Sharkspeare.
  • What should you do if you see a shark? Swim away.
  • What’s a shark’s favorite game? Hide and go eat!
  • What do you call the mushy stuff between a great white shark’s teeth? Slow swimmers.
  • I was at the beach yesterday when I saw a man swimming in the sea despite the shark warnings. He duly got attacked by a shark and lost a leg.
  • I bet he’s kicking himself now.
  • What is the shark world’s favorite Macintosh web browser? Jawvari.
shark joke with grumpy white and gray shark with blue border.
  • What was the shark jazz musician’s favorite illegal substance? Reefer!
  • It’s my ambition to see a great white shark before I die. Just not RIGHT before I die.
  • What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys? It got lockjaw.
  • Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus? Because he knew the octopus was well-armed.
  • What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts? Shark absorbers.
  • What does a shark eat for dinner? Whatever it wants!
  • Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef? To get to the other TIDE.
  • Why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced? They no longer loved each other.
  • Wanna hold my eel? Pay me a visit and you’ll have it all day long.
  • What would happen if I dropped a shark on thin ice? It would melt just like you melt my heart.
  • How did the crazy shark become normal again? Electro shark therapy.
  • Why did the street sharks get arrested? Dorsal profiling.
  • What did the street shark say when something radical happened? JAWESOME.
  • Why doesn’t anybody like the stand-up comedy of Margaret Shark? She bites!
  • What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark? An animal that talks your head off.
  • What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
  • Where can a fish borrow money? From a loan shark!
  • How do you make a shark laugh? Tell a whale of a tale.
  • What did the shark say after he was accused of eating a human? Not gill-ty!
  • What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
shark joke with shark who's mouth is open about to bit something with a blue border.
  • What do you call two sharks who get married? Hooked for life!
  • What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark? Do not consume if the seal is broken!
  • What happened to the shark when he got famous? He became a starfish!
  • What does a shark like to watch on TV? Anything but Flipper.
  • What is a shark’s favorite bible story? Noah’s SHARK.
  • What was the shark’s favorite James Joyce novel? Finnegan’s wake.
  • Why did the shark throw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly!
  • Why did the shark commit suicide? He was tired of feeling like he was swimming in circles.
  • Who was the first shark elected president of the United States? James K. Shark.
  • Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? Professional courtesy.
  • What did the shark say to the plate of sushi? Pleased to eat you!
  • What was the shark’s favorite Orson Welles movie? Citizen Kane-i-kokala.
  • What was the nerd shark’s favorite programming language? Jaw-va.
  • What did one shark say to try to comfort a friend who had just gotten out of a relationship? It’s ok there are plenty of other birds in the sky.
  • What do yuppie sharks like to drink? Jaw-va.
  • What’s the Great White Sharks’ favorite candy? The Jaw-Breaker!
  • What did one shark say to the other after eating a clownfish? Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.
  • What is a shark’s favorite smell? Human blood.
  • Heard about the man with chronic dandruff who was attacked by a shark? They found his head and shoulders on the beach.
  • What do you get when you cross a shark with a parrot? An animal that will talk your head off!
shark joke with shark fin on two wiggly lines that represent water with a blue border.
  • What does a shark say when it sees something cool? That’s jaw-some!
  • Did you hear about the shark attack victim that lost her left arm and left leg? No?
  • Well, she is all right now.
  • There’s a little-known, but foolproof defense against sharks. Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet.
  • The wife has just been attacked by a shark. In fairness, I probably shouldn’t have taken the loan out in her name.
  • What is the difference between a cucumber and a shark attack? One is a pickle you can make, the other is a pickle you can’t escape.
  • Why can’t sharks play flutes properly? Because they don’t have a tuna.
  • Did you hear about the man you set up a shark fishing school in Australia? It cost him an arm and a leg.
  • I went to a Halloween party dressed as a shark… The novelty is wearing a little fin!
  • I have been alone shark all my life. Meeting you tonight makes me want to become your fish in the sea.
  • Last night I thought I was being chased by a shark. This morning, I realised it was just a bream.
  • Going to make a film about a shark visiting a Scottish sea monster. Loch Jaws.
  • Why do sharks not like oysters? They’re shellfish.
  • What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make? Chews wisely.
  • What do sharks order at McDonald’s? A quarter flounder with cheese!
  • Why won’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
  • How much does it cost to swim with sharks? An arm and a leg!
  • Why can’t most sharks and whales read? They are not part of a school.
  • What do you call the stuff that gets stuck in a shark’s teeth? Slow swimmers!
  • What did the mummy shark say to her child? Watch your sharkastic tone!
  • What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework? His shark ate it!
shark joke with a smiling shark with four white dots on its belly with a blue border.
  • What does a happy shark say? Have a FIN-tastic day!
  • Why’d the fish swim right into the bull shark’s mouth? He was a dumb bass.
  • What sort of fish operates on poor sharks? A sturgeon.
  • Had to swim away from a shark the other day in my swimming trunks. No idea how he got into them.
  • What do a shark and a computer have in common? They both have megabytes.
  • Did you hear about the pregnant woman bit by a shark? She hopes it’s a buoy.
  • How do sharks share memes? On the finternet.
  • Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  • Why do great white sharks chase after Superman in the ocean? Because he has a seal on his chest.
  • What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth? The slow swimmer.
  • What’s the weird fleshy thing between a shark’s teeth called? A surfer.
  • Why are sharks so untrustworthy? Because they tell great white lies!
  • Where do lonely Sharks go to find companionship? Sand Bars.
  • My friend is a real shark in the business world. He made a killing in Fin-Tech.
  • What do Sharks have on their toast? Mermalaid.
  • Why do sharks eat underwater internet cables? They were advised to have more fiber in their diet.
  • Why do sharks have teeth? For eating porpoises.
  • What do sharks serve their guests at parties? A sharkcuterie.
  • How did the hammerhead shark do on his test? He nailed it.
  • What Do You Call a Burger Made by a Hammerhead Shark Man? A BigMaccus.
shark joke with a blue shark turning with a knick in its dorsal fin with a blue border.
  • What’s Thor’s favorite animal? The Hammerhead shark.
  • What do you call a Hammerhead Shark who’s operating a Drill Rig? A Flathead Screw driver.
  • Did you hear about the shark’s ghost? It vanished into fin air!
  • Hey girl, are you a royal shark? Because I can’t stop fin-king about you.
shark joke with a smiling shark with four white dots on its belly with a blue border.

Do you have some other favorite shark jokes? Be sure to share them in the comments so we can laugh too!

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