110 Hockey Jokes For Kids That Are Keepers

Last Updated on January 31, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Ready for some jokes that are real keepers? These hockey jokes for kids are sure to be the winning goal without getting you called for any penalties.

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When it comes to getting your kids to laugh sometimes it can be pretty tricky. That is why we love jokes and when we combine that with their love for hockey these hockey jokes for kids are a winning combination. So go ahead and shoot for the stars with these jokes that even the goalie will laugh at!

Don’t worry these hockey jokes won’t send you to the penalty box because they are clean and wholesome and won’t make you get a red card around your mom and dad! So go on and share these jokes with all your hockey friends.

 
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The Best Hockey Jokes For Kids

Hockey goal with brown border and hockey joke.
  • What is the difference between wrestling and hockey? The fights are real in hockey.
  • My friends and I visited Canada for the first time. We got into a fight, and a hockey game broke out.
  • What made the short-tempered coach of the hockey team so frustrated when he opened his email? He had so many forwards.
  • Have you seen the hockey player who visited the bank? He said he wanted to give out more checks.
  • What happened on the charter flight? All the hockey players were seated according to the position they play; one of them almost froze to death on the left-wing.
  • Heard about the professional ice hockey player who switched his profession to become an accountant? He got an off-ice job.
  • From where do hockey players get their hockey uniforms? New Jersey.
  • Do you know that hockey players love drinking tea? Their most favorite one is penal-tea.
  • Why does the hockey rink get hot after the game? All the fans left.
  • Which animal is really good at playing hockey? A score-pion.
  • What position would Luke Skywalker play if he was on the Star Wars hockey team? X-Wing.
  • Why was the hockey player arrested and taken to jail? They say he shot the ball.
  • Heard about the ghostbuster who was signed to the hockey team? He is great at blocking ghouls.
  • What hockey position did the ghost play in? He played as a ghouli.
  • How are hockey players paid? With a check.
  • Why do people say that carpenters can not play hockey? They always get nailed to the boards.
  • Why do hockey players avoid dressing up for Halloween? Because they have to take their face-off.
  • What was the only thing constant in the Ottawa Senators Stadium during the mid-2000s? There was always a ‘Pizza Line’ there.
  • Why was the young hockey player not able to play in the school music band? He broke his trombone.
  • What happened to the hockey player who was demanding money? They gave him a check.
  • Why are stand up comedians so good at playing forward? They are always prepared with their hockey shtick.
Hockey stick with brown border and hockey joke.
  • Why do they say that Canadians are better than Germans at the game of hockey? Canadian people have their ‘eh’ game while Germans bring their wurst.
  • What is the reason that the hockey NHL players never sweat during a match? Because all the stadiums have lots of fans.
  • When do hockey players wear formal attire? When it is a tie game!
  • What would you call the former amateur hockey players who has regrets for not playing the game professionally? Wayne Regretzky!
  • What makes the defeated hockey team and scrambled eggs similar? Both are beaten up real bad.
  • Do you know why the magician was selected as a forward on the local hockey team? The coach was impressed by his hat-tricks.
  • Why Cindrella was bad at hockey? Because she learned it from a pumpkin.
  • Why was the dog who was playing hockey put in the penalty box? He got 2 minutes for ruffing.
  • What is the similarity between a game of hockey and an airboat? Loud fans.
  • What is the reason that the ice hockey rink has curved corners? Because if they were square with an angle of 90 degrees, the ice would simply melt.
  • What is the similarity between a goldfish and an ice hockey player? The only way one can get their attention is by tapping on the glass.
  • Who was the famous sitcom character who loves hockey? It is none other than Stanley from ‘The Off-ice.’
  • How are hockey players so good at making new friends? They know how to break the ice real quick.
  • Were you watching the hockey match last night? It was like the perfect icing on the cake.
  • Why can’t a pig play hockey? They hog the puck.
  • What did a goalie say to the puck after the game of hockey? “Catch you later, mate.”
  • Where do retired hockey players prefer working? At the bakery, as they are good at icing the cakes.
  • Do you know something funny happened last night? We were watching a wrestling match, and a game of hockey broke out!
  • What does an Eskimo hockey player love to eat? Ice berg’ers.
  • Why was the hockey player sent to the penalty box? After numerous icings in a hockey game, he needed time to thaw out.
Hockey player with brown border and hockey joke.
  • What happened when a bunch of friends decided to go to the hockey game? Everyone agreed it was too far, and they will have to put that idea on ice.
  • What happened when a hockey player bumped into another player on the ice? One broke one of his teeth, but it was acci’dental.
  • What was the coach’s reaction when it was announced that the team’s starting goalie would not be able to join the game due to a peanut allergy reaction? “That’s nuts.”
  • What do you call a dad and son duo invited over for dinner at the hockey coach’s home? It was the Father, the Son, and the goalie host.
  • Why could the shoe shop owner not find the right sized shoe for a hockey player? It was a square foot.
  • Why are sparrows good at playing ice hockey? Because they are excellent at ‘chirp’-ing.
  • Why was the ice hockey player always going to the convenience store in the middle of the game? Because he had a grocery stick.
  • What did the ice hockey player say to his wife on the phone? Take care, icy you later.
  • In an interview, the famous goalkeeper’s wife was asked, “Why should one date a goalie”? She replied, “Because he’s a keeper.”
  • Why had they stopped the zombie hockey game? They said someone had a face-off in the corner.
  • Do you know about the hockey player who could not listen to music? Because he broke a record.
  • What happened when hockey legends Jean Ratelle, Rod Gilbert, and Vic Hadfield started to tell a joke? They soon reached the GAG line.
  • Do you know the secret behind the fitness of New Jersey Devils hockey players? They say it is exorcising.
  • What did Rick Martin, Rene Robert, and Gilbert Perrault have in common while playing hockey? They had a French connection.
  • Why Cinderella could not be on the field hockey team? She had a habit of always running away from the ball.
  • What is the similarity between a dentist and a field hockey coach? They both use drills!
  • Why do field hockey players always carry an extra pair of shoelaces? In case they want to tie the score.
  • Why did the hockey player climb on the tree with his hockey stick? He wanted to join the maple leafs.
  • Heard about the hockey player who was ice-fishing? He got run over by the Zamboni.
  • What happened to the Zamboni driver? The local hockey rink reported he went missing; they hope he resurfaces soon.
Hockey goal with brown border and hockey joke.
  • Do you know the skeleton who drove to see the Hockey game? The skeleton had reached the stadium in his Zam-bony.
  • Why are former hockey players Buzz Schneider, John Harrington, and Mark Pavelich so good in geometry? This is because they were ConeHeads!
  • What was the zombie doing at the hockey rink? He was there to take the ride on zombieoni.
  • What’s a hockey player’s favorite Italian pasta? Zam’roni.
  • How was Stan Lee an outstanding hockey player? When he went to his very first hockey practice, he already had the Stanley Cup.
  • Heard about the monkey who won the Stanley Cup? They say he is a chimpion.
  • What was on the menu for the winning hockey team? Stanley Cupcakes.
  • What do the New York Rangers and the Titanic have in common? They look good until they hit the ice.
  • What would a field hockey striker say on Halloween? Hat Trick or Treat!
  • What do you call a rapper’s dog playing ice hockey? Scoop Dogg.
  • Do you know who ZZ Top’s favorite hockey players were? Travis Zajac, Zach Parise, and Jamie Langenbrunner.
  • Have you heard old people saying that they used to watch ice hockey before it was cool? Were they basically swimming?
  • Have you heard what they say about hockey players? They say they are known for their summer teeth; some are here, some are there.
  • What did the captain of the ship say to the hockey player who was using the rowboat? Bobby Orr.
  • Why dragons are not allowed to play ice hockey? They might melt the ice with their firey breaths.
  • Why had the businessman failed to acquire a hockey stadium? His real estate agent could only give him a ball-park estimate.
  • Which hockey players can not be trusted? Anyone on the Devils.
  • What is the similarity between Buffalo Sabres and grizzly bears? They go into hibernation every fall.
  • How many NHL players can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, because a crossbar can’t jump!
  • What did the player say to his coach when he was teaching him a new playing strategy? Oh, icy!
  • What happened to the new ice hockey player, whose performance was not up to the mark? He got cold feet.
  • Heard about the young ice hockey player accidentally got locked in the men’s room? He was ice-o-lated.
  • Why were so many track marks on the ice of the hockey rink? The maintenance authority must be slipping up.
  • What was the hockey player’s reaction when he accidentally slipped and fell on the ice? He gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Hockey player with brown border and hockey joke.
  • What were the two NHL players talking about? One of them said, “I had a great ice hockey joke, but it slipped my mind.”
  • What did the coach say to the new hockey player? I have my ice on you.
  • What did the hockey player said to his fan? Icy that you have great taste.
  • What did the Zamboni say to the hockey player? Ice to meet you.
  • What is the perfect gift for someone who plays hockey? How about an ice cap?
  • What are your views regarding the new playing strategy used by the hockey team at today’s match? Well, I must say, it was a really well thawed out plan.
  • Why it is advised not to crack jokes while playing ice hockey? The ice might crack up.
  • What is the similarity between music and ice hockey game? If a person doesn’t C sharp, the person will B flat.
  • What happened when the ice hockey referee made a wrong decision? The team wanted just-ice.
  • What is an ice hockey fan’s favorite dessert to eat while watching a horror movie? An I-scream.
  • Why did the horse go to the hockey trials? He misheard it and thought it was jockey trials.
  • What did the enforcer said to the hockey team? Just checking.
  • What if potato chips companies launch air hockey? It would just be air and less hockey.
  • What happened at the party last night? A Canadian friend of mine, was at the party where a hockey game that broke out.
  • Why was a surgeon included in the local hockey team? The team management was impressed by his bury-hat-trick operations.
  • What is the name of the comedic trio that Detroit Red Wings fans love with all their heart? The name is Monty Babcock’s Flying Circus.
  • Hockey players are like goldfish. The way we get their attention is to tap on the glass.
  • Why did the refs stop play in the Washington Capitals game? Kuznetsov.
  • If Lays had invented air hockey… it would be just air!
  • Who is ZZ Top’s favorite hockey player? Gordie Howe Howe Howe Howe.
  • Why is the Hockey Hall Of Fame situated in Toronto? So that Leafs fans can remember what a Stanley cup looks like.
Hockey player with brown border and hockey joke.
  • Do you know why Jesus stopped playing hockey? Kept getting nailed to the boards.
  • What do you call a hockey player in a wheat field when it’s raining? Grayne Wetzky
  • I went to a hockey store and asked an employee if they had any cheap skates. They sent me to the managers office.

Do you have more hockey jokes for kids to share? Share them in the comments and we can add them to the list!

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