This post contains affiliate links. If you click and buy we may make a commission, at no additional charge to you. Please see our disclosure for more details.
As summer vacation comes to an end, it’s time to head back to school. While the transition from lazy summer days to early mornings and homework can be tough, it doesn’t have to be all serious, especially when you throw in these fun back to school jokes.
One of the best ways to make the return to school a little more enjoyable with back to school jokes! From puns to one-liners, there are plenty of funny jokes to get everyone in the mood for learning. These jokes are perfect for the excited kids to make them more excited or to help your anxious kids feel less anxious.
We have some of the best back to school jokes to help you start the school year off with a laugh. So, whether you’re a student, teacher, or parent, get ready to chuckle with these hilarious back to school jokes!
Do your kids love jokes? Grab these fun joke cards for them to laugh at all the time! These are perfect for lunch box jokes, joke cards series, bedtime laughs, and more! Grab them now!
back to school jokes
Q: On the first day of school, what did the teacher say her three favorite words were?
A: June, July, and August
Q: Why did the echo get detention the first day?
A: It kept answering back
Q: Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day?
A: It kept going back four seconds
Q: What is a snake’s favorite subject?
A: Hiss tory
Q: What did the Buffalo say at school drop-off?
A: Bison
Q: Why do calculators make great friends?
A: You can count on them
Q: What did the triangle say to the circle?
A: You’re pointless
Q: Why does the math book always look sad?
A: They are full of problems
Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: One says “spit out that gum!” the other says “chew, chew, chew”
Q: Where does a surfer go to school?
A: Boarding school
Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi
Q: Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes
Q: What did the math book say to the history book?
A: Boy, I’m full of problems
Q: Where do kids in New York learn multiplication tables?
A: Times Square
Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?
A: What’s your point?
Q: What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
A: Square meals
Q: Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
A: Because he swept her off her feet
Q: Why did the kid eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake
Q: Where do pencils go on vacation?
A: Pencil-vania
Q: What room can a student never enter?
A: A mushroom
Q: What does a book do when it gets cold?
A: It puts on a jacket
Q: Why is glue bad at math?
A: It always gets stuck on the problems
Q: Why did the kid cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide
Q: Children in what grade have the greenest thumbs?
A: Kindergarden
Q: Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
A: He wanted to test the water
Q: What is the smartest bug?
A: A spelling bee
Q: What did the spider make online?
A: A website
Q: What flies around the school at night?
A: An alpha-bat
Q: Why can’t you do a math test in the jungle?
A: Because there are too many cheetahs
Q: What did the bully have for lunch?
A: A knuckle sandwich
Q: What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A: A bookworm
Q: Why did the M&M go to school?
A: Because it really wanted to be a smartie
Q: Why didn’t the sun go to college?
A: Because it already had a million degrees
Q: Why does a teacher wear sunglasses?
A: Because her students are so bright
Q: What’s the king of school supplies?
A: The ruler
Q: How do you get straight A’s?
A: By using a ruler!
Why are you late for class, Peter? Because of the sign on the road? What sign, Peter?
School Ahead. Go slow!
Q: Why is history the sweetest subject?
A: Because it’s full of dates
Q: Why did the boy steal a chair from the classroom?
A: Because the teacher told him to take a seat
Q: What happened when the teacher tied all the kid’s shoelaces together?
A: They had a big class trip
Q: How do you make seven even?
A: Take away the ‘s’
Q: Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
A: They keep getting lost at C
Q: Why don’t fish go on vacation?
A: Because they’re always in a school
Q: Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
A: Because then it would be a foot
Q: What’s big and yellow that comes every morning to brighten your mom’s day?
A school bus
Q: What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
A: Someone you can always count on
Q: Why did the kid study on an airplane?
A: He wanted a higher education
Q: Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
A: To stay in shape
Q: What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A: A synonym roll
Q: What did the ghost teacher say to his class?
A: Watch the board, and I’ll go through it again
Q: Why did the student bring scissors to school?
A: Because he wanted to cut class
Q: What do you call a student with a dictionary in his pocket?
A: Smartie pants
Q: How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
A: Her keys were on the piano
Knock! Knock! Who is there? Teddy! Teddy who?
Teddy (today) is the first day of school!
Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Jess! Jess Who?
Jess (just) wait till I tell you about my first day back to school!
Do you have some other back to school jokes that make you laugh? Share them in the comments so we can laugh too!
You can Never Have Too Many Jokes! Complete List of Awesome Jokes!
Fill in the form above. You will receive an email in your inbox. If you don’t see it, check your spam folder! You will then click to confirm your subscription. Once confirmed, you will be emailed your joke cards.
How Do I Print A PDF?
You’ll need a program that supports PDFs. Adobe Acrobat is a great option. Open the program, click file then print. Select your printer and the number of copies you want to print. Be sure you click double-sided if you want it to print on both sides.
Can I Resell These?
You may not resell any printable that you find on our website or in our resource library. You may use them for class parties, at church, at home, or in the classroom. You may get these printed at an office supply store or copy center at your own expense.
We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.