175 Best Biology Jokes

Have you ever wondered what a cell says during its existential crisis? Maybe, “I’ve got organelle issues!” Alright, alright, I promise these biology jokes get better from here. When it comes to biology, things can get a bit… cellular, genetic, and sometimes downright ribosome-splitting hilarious!

So, brace yourselves because we’re about to dive deep into the wild world of biology jokes, a place where DNA stands for “Do Not Assume,” and it’s not just another science subject.

Whether you’re a fan of mitosis or meiosis (yes, they’re different, and yes, there’s a joke in there somewhere), or if you’ve ever pondered the comic side of photosynthesis, you’re in the right place. Biology isn’t just about life’s mysteries; it’s also about the giggles in between the genomes.

Before we dive in, a little disclaimer: side effects of these jokes may include sudden bursts of laughter, spontaneous snorts, and an uncontrollable urge to share them with your friends.

And if you don’t find them funny… well, maybe you’re just a mutation! JK. While you are at it, be sure to check out more jokes like our chemistry jokes as well.

The Best Biology Jokes

Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?
They had no chemistry.
Where would one find genes retired from the human genetic pool?
In an old folks genome.
Are you made of Copper and Tellurium?
Because you are Cu-Te.
How were the two protein structures able to remain friends for so long?
They had a peptide bond.
We just hired a new molecular biologist.
Wow, isn’t she small?
Biology professor: “Hello, class. Today we will be learning about the liver and the pancreas.”
Biology student: “Ugh, I hate organ recitals.”
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
Romeostasis.

Ants never get sick. They have little anty bodies.
Biology is important…
Its a matter of life and death!
Why was the biologist broke?
Because he was sporely paid.
What did the cell say when he ran into the table?
Mitosis!
What was the pirate’s favorite amino acid?
Arrrrrrr-ginine.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
As an itsy bitsy book.
Where do hippos go to university?
Hippocampus.
How do marine invertebrates pay for their beer?
With bar-nickels.

This is no time for jokes, guys. Let’s B. cereus.
Why wouldn’t the scientist go into the haunted house? He was too petrified.
What do mushrooms like to do at parties? Get hyphae.
How many zygotes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2 n’ 4 poles.
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can’t hear an enzyme.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel? That’s a moray.
What musical instrument do biologists play? Organs
What is it called when a can of Pepsi washes up on a beach? A Peptide
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? “I like your ‘style.’”
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
Why can’t a plant be on the dark side of the Force? Because it can’t make food without the light!
An interesting paradox: Noses run but feet smell.
Is there a big difference between male and female anatomy? Yes, a vas deferens.
I wish I was adenine… Then I could get paired with U.
What do other plants do when one of their plant friends is sad? Photosympathize.

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it, and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
A couple of biologists had twins… They named one Jessica and the other Control.
What did one brain say to another? I lobe you.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who visited 30 different countries and spoke 6 languages? He was a man of many cultures.
If you’ve ever wondered how biologists contact each other? They use their cell phones.
What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated.
Mycologists are the most virtuous scientists. They’re all obsessed with morels!
We be-lung together. Aorta tell you that I love you!
What did one bacteria say to the other bacteria? Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
What do you call a well-traveled microbiologist who speaks several languages? A person of many cultures
What’s the difference between a puppy and a marine biologist? One wags a tail while the other tags a whale.
Why don’t dendrochronologist’s get married? They only date trees. (Dendrochronology is a scientific method of dating tree rings)
I am not sure who is carbon dating, but I will find it out soon and let you know.
A black bear and a white bear jump into a pool at the same time, which one dissolves first? The white one, because it’s polar!
Why did the bird go to the doctor? To get a tweetment.

Bowel, n. Letters like A, E, I, O, or U.
Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye. I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.
What do you call a cab that provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Why didn’t anyone want the biologist’s new book? It was a hard cell.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang? The nucleus.
My biology teacher decided to create vocal cords with stem cells. The results really speak for themselves.
What do You Call a Member of the Financial Staff of the Faculty of Biology? A buy-ologist.
Teacher: “What is the definition of a protein?” Student: “A protein is something that is made up of mean old acids.”
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do you call the union of a sheep and a ram? A zygoat.
What’s the fiercest type of flower? A dandelion!
What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood? B positive!
Microorganisms are so hipster. They were evolving on earth before it was cool!
What did the entomologist say to the Red Admiral? Stop bugging me. (Red Admiral is a type of insect).
What did the alveoli say to the bronchioles? We be-lung together.

I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed… Guess my thymine was off.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
A fellow accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose and discovered that he had no ill effect… Apparently, he was ambidextrose.
What did the endoplasmic reticulum say to the Golgi? “I like your body,” it said.
Golgi replied, “It’s complex.
Why did the woman break up with the biologist? He was too cell-fish.
A British biologist walks into a pub in London and asks for a pint of adenosine triphosphate. The barman replies, “That’ll be 80p.”
Why should you worry if you get a B for your biology practical? Because it’s much easier to dissect a frog!
Why don’t yogurt and medicine get along? One is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic!
Why did the mushroom go to the party?  Because he was a fungi to be with.
A doctor, a health insurance agent, and a lab tech walk into a bar. Who pays the tab? The patient.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Where did the viruses go? They flu away.
If you’ve ever wondered how biologists contact each other, they use their cell-phones!
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.

That’s DJ Enzyme. He always breaks it down!
I don’t think I need a spine. It’s holding me back.
How did the biologist call for Sean “Puffy” Combs? Heredity
Why was the student sent home from school for breaking the dress code? Too much of her epidermis was showing.
The ungulate says to the parasite. “You make me sick so I am going to expel you. You can’t stay with me anymore.” To which the parasite replies: “But I encyst”.
Why did the cell break up with his girlfriend? She took him for granite.
Girl whenever I’m near you, I undergo anaerobic respiration because you take my breath away.
What do you call it when your Biology grade is close to an F? Biodegraded.
What did the biologist name her twin daughters? “Jenna” and “Control”
When biologists need to repair something at their house, they study homology.
What’s the opposite of Nutrition? Old-trition.
Benign, adj. What you be after you be eight.
I don’t have a Carbon Footprint… Because I drive everywhere.
How did the pirate punish the marine biologist? By making him walk the PLANKton
Why did the student ask his mom for money? He thought he had to buy ology.
What did the cell say when his sister stepped in his foot? Ow – Mitosis!

Knock knock. Who’s there? Bill. Bill who? Billology is my favorite science subject.
Biologists can also be great philosophers. They give fantastic life lessons.
Do you like Science? Because I’ve got my ion you!
I wish I were Adenine because then I could get paired with U.
It’s impossible for plants to escape from jail. There’s a wall around their cell!
If you were C6, and I were H12, all we would need is the air we breathe to be sweeter than sugar.
Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays? They’re allowed to wear genes to work.
Which place of worship is made from amino acids? The cysteine chapel.
You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely.
Why can’t plants escape from jail? There are walls around their cells.
Are you made of Fluorine, Iodine, and Neon? ‘Cause you are F-I-Nen
I never been a very good swimmer, my DNA almost drowned in its gene pool.
What do biologists post on Instagram? Cell-fies.
Why are tertiary structures selfish? Because the amino acids are all wrapped up in themselves.
Are you a compound of Beryllium and Barium? Because you’re a total BaBe.

If you were oxygen, I would be an alkali metal so i could get in you and explode!
I don’t need neurons to stimulate your sensory system.
Why aren’t students allowed in the biology teachers’ lounge? It’s for staph only.
Why did the biologist get booed off the stage during American Idol? He was caught Lipidsynching
How do you reprimand a lazy scientist working in a cryogenetics lab? “Your contribution in this project is absolute zero”.
I found this humerus.
Do you have 11 protons? ‘Cause you’re Sodium fine!
What do you call an organic compound with an attitude? A-mean-o acid.
Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division. Beause in biology, cells multiply in number when one cell divides into two.
Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the best medical elements? Because if you can’t heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um.
Enema, n. Not a friend.
Why do biologists like to travel? It makes them more cultured.
Why do biologists like to travel? It makes them more cultured.
Do you know what gets on my nerves? Myelin.
What are the requirements to work in marine biology? Your grades need to be above C-level.

What do hipster biologists wear? Skinny genes.
What can you use to get plaque off of your brain? Neural Crest.
I walked into the biology lab and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect.
I told him, “I think your fly is open.”
What do you call a couple of Latin mice? A paramecium?
Why did the scuba diver fail biology? He was below “C” level.
What is bacteria? The rear entrance to cafeterias.
What did the biology teacher tell the frog? Looks aren’t everything, it’s what’s inside you that really matters.
What did the snooty metacentric say to the telocentric? Two arms are better than one.
Which branch of science is the IRS interested in? Taxonomy.
How does a marine biologist end a conversation? Sea you later!
Why was the amoeba sad? His parents just split.
Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!
Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide.
Two blood cells met and fell in love. Sadly, it was all in vein.
Why was the mushroom so popular? He was a real fungi.

What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What kind of pants do biologists wear? Designer genes.
What was the name of the leader of the group of holy biologists? Saint Nucleus.
What do football players wear on their heads? Helminth.
How did the biologist learn how to repair his house? Homology.
What do biologists wear when they play hockey? Helminths.
Knock. Knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the trunk, you pack-a the suitcase.’
A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down… Now he has to start from scratch.
What is the definition of paramecium? Two Latin mice.
Y’all want to hear a potassium joke? K.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
I want to stick to you like glue-cose.
What did the biologist order at the Dinosaur Barbeque Restaurant? Back-back Ribosomes
Why did the algae join with the fungus? They took a lichen to each other.

What kind of notebooks do dendrochronologists use? Tree-ring binders.
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? “Woopea!”
Knock Knock! Who’s There? Noble Gas! Noble Gas who? Nevermind, I guess all my friends Argon.
Why didn’t the dendrochronologist ever get married? Because he only dated trees.
What would you call the scientific study of real estate? Homology.
Why was the girl worried about biology class? She has a Nervous System.
What do you call a broken spirometer? Expired.
What did Cinderella say while reading a biology textbook? “I hate mitosis.”
What did the biologist see at the beach? Nucleotides
How did the botany student finish her flower identification homework so quickly? She put the petal to the metal.
What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
How did Gregor Mendel become wealthy? From his Mendelian inheritance.
Where are criminal neurons sent? A chain ganglion.
Where do protozoa go to practice long jumping? The hopper.
Did you hear the famous biology song? “Every Breath You Take” by Sting.

What would you most commonly find in a cell? Criminals.
How do you eat a DNA-salad? With a replication fork.
What are the names of the recycling triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian.
Why do biologists like to travel? It makes them more cultured.
Knock Knock! Who’s There? Alkynes! Alkynes who? All kinds of ways to open the door and all you want to do is joke around.
I was reading a book on helium… I couldn’t put it down.

Do you have more biology jokes that you love? Be sure to share them in the comments!

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