100 The Best Graduation Jokes

Last Updated on February 27, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Graduation jokes are perfect for cards, to make someone laugh or even cry! Use these jokes to help lighten the mood, be the life of the party, or to add to your graduation card! No matter how you use them you are sure to get a few chuckles from everyone!

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The Best Graduation Jokes

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  • What did the boy say when his mom asked him why he didn’t pick up his phone at his graduation? I couldn’t pick up because the reception was horrible.
  • What faculty member was friends with all the seniors? The princi-pal.
  • What do all the TV seniors wear at their graduation ceremony? They all carry honor cords around.
  • How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it may take up to seven years!
  • What happened when the girl didn’t pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree? She had to sign up for makeup classes.
  • What happened when two seniors were sent to detention for making some horrible puns? They were pun-ished.
  • Why did Mary want to work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken outlet even though she’d graduated as the class valedictorian? It had been on her bucket list for a long time.
  • What do you get when you complete science class? A graduated cylinder.
  • What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for his last day of high school? Bison.
  • Why was a married man not allowed to complete his undergraduate degree? Because he wasn’t a bachelor.
  • What do you call it if a math major can’t seem to hold down a job after their graduation? It’s just a horrible after-math of the situation.
  • What did the vampire say at his high school graduation? I would like to fang everyone for supporting me.
  • Why does everyone think of all the whiteboard seniors? They’re pretty remarkable.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there! B-4! B-4 who? B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand.
black graduation cap with rolled diploma and graduation joke on white background with teal border
  • What did the fashion mogul say to his son after he attended his convocation ceremony? I’m extremely Prada you.
  • Why do all the bad high school seniors carry scissors? They love to cut class.
  • When a mathematics student graduates… do they get a degree or a radian?
  • Why did none of the paper seniors end up graduating from high school? Their essays were tearable.
  • How many PhD candidates do you need to change a single light bulb? You actually only need one, but it may take more than four years.
  • I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation. The worst part is, I had the right of passage
  • Why do most M&Ms want to go to college? They want to turn into Smarties.
  • What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School? A law-botomy.
  • Why did all the flight school students prefer to study in the airplane compared to on the ground? They wanted to get high grades in their final exam.
  • Graduations are so immature. You can hardly get to the end without name calling!
  • Why are halls where graduation ceremonies conducted so warm? There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
  • How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza!
  • Why do all the students bring ladders after ninth grade? They’re in high school now.
  • Why was the photographer fired from the high school graduation ceremony? He used to get into scuffles at the drop of a hat.
  • At my graduation, my friend called me a ranch because I be dressing!
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  • How do all the bee high school seniors travel to public school? They all take a buzz.
  • Why did one high school in the city stop organizing graduation ceremonies? There was too much name-calling in it.
  • My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot! Must have been like 5,000 degrees in there!
  • What did the science degree say when the diploma said that getting an education was tough? I couldn’t degree more.
  • Why was the piece of paper sad on graduation day? College Ruled.
  • LinkedIn is the worst dating app! All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation!
  • I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat, which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer.
  • Why was the technical degree so upset after graduation? She wasn’t open to a service level degreement.
  • I ordered a graduation cake for my son. The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew?
  • What subject was a common favorite among the Snake high school seniors? Most of them loved hiss-tory.
  • What did the mother whale say to her daughter when she graduated from college? You’ve done so whale, I couldn’t be more proud.
  • Did you hear about the statistics major who ended up homeless when they couldn’t find a job after graduation? It was a really bad aftermath.
  • What did the koala bear possess after doing an undergraduate degree in law from a prestigious college? He had the koalifications to practice as a full-time lawyer.
  • If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
  • I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and the deepest thing he ever said to me was, “You have your whole life ahead of you.”
  • What did the bay leaf tell his friends when he became the class valedictorian? I can’t beleaf I made it this far.
  • What did the turkey say to the vegetable when she got a degree from culinary school? I yam in awe of your talent.
  • What do you tell a bag of popcorn after it graduates from College? Corn-gratulations!
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  • Why are all high school seniors, great script writers? Everyone has their own tran-script.
  • Why was the baker so excited to go to the graduation party being hosted by her parents? Because she knew that she was going to have to make a toast.
  • What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management? It is now my thyme to party!
  • Name a bus you can never enter. A syllabus.
  • What did the father say to his son, the lightbulb, when he was receiving his degree in Optical and Imaging technologies? You have a very bright future ahead of you.
  • What did the dessert say when he realized he was going to see his friends at his convocation for the last time? I donut want to graduate.
  • Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent? Because they all graduated. 
  • What do high school seniors use to pay off their debt? Extra credit.
  • What did my puppy receive after he graduated from college? His pedigree.
  • Why was the high school senior going broke? Nothing he did made cents.
  • Which did Columbus say was smarter, longitude or latitude? Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.
  • What should you mention to someone who has just graduated from college? Con-grad-ulations on your degree!
  • Why did a broom not graduate from high school? He was sweeping in the classes.
  • What kind of school do you graduate from if you’re a giant? High school.
  • How did the culinary graduate’s final exam go? She says it was a piece of cake.
  • What did the swordfish say to the marlin on graduation day? Looking sharp! 
  • Why did half of the cats in the senior class get expelled? They were found to be cheetahs.
  • How do tall people graduate? They graduate top of their class.
  • Why did the graduate bury all his money? To make his soil rich!
  • What did the high school senior do in the humorous theatre performance? He was part of a play on words.
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  • What did the Peruvian animal say when he was graduating from high school? I’m so excited to hold my dip-llama in my hands.
  • What is a graduated cylinder supposed to measure? He’s meant to measure the amount of degrees that are present.
  • Why did the graduate put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
  • What degree do wizards graduate in? Defense Against the Liberal Arts Degree.
  • Why doesn’t the soda graduate like ranking beverages with carbon at work? He feels like the job is so-da grading.
  • What did the high school senior do when he realized he was suffering from kleptomania? He started taking something for it.
  • What state has the loudest graduations? ILL-I-NOISE!
  • What would you call a vessel filled with college graduates? It would be a scholarship.
  • What is the one senior event that eliminates home-sickness for seniors in boarding school? Homecoming.
  • Why was the high school senior so excited to become a pilot? He wanted to pursue higher education.
  • Why was the high school senior buying lots of detergents? He wanted to get ready for his college freshers ahead of time.
  • I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown. It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.
  • Why didn’t the pirate make it to the dean’s list when he graduated? All of his scores were in the C’s.
  • Why didn’t the sun graduate college? Because it already had a million degrees!
  • Why was the college graduate so sad when he graduated from college? He’d never found a bunch of mates he could clique with.
  • Where did the ice-cream man graduate high school from? Sundae school.
  • What did the college graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony? Is it one degree hotter in here?
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to graduation? Cause he had ‘no body’ to dance with.
  • Why didn’t the new college course on flying become popular? Nobody saw it taking off.
  • What did the frog senior do part-time in high school? He worked as a bellhop.
black graduation cap with rolled diploma and graduation joke on white background with teal border
  • What school teaches you how to greet people? Hi school!
  • What did the relieved college senior say to his friends when he received a passing grade on his final exam? I’m grad that I’m finally done with that exam and with college.
  • How did that one college have more than 50% of the graduating class in the country’s top percentile? All the professors had their faculties intact.
  • Why does every student in their last year of high school need to learn sign language? It comes in handy in real life.
  • My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space.
  • Why did the college professor have to wear a pair of sunglasses when he was standing next to all the graduate students that were on the dean’s list? They were all really bright.
  • Why was the bread senior such a good student? He was always on the honor roll.
  • How did all of King Arthur’s tired men graduate from high school with good grades? They had a lot of sleepless knights.
  • Why did one high school senior wear glasses in all of his math classes? Because it improved di-vision.
  • What event were all the CD seniors excited about? P-rom.
  • Why was one senior always sleeping? He was preparing for a dream job.

What are your favorite graduation jokes? Share in the comments!

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