Saddle up and get ready for a wild ride. We’ve got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! You’ll stirrup a hayload of fun for all your friends and family. The laughs might even keep you up pasture bedtime!
Telling jokes is such a great way to connect as a family. Whenever I feel like I’m missing that closeness with one of my kids, I start a joke-telling session! Soon enough, we’re laughing and giggling together and enjoying each other’s company. My favorite part is that we don’t need a screen! It’s so easy for me to get distracted if I have my phone nearby, so I love having the jokes printed out and ready to go. So giddy up with a lot of giggles with these fun horse jokes that everyone loves.
Jokes about animals are so much fun. Don’t forget to check out Dog Jokes and Cat Jokes for more animal antics!
The Best horse jokes
- How does the upbeat horse look at life? As a glass hoof full.
- What did the horse say to end the argument? Neigh, I disagree.
- What did the horse say to his date? You make me whinny.
- Why did the horse have a cough drop? He sounded a little hoarse.
- What did the horse ask his owner? Did you ask me equestrian?
- Why did the horse cover his body? It was neigh-kid.
- What’s a horse’s favorite condiment? Mayo-neighs.
- Why did the horse wake up panicked? He was having a night-mare.
- What medicine does the sick horse need? Cough stirrup.
- What’s a horse’s favorite wine? Chardonhay.
- Why did the horse cancel last minute? It got colt feet.
- Where do horses sleep on their wedding night? In the bridle suite.
- How can I help my possessed horse? With an ex-horse-ist.
- What’s a horse’s favorite shop? Old Neigh-vy
- How do you send a horse mail? Through the Pony Express
- What do you call a mentally balanced horse? Stable.
- What did the mother horse say to her foals? Don’t forget to clear the stable!
- What computers do horses like? Macintosh.
- What’s a horse that loves to travel? A globe trotter.
- Why did the foal eat with its mouth open? It didn’t have stable manners.
- What do you say to a horse after you win a bet? Pony up!
- What did the fallen horse say? I’ve fallen and can’t giddy-up.
- What does a racehorse like to eat? Fast food.
- What’s black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.
- What’s a horse’s favorite bread? Thoroughbred.
- Where do horses live? Neighbraska.
- What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth? A mechanic.
- What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? The ground!
- What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? A neigh-bour.
- What do you call a horse that stays up late? A night-mare.
- Have you heard about the runaway horse? It’s a tale of WHOA!
- A horse walks into a bar. “Hey,” says the barman. “Yes please,” says the horse.
- Where do horses go when they’re sick? The horse-pital.
- When does a horse talk? Whinney wants to!
- Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? Because it had bad stable manners.
- What did the horse say when it fell over? I’ve fallen over and I can’t giddyup!
- What was the horse scared of getting during summer? Hay fever!
- What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse.
- What are horses’ favorite sports? Stable tennis and barn ball!
- What did the mare say to its foal? “Hay, pasture bedtime!”
- Why are horses so healthy? They have a stable diet.
- What score did the horse get in his exam? Hay-plus.
- Who were the two best horse thieves in the world? Bonnie and Clydesdale!
- What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
- Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside.
- You’ll never find a horse using an Android phone. They only like Apple’s.
- Why did the horse run away in the middle of its wedding? It got colt feet!
- What do you call a horse that’s not wearing a saddle? Neigh-ked!
- This one horse always has a bad attitude. She keeps saying, “Neigh.”
- Who do ponies call when they’re possessed by demons? An ex-horse-ist!
- What do you call a horse that’s a world traveler? A globe-trotter!
- A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asked him, “Why the long face?”
- If she doesn’t rein it in a bit with the gossip, she’s going to stirrup trouble!
- What’s the difference between horses and zebras? Zebras are just horses that have escaped from prison.
- What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses? Bronchitis.
- How do you make a small fortune on horse racing? Start with a large fortune.
- Did you hear what happened at the racetrack yesterday? One horse was so slow, they had to pay the jockey overtime.
- Do you know why horse stalls at the racetrack are labeled A, B, D, E, and F? Because no one wants to bet on a seahorse.
- How do you get a jockey to wait a moment? Tell him to hold his horses!
- There’s only one time vampires like watching a horse race. When it’s neck and neck.
- What kind of bread does a racehorse eat? Thoroughbred.
- Why is it hard so hard to carry on a conversation with racehorses? They don’t stand around furlong!
- What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race? Sherbet.
- Why did the owner name his racehorse ‘Bad News’? Because bad news travels fast.
- What is one of the hardest times to win a horse race? 12:31, because it is 29 to 1.
Horse Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock Knock! Who’s there? Quiet horse. Quiet horse, who? (In a whisper), “your neigh-bour…”
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Toledo. Toledo who? Toledo horse to water is easy. To make him drink is not.
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Charlie. Charlie who? Charlie horse!
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Horsp. Horsp who? Did you just say “horse poo?”
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Loud horse. Loud horse, who? A loud horse that wants to annoy you!
Horse Puns
- You sure like to stirrup trouble.
- It’s pasture bedtime.
- Stop horsing around.
- Cud you go on a date with me?
- Don’t be afraid to make a foal of yourself.
- Get off your high horse.
- I herd you wanted my number.
- You’re my better hoof.
- Why the long face?
- It’s time for the mane event.
- Watch me whip… Watch me neigh, neigh.
- You’re my mane man.
- I can’t help being a spur of the moment type of person.
- I’m so glad you’re my neigh-bor.
- Hold your horses, why don’t you.
- Meet me at the hair saloon.
- You’re such a stud.
- You’re haylarious.
- You’re always the centaur of attention.
- Talk Derby To Me
- Pony Tail
- Reya Sunshine
- Colt Forty-Five
- Pony Soprano
- David Hasselhoof
- Maple Stirrup
- Nightmare
- John Bon Pony
- Tater Trot
- Forrest Jump
- Thanorse
- Houdini
- Hermioneigh Granger
- Fleabag
- Harry Trotter
- Hay Girl
- NeighSayer
- My Little Pony
- Biscotti The Hotty
Do you have more fun horse jokes that you love? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!
Printable Joke Cards
Print your horse jokes and have fun giggling with the entire family!
Check out these Jokes
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- Funny Lunch Box Jokes
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- Birthday Jokes
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- Spring Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
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- Hockey Jokes for Kids
- Turkey Jokes
- Ghost Jokes
- Football Jokes
- Pumpkin Jokes for Kids and Adults
- Skeleton Jokes
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- Disney Jokes for Kids
- Elk Jokes
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- Lighthouse Riddles, Jokes and Puns
- Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
- Santa Jokes
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- Christmas Tree Jokes
- Snow Jokes
- Reindeer Jokes
- Christmas Jokes
- Elf Jokes
- Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
- Chicken Jokes
- Dad Jokes
- Cat Jokes
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- Guess Who Jokes
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- Winter Jokes
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- Coffee Jokes
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- Wednesday Jokes
- Pizza Jokes
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Jokes for Adults
- Bald Jokes
- Flirty Knock Knock Jokes
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- Jokes to Tell a Girl
- Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush
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Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. With her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer, Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.