120 Purr-fect Cat Jokes That Make You Me-OWWW!

Last Updated on February 28, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Cat jokes are litter-ally some of the best jokes that you will find. Whether you have a million cats or a kid that loves cats, these cat jokes will make you laugh. We aren’t kitten about that!

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Jokes are a great way to bond with friends and family, and these cat jokes are no exception. They are the puuuur-fect way to bond, share laughs, and spend time with one another. Use them at the dinner table, in the car, or when you are hanging out on a Friday night!

Don’t worry! These won’t have you saying paw-done-me are you fur-real when you hear the punch line because these cat jokes are kid-friendly. They are the purrrr-fect way to laugh with the ones you love. So get ready to laugh because we are pulling out all the stops with these funny jokes.

Ready for more jokes? Check out our cow jokes and our pirate jokes for more laughs.

 
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The Best cat jokes

yellow cat on white background with brown border
  • What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? Claw and Order.
  • Why did the cats ask for a drum set? They wanted to make some mewsic!
  • “Cats are more like ‘Hey, what are you up to? Never mind — I just remembered I don’t care.'” — Zoltan Kaszas
  • Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The re-tail store!
  • I saw a neighbor talking to her cat today, it was hilarious that she thought her cat could understand her. I went home and told my dog.
  • It’s been proven that cats understand commands as well, if not better than dogs…
  • they just choose to ignore them lol.
  • Why are cats, great singers? Because they’re very mewsical!
  • I saw a poster today that asked, “Have you seen my cat?” So, I called the number and said that I didn’t. I like to help where I can.
  • What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple!
  • What’s a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
  • Why do cats make terrible storytellers? They only have one tail.
  • What’s it called when all the treats are gone? A cat-astrophe.
  • Why was the cat afraid of the tree? Because of its bark!
  • How do French cats say “Thank You”? “Meow-ci Beaucoup.”
  • What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
  • What should you say to your cat when you leave the house? “Have a mice day!”
  • Why do cats always win video games? Because they have nine lives!
  • What’s a kitten’s favorite kind of sticker? Scratch and sniff.
  • What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain!
  • What sports do cats play? Hairball!
  • How did the Mom Cat know she was pregnant? Her test was pawsitive.
cat face on white background with brown border
  • What does the cat say after making a joke? “Just kitten!”
  • What do you call it when a cat is super-stylish? “Haute-cat-ture.”
  • What do cats look for in a significant other? A great purrsonality.
  • What did one cat say while her friend was complaining? “Tail me about it.”
  • What song do kittens always request at dances? “Mice Mice Baby.”
  • Why don’t cats ever say “YOLO?” They have nine lives.
  • Why do cats make horrible DJs? They always paws the tunes.
  • What did the sick cat say? “I feel clawful!”
  • What do polite cats say when they’re in the way? “Paw-don me! I’m furry sorry.”
  • Do you want to hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten!
  • Why do cats have minty breath? The use mousewash.
  • What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mewsic!
  • What do cats love to do in the morning? Read the mewspaper!
  • What state has a lot of cats and dogs? Petsylvania!
  • When a cat doesn’t want to say goodbye, what do they say instead? “See ya litter!”
  • Why is it hard to trust cats? They have many tall tails.
  • What do Christmas and desert cats have in common? Sandy claws.
  • What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have? A catastrophe!
  • What do cats like to eat on a hot day? A mice-cream cone!
  • Why do cats always get their way? They are very purr-suasive!
spotted cat on white background with brown border
  • How do two cats end a fight? They hiss and make up!
  • What should you use to comb a cat? A catacomb!
  • What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping!
  • Where do cats always fly out of when they travel? Kitty Hawk!
  • How does a cat sing scales? Do-re-mew!
  • Why did the cat eat the lemons? He was a sourpuss!
  • What normally happens when kitties go on a first date? They hiss.
  • Before going after a mouse, what did the dad cat say to his family? “Let us prey.”
  • What was the kitten bowling league called? “Alley Cats.”
  • What do you call a cat who became a doctor? “A first aid kitten.”
  • Why did the cat avoid eating lemons? They made him a sour-puss.
  • Why do cats hate laptops? They don’t have a mouse.
  • Where do cats enjoy spending a family day? The mew-seum.
  • What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
  • What do you call a feline with a short haircut? A bob cat, of course
  • What animals can you not trust? Big cats! Because some are cheetahs, and some are always lion!
  • Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
  • What did the alien say to the cat? “Take me to your litter.”
  • Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
  • Who was the most powerful cat in China? Chairman Miaow.
cat paws on white background with brown border
  • What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee!
  • Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
  • What’s a cat’s favorite button on the TV remote? Paws.
  • Why did the cat get pulled over by the police? Because it littered.
  • What did the cat say when it got scratched? Meowch!
  • “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Kitten.” “Kitten, who?” “Quit kitten around and open the door.”
  • What did the cat say when it was confused? “I’m purr-plexed!”
  • How is cat food sold? Usually, purr the can!
  • What’s another name for a cat’s house? A scratch pad!
  • Why did the cats ask for a drum set? They wanted to make some mewsic!
  • Why did the cat have to go to an accountant? They got caught up in a purramid scheme.
  • What did the kitten have at their birthday party? A pounce house.
  • Before a cat fight, what is usually said? “Hold my purrse.”
  • Which day of the week do cats love the most? Caturday.
  • What did the mom and dad cat say about their wedding day? “It was unfurrgetable!”
  • How did the cat comic know he was funny? The audience was meow-ling with laughter.
  • Why did some cat friends go to the mall? There was a buy-one-get-one-furry deal.
  • If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on? Their paws.
  • How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
  • Why was the cat so agitated? He was in a bad mewd.
brown cat on white background with brown border
  • Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
  • Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? She was feline fine!
  • What do you call a cat who lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
  • What do cats use to make coffee? A purr-colator!
  • In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest? When it’s raining cats and dogs!
  • What do you call a cat wearing shoes? A puss in boots!
  • What’s a cat’s favorite subject in school? Hisss-tory!
  • What types of cats purr the best? Purrr-sians!
  • What’s a cat’s favorite TV show? Claw and Order.
  • What’s a cat’s favorite cereal? Mice crispies.
  • When cats need to go to the airport, who do they call? A tabby.
  • What made the cat upgrade his phone? He wanted to finally get pawtrait mode.
  • Why did the kitty get an “A” on their English assignment? They properly used an independent claws.
  • Why don’t you want to play Monopoly with a cat? They tend to be cheetahs.
  • Why are cats bad at making decisions? They become so purrplexed.
  • What’s a kitten’s fave way to shop? By cat-alogue.
  • Why was the animal lover so untrustworthy? She kept letting the cat out of the bag!
  • What do cats call a nice dinner? “A fancy feast.”
  • Me: Sobbing One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me! Therapist: That’s pretty typical cat behavior.
  • What did the cat say when he lost all his money? “I’m paw!”
yellow cat on white background with brown border
  • Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane? She let the cat out of the bag.
  • What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed? A Himalayan.
  • How do you know a cat is agitated? He’s having a hissy fit!
  • What do baby cats always wear? Diapurrs!
  • What title does a cat go by in the kitchen? “The Whisker.”
  • What did the cats do when they realized they had a bad plan? They decided to (cat)nip it in the bud.
  • What do cats quote from the movie Bridesmaids? “Help me, I’m paw!”
  • Why are kittens actually excellent bosses? They have great littership.
  • What is a cat’s way of keeping law and order? Claw Enforcement.
  • Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas? She was a sher-paw.
  • What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.
  • My cat told a joke today but I didn’t laugh. He took it purr-sondal.
  • Someone made a joke about my three-legged cat. Major faux paw.
  • What’s the Cheshire Cat’s favorite drink? Evaporated milk.
  • How do cats stop crimes? They call claw enforcement!
  • Why did the teenage cat call her parents when she found an apartment she liked? She needed them to (cali)co-sign her lease.
  • What did the mom cat say about her intuition? “I just had a strong feline.”
  • What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman? Frostbite!
  • What did the cat say after hearing a funny joke? Lmao.
cat face on white background with brown border

What are your favorite cat jokes? Share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

Printable Cat Jokes

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