Ready to have a tree-mendous Christmas season? Don’t get caught empty-handed! These Christmas tree jokes are just what you need so that no one will fir-get how great this year was!
Feeling just pine about Christmas? These fun Christmas tree jokes add so much joy and laughter to the season. They will put everyone in a great mood that they can’t help but hang with you this holiday season. In fact, your friends and family will love them so much that they may give you a “watt! watt!” So get cozy around the tree and share all your favorite Christmas tree jokes with your friends and family this year.
Gear up for the Holidays with this Mega Christmas Game Collection!
The Best Christmas Tree Jokes
Knock KnockAngel on top of my Christmas tree.
Knock knockBless you – are you allergic to Christmas trees?
nock KnockCandy canes hanging on the Christmas tree.
Knock, knock.Dish is a nice place to put a Christmas tree.
Knock KnockChristmas Eve we decorate our tree.
Knock, knock.Iona Christmas ornament.
Knock knockKanya help me find a Christmas tree.
Knock Knock.Decorating the Christmas tree.
Q: What do Christmas trees get when they go numb?A: Pines and needles!
Q: What do Christmas trees get when they’re ill?A: Tinselitus!
Q: How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?A: They spruce up!
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?A: It needed a root canal!
Q: Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire?A: Too much pine tar on his bat.
Q: Why are Christmas trees more noticible on Christmas?A: They have more presence.
Q: How can you identify a Christmas tree?A: By its bark – woof!
Q: How did the Christmas tree get in trouble?A: It was knotty.
My cat has been nibbling on the christmas tree…She’s now coughing up fir balls!
Q: What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies?A: Spruce Willis!
Q: What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm?A: Christmas be my lucky day!
Q: Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?A: Wood-row Wilson
Q: Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?A: They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
Q: Why are there so many Christmas trees at the North Pole.A: BeClaus, why not?
Q: How was the Christmas tree like a bad seamstress?A: They both drop needles
Q: What did the Christmas tree do after it’s bank closed?A: It started his own branch.
Q: How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer?A: You put on HORNaments.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school?A: So it could spruce up the forest.
Q: What don’t you want your dog to run into over Christmas vacation?A: The Christmas Flea.
Q: What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?A: It’s shadow.
Q: What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?A: Been nice gnawing you.
Q: What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?A: Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
Q: How many Christmas trees can you plant on an empty farm?A: One, because then the farm isn’t empty anymore.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?A: It was feeling green.
Q: How are Christmas trees like blockbuster movies?A: They both have stars.
Q: What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool?A: Swim trunks.
Q: Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show?A: He really knew how to present.
Q: Why don’t Christmas trees ever pollute?A: They are ever green.
Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?A: The Captain’s log.
Q: How do Christmas trees make their feelings heard?A: They O-pine.
Q: What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?A: Faux fir.
Q: What is the most frustrating thing about being a Christmas tree?A: Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.
Q: What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day?A: They get all sappy.
Q: How did the two rival Christmas trees get along?A: They signed a peace tree-ty
Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape?A: A treeangle.
Q. Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?A. Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs
Q: How many pine cones grow on a Christmas tree?A: All of them.
Q: What looks like half a Christmas tree?A: The other half.
Q: What do you call it when Christmas tree’s boycott something?A: A Christmas tree stand.
Q: How can you tell if you have a girl Christmas tree?A: Look for the tree skirt.
Q: Which side of a Christmas tree has the most needles?A: The outside.
Q: Why did the boy put ice cream under the Christmas tree?A: To go with the pine cones.
Q: How can Christmas trees grow so big?A: When they get enough rein, deer.
Q: How do Christmas trees get their email?A: They log-on.
Q: How can you get down from a Christmas tree?A: You can’t… down comes from ducks.
Q: Why can’t Christmas trees sew?A: They always drop their needles.
Q: Why was the Christmas tree’s friend so sad?A: It was a weeping willow.
Q: Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for Christmas trees?A: Montreeal.
Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in high school?A: Treegonometree.
Q: What gets one year older when it rings?A: A Christmas tree.
Q: Which type of Christmas tree is green, has a trunk and leaves?A: A Christmas tree going on vacation.
Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?A: May the forest be with you.
Q: Where do young trees learn to become Christmas trees?A: In elementree school.
Q: Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on it’s algebra test?A: It got stumped by the problems.
Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?A: It needed a root canal.
Q: What do ornaments do on Christmas trees.A: Not much, they just hang out.
Q: What city did the Christmas tree want to move to?A: Garland
Q: Which month of the year don’t Christmas trees like?A: Sep-timber.
Q: What did the Jedi say to the Christmas tree?A: May the forest be with you.
Q: How did the boy cut down the Christmas tree without going near it?A: He saw it with his own two eyes.
Q: What kind of coats do Christmas trees wear?A: Fir.
Q: Why do Christmas trees make such great receivers in football?A: They have sticky fingers.
Q: What was the fitness trainer best at during the Christmas season?A: Trimming the tree!
Everyone likes decorating the Christmas tree, but taking it down confuses me…It’s really disornamenting!
Q: What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?A: A pineapple!
My epileptic son loves our new Christmas tree.You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights.
My Christmas tree was very happy when I removed the decorations from it.It was absolutely de-lighted.
Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?A: Because the present’s beneath them.
Christmas trees always bring me down with their negativity.They’re always just pining away.
I can’t believe people are letting fireworks off in October!It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over.
Q: What do you call an ornament on a Christmas tree that is all by itself?A: The Decoration of Independence.
Q: What is our 44th President’s favorite Christmas song?A: Barackin’ Around the Christmas Tree.
Q: What do you call a unicorn in a Christmas tree?A: A unicornament.
My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.Her plans have been foiled.
Q: Why were there no fighting games under the Christmas tree?A: They got Tekken.
Q: Why did the Fox News Christmas tree catch fire?A: They left it too close to the gaslight.
Q: What happens if you remove Christmas trees?A: Then there are only Christmas two’s left.
Q: Did you hear about the soldier who snuck behind enemy lines disguised as a Christmas tree?A: He was a decorated veteran.
Q: What do you call a Christmas tree without any decorations?A: Ornamentally challenged.
Q: Why was Luke under the Christmas tree?A: He wanted to feel Obi Wan’s presents.
Q: What is something you can say to praise a Christmas tree but shouldn’t say about a woman?A: Looks pretty in the darkness.
Q: What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?A: Christmas chopping.
Don’t forget to share your favorite Christma tree jokes in the comments so we can add them to the growing list!
You can Never Have Too Many Jokes! Complete List of Awesome Jokes!
- The Best Jokes for Kids
- Lunch Box Jokes
- Funny Lunch Box Jokes
- Earth Day Jokes for Kids
- Bear jokes for Kids
- Birthday Jokes
- Fall Lunch Box Jokes
- Halloween Lunch Box Jokes
- Thanksgiving Lunch Box Jokes
- Hanukkah Jokes for Kids
- Christmas Lunch Box Jokes
- Spring Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
- Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
- Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
- Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards
- Airplane Jokes for Kids
- Fish Lunch Box Jokes + Printable Cards
- Apple Jokes
- Banana Jokes
- Bowling Jokes
- Pig Jokes
- Bacon Jokes
- Lemon Jokes
- Road Trip Jokes
- Camp Jokes
- The Best Graduation Jokes
- Water Jokes for Kids
- Dinosaur Jokes
- Donut Jokes
- Candy Jokes for Kids
- Computer Jokes for Kids
- Clown Jokes for kids
- Monkey Jokes for Kids
- Crab Jokes for Kids
- Turtle Jokes for Kids
- Ninja Jokes for Kids
- Hockey Jokes for Kids
- Turkey Jokes
- Ghost Jokes
- Football Jokes
- Pumpkin Jokes for Kids and Adults
- Skeleton Jokes
- Cow Jokes
- Halloween Jokes for Kids
- Disney Jokes for Kids
- Elk Jokes
- Robot Jokes
- Lighthouse Riddles, Jokes and Puns
- Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
- Santa Jokes
- Elf on the Shelf Jokes
- Flirty Knock Knock Jokes
- Husband Wife Jokes
- Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend
- Jokes to Tell a Girl
- Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush
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