90 Best Christmas Tree Jokes That Are Tree-Mendous

Last Updated on November 21, 2022 by Michele Tripple

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Ready to have a tree-mendous Christmas season? Don’t get caught empty-handed! These Christmas tree jokes are just what you need so that no one will fir-get how great this year was!

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Feeling just pine about Christmas? These fun Christmas tree jokes add so much joy and laughter to the season. They will put everyone in a great mood that they can’t help but hang with you this holiday season. In fact, your friends and family will love them so much that they may give you a “watt! watt!” So get cozy around the tree and share all your favorite Christmas tree jokes with your friends and family this year.

For more fun jokes this holiday season, be sure to check out our Santa jokes, Elf on the Shelf Jokes, and our Christmas knock knock jokes.

Gear up for the Holidays with this Mega Christmas Game Collection!

Pin image: blue background with white letters spelling Christmas tree Jokes. one green christmas tree, one red with white stripes, one green with dots, and one red

The Best Christmas Tree Jokes

White background with blue border; green zig zag pattern christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Angel
Angel who?

Angel on top of my Christmas tree.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Atch
Atch who?

Bless you – are you allergic to Christmas trees?

nock Knock
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?

Candy canes hanging on the Christmas tree.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?

Dish is a nice place to put a Christmas tree.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Eve.
Eve who?

Christmas Eve we decorate our tree.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Iona.
Iona who?

Iona Christmas ornament.
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Knock knock
Who’s there?
Kanya
Kanya who?

Kanya help me find a Christmas tree.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Decora.
Decora who?

Decorating the Christmas tree.

Q: What do Christmas trees get when they go numb?

A: Pines and needles!

Q: What do Christmas trees get when they’re ill?

A: Tinselitus!

Q: How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?

A: They spruce up!
White background with blue border; green zig zag pattern christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?

A: It needed a root canal!

Q: Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire?

A: Too much pine tar on his bat.

Q: Why are Christmas trees more noticible on Christmas?

A: They have more presence.

Q: How can you identify a Christmas tree?

A: By its bark – woof!

Q: How did the Christmas tree get in trouble?

A: It was knotty.
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My cat has been nibbling on the christmas tree…

She’s now coughing up fir balls!

Q: What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies?

A: Spruce Willis!
 
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Q: What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm?

A: Christmas be my lucky day!

Q: Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?

A: Wood-row Wilson

Q: Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?

A: They have a great bark, but wooden bite.
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Q: Why are there so many Christmas trees at the North Pole.

A: BeClaus, why not?

Q: How was the Christmas tree like a bad seamstress?

A: They both drop needles

Q: What did the Christmas tree do after it’s bank closed?

A: It started his own branch.

Q: How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer?

A: You put on HORNaments.

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school?

A: So it could spruce up the forest.
White background with blue border; red white stripes christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Q: What don’t you want your dog to run into over Christmas vacation?

A: The Christmas Flea.

Q: What’s as big as a Christmas tree but is lighter than a feather?

A: It’s shadow.

Q: What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?

A: Been nice gnawing you.

Q: What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?

A: Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…

Q: How many Christmas trees can you plant on an empty farm?

A: One, because then the farm isn’t empty anymore.
White background with blue border; green with white dots christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?

A: It was feeling green.

Q: How are Christmas trees like blockbuster movies?

A: They both have stars.

Q: What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool?

A: Swim trunks.

Q: Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show?

A: He really knew how to present.

Q: Why don’t Christmas trees ever pollute?

A: They are ever green.
White background with blue border; red christmas tree with white dots; Christmas tree joke

Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?

A: The Captain’s log.

Q: How do Christmas trees make their feelings heard?

A: They O-pine.
 
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Q: What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?

A: Faux fir.

Q: What is the most frustrating thing about being a Christmas tree?

A: Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.

Q: What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day?

A: They get all sappy.
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Q: How did the two rival Christmas trees get along?

A: They signed a peace tree-ty

Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape?

A: A treeangle.

Q. Why couldn’t the Christmas tree stand up?

A. Because a Christmas tree doesn’t have legs

Q: How many pine cones grow on a Christmas tree?

A: All of them.

Q: What looks like half a Christmas tree?

A: The other half.
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Q: What do you call it when Christmas tree’s boycott something?

A: A Christmas tree stand.

Q: How can you tell if you have a girl Christmas tree?

A: Look for the tree skirt.

Q: Which side of a Christmas tree has the most needles?

A: The outside.

Q: Why did the boy put ice cream under the Christmas tree?

A: To go with the pine cones.

Q: How can Christmas trees grow so big?

A: When they get enough rein, deer.
White background with blue border; green zig zag pattern christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Q: How do Christmas trees get their email?

A: They log-on.

Q: How can you get down from a Christmas tree?

A: You can’t… down comes from ducks.

Q: Why can’t Christmas trees sew?

A: They always drop their needles.

Q: Why was the Christmas tree’s friend so sad?

A: It was a weeping willow.

Q: Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for Christmas trees?

A: Montreeal.
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Q: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite subject in high school?

A: Treegonometree.

Q: What gets one year older when it rings?

A: A Christmas tree.

Q: Which type of Christmas tree is green, has a trunk and leaves?

A: A Christmas tree going on vacation.

Q: What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?

A: May the forest be with you.

Q: Where do young trees learn to become Christmas trees?

A: In elementree school.
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Q: Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on it’s algebra test?

A: It got stumped by the problems.

Q: Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?

A: It needed a root canal.
 
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Q: What do ornaments do on Christmas trees.

A: Not much, they just hang out.

Q: What city did the Christmas tree want to move to?

A: Garland

Q: Which month of the year don’t Christmas trees like?

A: Sep-timber.
White background with blue border; red christmas tree with white stripes; Christmas tree joke

Q: What did the Jedi say to the Christmas tree?

A: May the forest be with you.

Q: How did the boy cut down the Christmas tree without going near it?

A: He saw it with his own two eyes.

Q: What kind of coats do Christmas trees wear?

A: Fir.

Q: Why do Christmas trees make such great receivers in football?

A: They have sticky fingers.

Q: What was the fitness trainer best at during the Christmas season?

A: Trimming the tree!
White background with blue border; green christmas tree with white dots; Christmas tree joke

Everyone likes decorating the Christmas tree, but taking it down confuses me…

It’s really disornamenting!

Q: What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A: A pineapple!

My epileptic son loves our new Christmas tree.

You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights.

My Christmas tree was very happy when I removed the decorations from it.

It was absolutely de-lighted.

Q: Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?

A: Because the present’s beneath them.
White background with blue border; red and white christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Christmas trees always bring me down with their negativity.

They’re always just pining away.

I can’t believe people are letting fireworks off in October!

It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over.

Q: What do you call an ornament on a Christmas tree that is all by itself?

A: The Decoration of Independence.

Q: What is our 44th President’s favorite Christmas song?

A: Barackin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

Q: What do you call a unicorn in a Christmas tree?

A: A unicornament.
White background with blue border; green  and white christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

My cat kept trying to climb my Christmas tree so I put aluminum around the base of the tree.

Her plans have been foiled.

Q: Why were there no fighting games under the Christmas tree?

A: They got Tekken.
 
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Q: Why did the Fox News Christmas tree catch fire?

A: They left it too close to the gaslight.

Q: What happens if you remove Christmas trees?

A: Then there are only Christmas two’s left.

Q: Did you hear about the soldier who snuck behind enemy lines disguised as a Christmas tree?

A: He was a decorated veteran.
White background with blue border; red  christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Q: What do you call a Christmas tree without any decorations?

A: Ornamentally challenged.

Q: Why was Luke under the Christmas tree?

A: He wanted to feel Obi Wan’s presents.

Q: What is something you can say to praise a Christmas tree but shouldn’t say about a woman?

A: Looks pretty in the darkness.

Q: What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree?

A: Christmas chopping.
White background with blue border; green zig zag pattern christmas tree; Christmas tree joke

Don’t forget to share your favorite Christma tree jokes in the comments so we can add them to the growing list!

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