100 Best Father’s Day Jokes [Free Joke Cards]

Last Updated on February 3, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Dad jokes, are usually a little cringe-worthy, yet we can’t get enough of them! To honor Dad on a whole new level, let us introduce you to the very best Father’s Day jokes. They are sure to give you a good laugh as you enjoy the day with your dad.

a father and a daughter silhouette on half the image with a blue background on the left with a white oval with a brown border with a image of a text of "HAPPY FATHER DAY" and brown writing "the best father's day jokes"

Picture a world where every crazy dad joke is given a standing ovation instead of the usual eye roll, where Father’s Day jokes are celebrated rather than tolerated. Let us all indulge in a little love for Dad this year and celebrate the cheesy humor and give a little laugh to these fun Father’s Day jokes. You will make his dad with these fun jokes.

For more dad fun, be sure to also check out our dad riddles as well.

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father’s day jokes

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  • What did the buffalo say when his son left? Bison!
  • What did the spider say to his dad? You spend too much time on the web!
  • How is the baby bird like his dad? He’s a chirp off the old block!
  • What happens when a painter gets cold? They put on another coat.
  • Why does Waldo from Where’s Waldo wear stripes? He doesn’t want to be spotted!
  • How does dad take his coffee? Very seriously.
  • What did the sandwich say in his Father’s Day card? I know you think I’m full of baloney, but you’re the best dad ever.
  • What do you call a dad who falls through the ice? A popsicle!
  • What do you call a fruit that’s really emotional? A passionfruit.
  • What did the baby otter say to its dad? “You are a dad like no otter.”
  • How do pigs wake up their dad on Father’s Day? With plenty of hogs and kisses.
  • Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate. Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!
  • Dad: Hi, Sweetie, how was school today? Daughter: You can read all about it on my Facebook, Dad!
  • Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad.
  • Dad: Let me see your report card. Son: I don’t have it. Dad: Why not? Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
dark blue bordered image with father's day joke on it along with father icon on it
  • Dad: How old is your father? Child: As old as me. Dad: How is that possible? Child: He became a father only when I was born.
  • Son: For $20, I’ll be good. Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.
  • Son: Dad, I’m hungry. Dad: Hello, Hungry, I’m Dad. Son: Dad, I’m serious. Dad: I thought you were Hungry
  • Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: I don’t think they’ll fit me.
  • I’m laying in bed reading a book when my dad walks in with a tape measure. About five feet away from me he stops and starts pushing the tape out to me. It gets closer and closer until it eventually smushes against my cheek. I ask him, “What are you doing?” He responds, “I’m measuring your patience.”
  • Son: I’ll call you later.
  • Dad: Don’t call me Later, call me Dad.
  • Dad: What is the lunchmeat that tastes like hot dogs? Son: Bologna? Dad: This isn’t bologna, son, but a serious question.
  • Son: Hey, Dad, what’s this movie about? Dad: It’s about two hours.
  • Son: Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

One-Liner Father’s Day Jokes

  • “I’m not lion — you’re the best.”
  • “You’re oh-fish-ally the greatest dad ever.”
  • “I’m a lucky duck that you’re my dad.”
  • “You meet all of the koala-fications.”
  • “I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, ‘You.’ ”
  • “My son wants 50% of my Father’s Day gifts. He says if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even be a father.“
  • “You can tell it’s almost Father’s Day. The kids suddenly want to stop at all the garage sales.“
  • “Happy Father’s Day to a dad that was smart enough to teach his kid to mow the lawn so he wouldn’t have to.”
  • “Happy Father’s Day Dad. May your day be better than your jokes.”
  • “Happy Father’s Day. Without me, it would be just another day for you. You’re welcome.”
  • “I shore do love you, dad. It’s Father’s Day… so let’s shellabrate!”
  • “You’re a fan-stache-tic dad!”
  • “I wanted to give you a comb for Father’s Day, but we could never part.”
  • “Like a whiteboard, you’re remarkable.”
  • “I hope you don’t sca-dad-dle anytime soon!”
  • “Dad puns — that’s how eye roll.”
  • “Thanks for always driving me, Dad… driving me crazy.”
  • “I started a sailboat building business in my attic. Sails are going through the roof.“
  • “A lion would never play gold. But a Tiger would.“
  • “Dad jokes are waffle, but I still like yours.”
  • “If the world had S’more dads like you, it would be sweet.”
  • “I donut know what I’d do without you.”
  • “I love you from my head tomatoes.”
  • “Let’s taco ’bout how much you rock.”
  • “You’re nacho average Dad!”
  • “Dad, you’re a really fungi.”
  • “I love you, just in queso you didn’t know.”
  • “It sounds cheesy, but you’re the grate-est.”
  • “Our family would be muffin without you.”
  • “As a grill master and dad, you’re a rare find.”
  • “This might sound cheesy but you’ve got a pizza my heart!”
  • “You can be a real pizza work, and sometimes you bacon us crazy, but we love you anyway.”
  • “Thanks for pudding up with me, Dad, and for being my biggest flan!”
  • “Love you, dad, Pho real.”
  • “Hi Dad, thanks for constantly chicken on me. Because of you, I turned out well done.”
  • “You did a grape job raisin me, Dad.”
  • “Dad, you’re shrimply amazing.”
  • “Thank you for always being a soup-er Dad.”
  • “You are cereal-ously the best.”
  • “I can’t espresso how much you mean to me.”
  • “I could never wine about you, Dad.”
  • “Have a beer-y happy Father’s Day.”
  • “Hey, Dad — it’s cool that you’re Old Fashioned.“
  • “Everything I brew, I brew it for you, Dad.”
  • “Happy Father’s Day — don’t worry, be hoppy.”
  • “Just don’t Pop believing.”
  • “Dad, your puns are my favorite, and it’s knot even close to a tie.”
  • “I wish you a fan-stache-tic Father’s Day.”
  • “You’re a tee-riffic dad.”
  • “Happy Father’s Day — let’s par-tee.”
  • “Wood you believe how much I love you?”
  • “Happy Father’s Day to a reel awesome dad.”
  • “You’re the brightest light in my life, Dad. I love you watts and watts.”
  • “To my favorite grill master: You’re flippin’ awesome.”
  • “Happy Father’s Day! You’re Dad to the bone.”
  • There’s a big difference between bad jokes and dad jokes. And that difference is the first letter.
  • Dad: I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro, it’s a total rip-off.
  • My son wants 50% of my Father’s Day gifts. He says if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even be a father.
  • You can tell it’s almost Father’s Day. The kids suddenly want to stop at all the garage sales.

Do you have some other Father’s Day jokes that we missed? Share them in the comments so we can get a good laugh too!

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