65+ Hilarious Cowboy Jokes From the Wild West [Free Joke Cards]

Last Updated on February 3, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Giddie up, Partner! Brace yourself for a wild ride through the Wild West with these fun and entertaining cowboy jokes. These jokes are funnier than a coyote trying to outrun his own tail. So pull up a log and remove your hat as you get ready to laugh all night long with these cowboy jokes that are sure to make you laugh.

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Underneath those ten-gallon hats are some of the sharpest tongues on this side of the Mississippi that are ready to laugh. See if you can crack a cowboy smile with these cowboy jokes.

Now, these aren’t just any old cowboy jokes. These are top-notch, straight-from-the-horse’s-mouth, howl-at-the-moon-in-delight kind of jokes. They’ll have you laughing harder than a bronco busting out of its pen.

Some of them are so good, you’ll think we found ’em in a bandit’s loot stash. So, dust off your boots, straighten your Stetson, and prepare for a comedy shootout that will leave you grinning like a possum eating a sweet potato!

For more laughter and fun don’t forget to two step on over and check out our Shark Jokes and our Bear Jokes.

 
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Best cowboy jokes

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  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Heywood. Heywood? Heywood you hand me that lasso?
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome chili to me.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Howey. Handsome who? Howey pardner.
  • Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my gold.
  • Which kind of dinosaur can be found at a rodeo? A bronco-saurus!
  • What do you call a really happy cowboy? A jolly rancher!
  • What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex!
  • Which Hollywood cowboy is the best at starting campfires? Flint Eastwood!
  • What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of trumping? Darn Tootin’!
  • How did the cowboy set fire to his chaps? He was riding on the range!
  • Which is a cowboy’s favorite soccer team? Spurs!
  • Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny? Because he was always horsing around!
  • What do cowboys put on their salads? Ranch dressing!
  • What did the cowboy say to the artist? Draw!
  • How did the cowboy save so much money? His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day!
  • What do you call a cowboy who teaches acting and singing? A stage coach!
  • Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class? Because they’re always rounding things up!
  • Which Hollywood cowboy is always broke? Skint Eastwood!
  • What is the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill? A dollar bill is good for 4 quarters.
  • What’s the difference between a crybaby and Dallas Cowboys fans? Eventually, the baby stops crying.
Orange horseshoe on white background with brown border and cowboy joke.
  • Why did the bow-legged cowboy lose his job? He couldn’t keep his calves together!
  • What illness can cowboys catch from their horses? Bronc-itis!
  • Why do cowboys always ride horses? Because they’re far too heavy to carry!
  • What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common? Both, don’t deliver on Sundays.
  • What does a cowboy eat before a rodeo? Bullogna.
  • What do you call a bull that fell asleep at the rodeo? A bulldozer.
  • What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument? Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!
  • How did the cowboy know his cattle were following him without even looking? He herd them!
  • Where do cowboys cook their beans? On the range!
  • What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat? Time to get a new cowboy hat!
  • What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe? His horse is walking around in his socks!
  • What did the young cowboy say when his dog went missing? Doggone!
  • How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb? They don’t. They just talk about when it did work.
  • Never by a blanket from the Dallas Cowboys secondary… …they can’t cover anybody!
  • What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl? Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.
  • Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys is the most authentic fan experience in sports. Just like them, you too can watch the playoffs from the comfort of your couch at home.
  • What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl? The Dallas Cowboys.
  • Where did the cowboy drive his cattle to? Moo York!
  • How do cowboys keep their cattle keep quiet? Press the moooote button!
Cowboy boot with cow pattern and star spur on white background with brown border and cowboy joke.
  • Where do cowboys take their herd for lunch? To the calf-eteria!
  • How do cowboys keep their cattle relaxed? By playing them some calming moooosic!
  • Two cowboys are stranded in the desert… One cowboy sees a tree covered in bacon in the distance. He gets all excited and runs toward the bacon tree… As he reaches the bacon tree he gets shot to death. It turns out it wasn’t a bacon tree…
  • It was a hambush!
  • Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick? Goth Brooks
  • What do you call a rodeo bull with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
  • What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex.
  • What did the egg say to the rodeo clown? You crack me up!
  • What do you call a retired cowboy? De-ranged.
  • A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon… …He says, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw”
Brown horse on white background with brown border and cowboy joke.

One-Liner Cowboy Jokes

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  • We might be Bonnie and Clyde right now, but I just want to ride the horse with our little guns.
  • You can go with me to the dark places where the bandits lurk, and the cowboys laugh in vain.
  • Are you a cowboy because you can ride with me all night toward the end of our paradise?
  • The cowboy still has nightmares about the worst job he ever had in a record factory making country music records: Howdy pressing!
  • I’m making a new cowboy film called “The Sun”: It’s set in the west!
  • Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on – he didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
  • We can run away with my dark horse and live in our own paradise for the rest of our lives.
  • Besides, the scenery would brighten considerably if you came along.
  • You can probably go with me to the west coast along with thousands of horses chasing us.
  • You know what they say about a man with a large belt buckle.
  • You might want to spend the rest of this striking starry night with a handsome cowboy like me.
  • A three-legged dog walked into the saloon and said, “I’m alookin’ fer the man what shot my paw!”
  • I want to sing with the cactus and see your beauty shine across the desert, my dear cowgirl.
  • This golden sunshine makes your beauty become more radiant than ever, my beloved cowgirl.
  • I might have looked like Woody, but you must know that you’ve not just got a friend in me.
Horseshoe on white background with brown border and cowboy joke.

Did you enjoy our Round-Up Cowboy Jokes? Do you have some other favorites that we missed? Share them in the comments so we can laugh with you!

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