125 Funny Pirate Sayings

Last Updated on June 13, 2021 by Michele Tripple

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Aaarg Matey! You’ll feel like you’re swabbing the deck and searching for buried treasure when you read these pirate sayings! Grab the list of the top funny pirate sayings here!

The Silliest Funny Pirate Sayings

My kids have been obsessed with pirates lately. I’ve been looking for a way to add a little pirate fun to everything, including adding some funny pirate sayings to my vocabulary as well as some fun pirate jokes!

And let me just tell you, get ready to be a “cool mom” because my kids go crazy every time I use one of these pirate sayings!

I’ll be honest, I thought it was a little silly at first. But after putting on a makeshift eye patch and pretending to sword fight with my kids, I found myself really getting into the pirate spirit and giggling along.

Let loose and try some pirate sayings out from my list below! And if your kids are really obsessed with pirates think about throwing a fun pirate birthday party while you are at it!

More quotes and sayings posts you’ll love 

Ways to Use Pirate Sayings in Play

Kids learn as they play and have a chance to be creative. So something as small as a list of funny pirate sayings can be a whole learning opportunity!

Here’s a few ways that you can incorporate these pirate sayings into your play routine to make your day extra fun:

However you decide to use the pirate sayings, you won’t regret adding the extra magic and fun into your day!

125 Funny Pirate Sayings

“Not all treasure is silver and gold.”

– Pirates Of The Caribbean 

I just want to be a pirate…

But I couldn’t get my ship together.

Live in the sunshine, swim in the ocean and drink in the wild air.

– Emerson

Under a black flag we sail and the sea shall be our empire.

If I download a movie in Jamaica…

Am I a pirate of the Caribbean?

No cause is lost if there is but one fool left to fight for it.

May your anchor be tight, your cork be loose, your rum be spiced and your compass be true.

– Danny Taddei

Keep Ca….

Why is the rum gone?

I don’t give a ship!

If rum can’t fix it, you are not using enough rum.

The rougher the seas, the smoother we sail. Ahoy!

Keep calm…

and say Arrr!

Right from the Voyage of Noah, surviving was by sailing. Avast ye! and sail against the tides.

Will Turner: You cheated!

Jack Sparrow: Pirate?

A Pirate’s favorite movie is one that is rated “ARRRR”!

To life, love and loot.

– Captain Morgan

To err is human but to arr is pirate!!

Money can’t buy you happiness…

But it can buy you rum!

Time flies when you’re having rum!

Be who you arrrr…

Keep calm and…

Raise the Jolly Roger!

May your blade always be wet, and powder dry.

– Captain O’Dunne

Pirate code: Ne’er say thank you.

Say: I’ll kill you tomorrow.

The cure for anything is saltwater, sweat, tears or the sea.

– RobynNola.com

There comes a time in most men’s lives where they feel the need to raise the Black Flag.

– Capt. D.

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.

– Jack Sparrow

Loot is first and wimmen second. Because if ye have the first ye’ll have the second, but if ye have the second ye won’t have the first for long!

– Linda Meilink

Keep calm and…

drink a bottle of rum.

Don’t ever let people that see what’s in your left hand, see what’s in the right…

– Lee Davies

You arrrrrr my most sought after treasure!

I’m not drunk!

I just walk and talk like Captain Jack Sparrow!

There comes a time in most men’s lives where they feel the need to raise the Black Flag.

–  Capt. D.

Drinking rum before 10:00am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.

When a pirate grows rich enough, they make him a prince.

– George R R Martin

Ye can have me booty but leave me chest alone!

I am a man of fortune and must seek my fortune.

– Captain Henry Avery

Sailors tell stories.

Pirates make legends!

Ahoy! Let’s trouble the water!

– Bella De Pirate

I feel underdressed without some pirate garb.

– Lisa Kessler, Pirate’s Passion

When I grow up,

Aye wanna be a pirate!

There is nothing like the smell of cannon fire in the morning.

– Nyre Rose

Of course you had a choice, Riden. You just had a hard one. And you chose the easy option, which was to do nothing.

– Tricia Levenseller, Daughter of the Pirate King

Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring.

So I go back to being a pirate.

My mom would not let me see the pirate movie because it was rated rrrrr.

– aaannnttt

Pirates never go shopping.

Unless by shopping, you mean pillaging.

Avast ye landlubbers! Ye can throw ye lunch in Davy Jones’ locker, but not yer homework!

– Steven

Only pirates can get away with saying “Yo ho”!

Always be yourself, unless you can be a pirate…

Then always be a pirate.

Sometimes it just takes a pirate to get the  job done.

Take what you can, give nothing back.

– Pirates of the Caribbean

What happens on the boat stays on the boat.

Work like a captain, play like a pirate.

The captain is always right.

Keep calm and…

say ‘Arrr’.

All for rum and rum for all!

The new Pirates of the Caribbean film is rated “Arrrrr”

Arrrgh means “I Love You” in pirate.

Life’s pretty good, and why wouldn’t it be? I’m a pirate, after all.

– Johnny Depp

Actually, I quite fancy you from time to time. When you’re not yelling at me.

– Captain Killian Hook, Once Upon a Time

Who is a pirate’s favorite Star Wars character?

Arrrgh-2 D2

There is something I must tell you…I am not left- handed!

– The Princess Bride

Could you please tell me that PIE – RATE?

You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow.

– Pirates of the Caribbean

You just have no right to violate any one’s PIRACY!

You can always trust the untrustworthy because you can always trust that they will be untrustworthy. It’s the trustworthy you can’t trust.

– Captain Jack Sparrow

Stop being like a Des – PIRATE person.

Eat like a king, swear like a sailor and…

drink like a pirate!

Why are pirates better than everyone else?

They just Arhhhhhhhhh…

I just PIRATE you from the depth of my heart !

Piracy is the way o life. Ahoy.

Earth PIRATES on its axis!

Drink up me hearties yo ho …a pirates life for me!

You can negotiate?

– Captain Jack Sparrow

A pirate is a man that is weak to achieve but too strong to steal from even the greatest achiever.

Pirates wash their hands because germs are everywhere.

Fetch me another Cabin Boy…This one be split!

– Yellowbeard

Even pirates need to clean their room!

A pirate is for life, not just for Christmas!

If ye can’t trust a pirate, ye damn well can’t trust a merchant either!

Even pirates need to take baths.

Land was created to provide a place for boats to visit.

Every salty pirate needs a beautiful mermaid.

It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy.

– Steve Jobs

Even pirates wash their booty!

I may be a pirate, but I bristle at the thought of a woman losing her heart. Unless it’s over me.

– Captain Killian Hook, Once Upon a Time

Yarrrr! There be only two ranks of leader amongst us pirates! Captain and if you’re really notorious then it’s Cap’n!

Share everything and become a pirate!

It is when pirates count their booty that they become mere thieves.

– William Bolitho

Arr! I just met ye, and this be crazy, but here’s me number, so call me, matey!

A friend can betray you, but an enemy will always stay the same.

It’s all fun and games.

Until someone needs an eyepatch!

Where there is a sea there are pirates.

– Greek Proverb

Run? I thought you said rum!

I’m a pirate, a weather beaten pirate, am sailing foreva!

You had me at ahoy!

The existence of the sea means the existence of pirates.

– Malayan Proverb

Touch my loot, feel my boot!

Cruise like a sailor…

Party like a pirate!

What’s a pirate’s favorite fast food restaurant?

Arrrrbys!

I am the reason Roger is jolly.

Why be a princess…

When you can be a pirate!

Why do we need Algebra?

Finding X is only important if you are a pirate.

I’m an instant pirate, just add rum!

I found this humerus!

May your anchor be tight, your cork be loose, your rum be spiced, and your compass be true!

A smooth sea never made a skilled pirate.

Ah. Love. A dreadful bond.

– Davy Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean

In politics and in trade, bruisers and pirates are of better promise than talkers and clerks.

– Ralph Waldo

Arrr we having fun yet?

Every generation welcomes the pirates from the last.

– Lawrence Lessig

Q. What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?

A. The plank

It is when pirates count their booty that they become mere thieves.

– William Bolitho

One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.

The rougher the seas, the smoother we sail. Ahoy!

Let’s jump on board, and cut them to pieces.

– Johnson 81

There’s very little admirable about being a pirate. There’s very little functional about a pirate. There’s very little real about a pirate.

– Will Oldham

I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about.

– Daniel Handler

But… why is the rum gone?

In civilizations without boats, dreams dry up, espionage takes the place of adventure and the police take the place of pirates.

– Michel Foucault

But the pirates never showed, and the slaves found themselves trapped on a narrow peninsula. (Lesson: never trust pirates.)

– Erik Sass

The pirate, he will sink you with a kiss, he’ll steal your heart and sail away.

– Joni Mitchell

The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a Pirate.

– Bernard Williams

Pirates could happen to anyone.

– Tom Stoppard

It is a glorious thing To be a Pirate King.

– W. S. Gilbert

I don’t really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I’d be a contrarian pirate.

– Todd Barry

What pirate sayings would you add to the list? Share in the comments!

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