99 Funniest Laffy Taffy Jokes That Are Super Sweet

Last Updated on February 2, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Whether you’re sweet or spicy, put the “laffy” in your jokes with these hilarious Laffy Taffy Jokes for Kids!

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It doesn’t matter what time of year it is; my kids consider themselves candy connoisseurs. Because they also love jokes, Laffy Taffys rank high among their favorites. They love unwrapping each piece and enjoying the joke while they feast!

Even though jokes can be cheesy, we think they’re a great way to laugh away a frown.  The best thing about Laffy Taffy is that they’re perfect for all ages…so long as you have teeth! Check out our Hilarious Candy Jokes or Spooktacular Halloween Jokes for Kids for more sweet smiles (no teeth required!).

 
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Best Laffy Taffy Jokes

Ready to enjoy some of the best laffy taffy jokes? We have a whole list right here to make you giggle as you enjoy your favorite snack!

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  • What is a owl’s favorite subject? Owlgebra
  • In what month do people talk the least? February – it’s the shortest month in the year.
  • Which runs faster, hot or cold? Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
  • What does Christmas have to do with a cat in a dessert? They both have sandy claws.
  • What did the hippy paper say to the hippy pen? Write-on
  • Why did the matador trade his swords for a gun? He wanted to shoot the bull.
  • Do doctor’s make housecalls? Yes, but your house has to be really sick.
  • Why did the pig go into the kitchen? It felt like bacon.
  • What were Tarzan’s last words? “Who greased the vine?”
  • Why did the boy throw butter out his window? Ae wanted to see a butterfly.
  • What is a paradise? Something you see in Paris.
  • Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
  • Which garden has the most vegetables? Flash garden
  • What did the noodles say to the butter? Don’t try and butter me up.
  • How many vampires does it take to put in a light bulb? None, Vampires like the dark.
  • What is the best way to keep water from running? Don’t pay the water bill.
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  • What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
  • What did John do when his dog ate his science book? He took the words right out of his mouth.
  • Why is it so hot in stadium after a football game? All the fans have left.
  • Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found? Because he’s always spotted.
  • When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.
  • Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.
  • When does it rain money? When there is a change in the weather.
  • Which are the stronger days of the week? Saturday and Sunday-the rest are weekdays.
  • What did Delaware? A brand New Jersey
  • What do pigs give on Valentines day? Valenswines.
  • Why did the old woman tie skates on the rocking chair? Because she wanted to rock and roll.
  • What do you get when you send a cow to Alaska? Cold Cream
  • What do astronauts eat for dinner? Launch meat.
  • What is yellow and wears a mask? The lone lemon.
  • What does a bee sit on? His bee-hind (behind).
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  • Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself? He had no body to go with him.
  • Why was the policeman in bed? Because he was an undercover cop.
  • Where do cows to to have fun? The moo-vies.
  • What starts with “T” is full of “T”, and ends with “T”? A teapot.
  • What did one window say to the other window? I am in “pane”
  • Teacher: Johnny, what is the definition of infinity? Tonight’s homework assignment.
  • Why did the apple turnover? Because he got jealous for the jelly roll.
  • What did the little boy tell the game warden? His dad was in the kitchen poaching eggs.
  • What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.
  • What do you call a mean-tempered horse? A nightmare!
  • Where do fish sleep? In a water bed!
  • Why did the elephant decide not to move? Because he couldn’t lift his trunk.
  • How do sheep get clean? They take a baa-aa-aa-th.
  • What did the judge say to the racket? We will send you to court.
  • What kind of teeth can you buy with a dollar? Buck teeth.
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  • Why was the ocean arrested? Because it beat upon the shore.
  • What flies and helps people? A helicopter
  • What kind of plant do you put in a cake? Flower.
  • Why don’t ducks tell jokes while they are flying? Because they would quack up.
  • How do small children travel? In mini-vans.
  • What has hands, but cannot clap? clock
  • What do you watch on TV in the morning? A breakfast serial (cereaL)
  • Why did Billy take a ruler to bed with him? To see how long he slept.
  • How do you get the water into watermelon? Plant it in the spring.
  • Why was the boy covered in gift wrap? His mom told him to “live in the present”
  • Why couldn’t Mozart fin his teacher? Because Mozart’s teacher was Hayden.
  • What is the definition of a farmer? Someone who is outstanding in his field.
  • What did one casket say to the other casket? That you coffin?
  • What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo? A “pouch” potato.
  • Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.
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  • What do you call a bird with glasses? A bird watcher.
  • Why didn’t the duck cross the grill? He didn’t want to be roast duck.
  • What does a chicken and a band have in common? They both have drumsticks.
  • What is a buckaneer? Expensive corn.
  • How do you get an alien baby to sleep? You rocket
  • What does a television have in common with a rabbit? His ears!
  • What makes music on your head? A head band!
  • What did the crop say to the farmer? Why are you always picking on me?
  • What is green and pecks on a tree? Woody wood pickle.
  • How do mules open locked barns? With don-keys.
  • What did one autumn leaf say to another? I’m falling for you!
  • What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
  • What do you get with a fly, a pet, and a car? A flying car pet!
  • Why did the mother cat move her kittens? She didn’t want to litter.
  • What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porkypine.
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  • Which candy can’t get anywhere on time? Choco-late!
  • Where does an alien get its milk? From the Milky Way.
  • Where do you find pre-historic cows? In a mooseum!
  • What did the tree say to the wind? “Leaf” me alone!
  • What kind of key doesn’t open a lock? A monkey.
  • Why do some people never go bald? They have a re-seeding hairline.
  • Why did the little mouse run away from home? Because his father was a rat.
  • Why did the sun go to school? It wanted to be brighter.
  • Do you know what Mary had when she went to dinner? Everybody knows, Mary had a little lamb.
  • What did one penny say to the other? Let’s get together and make some sense.
  • Why don’t lobsters share? Because they are shellfish.
  • What did one triangle say to the other triangle? Let’s get together and square dance.
  • What is labor day? That’s when mommies have their babies.
  • Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don’t work
  • What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
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  • What happened to the wind? It blew away.
  • When was meat so high? When the cow jumped over the moon.
  • Why is the baker so mean? Because he beats the bread.
  • What is a fish’s favorite country? Finland
  • Why was the cat afraid of the tree? He was afraid of the bark!
  • What does a pig put on his cut? Oinkment.
  • Why did the ghost sing off key? He left his sheet music at home.
  • What’s the best way to brush your hare? Hold him firmly by his long ears and brush gently.

Do you have even more fun laffy taffy jokes? Share them in the comments!

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