175 Epic Ninja Jokes For Kids

Last Updated on January 31, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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What is a ninja’s favorite drink? WA-TA! Ready for some laughs with the kids, these ninja jokes for kids are the perfect jokes to make the kids kick with glee! So put on your sneakers and enjoy these ninja jokes.

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Jokes are the perfect way to laugh with the kids! Sure they may be a little cheesy but they are pretty much guaranteed to get you and the kids laughing together!

Don’t worry you won’t have to sneak around when telling these jokes because they are clean and wholesome jokes that everyone can enjoy together! So don’t get your nunchucks out to protect yourself from these jokes! Want even more laughs, check out our dinosaur jokes and our pirate jokes.

 
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The Best Ninja Jokes For Kids

Ninja kicking with blue border and ninja joke
  • If a ninja kills in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? No, it makes a corpse!
  • What do you call two ninjas? A pair of sneakers!
  • How does a ninja deal with fear? He gives it to others!
  • How many ninjas does it take to change a lightbul– Where’d that lightbulb come from??
  • What’s a ninja’s favorite soda? SLICE!
  • How do you wake a ninja? You don’t! It’s a decoy! Your throat’s cut!
  • How does a ninja pick up women? It’s easy once they’re lifeless!
  • What is a ninja’s favorite sound? Does tempered steel on Adam’s apple count?!
  • If you could be any type of ninja, what type would you– Too late! You’ve been killed by a real ninja!
  • Do ninjas believe in God? The more important question is, DO YOU???
  • How do you give a ninja directions? Don’t worry, he’ll find you!
  • What do you use to hunt a ninja? Your life!
  • How will you know when you’ve met a ninja? The grim reaper will tell you!
  • What’s a ninja’s favorite sport? You and everyone you care about!
  • How does a ninja change a tire? He waits for you to change yours, then your life and your car are his!
  • How much do you pay a ninja for a job– Aaaaaaaand your money’s gone.
  • A ninja, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Good to see you two!”
  • What’s a ninja’s favorite vacation spot? Whatever yours was!
  • How many throwing stars does a ninja have on him? None, they’re all on you!
  • How does a ninja celebrate your birthday? Atop your grave!
  • What do you call a surprise party for a ninja? A surprise mass funeral!
A ninja landing with blue border and ninja joke
  • There are two kinds of ninjas in this world. The kind that’s right behind you, and–
  • If a ninja is on a train traveling 50 mph from Chicago to Denver, how long before you notice everyone on board is dead and you’re all alone?…
  • Why can’t ninjas trace? Because it’s impossible for them to leave one!
  • How do you know when a ninja’s drunk? He’ll kill both of you!
  • If a ninja has five apples and he gives one to Jim and one to Susie, how many apples does he have left? Five. And two corpses.
  • What is a ninja’s favorite book? The one you’re currently distracted by!
  • What is a ninja’s preferred airline? SLICED AIRWAYS!
  • How many ninjas do you need for a band? Just one, a ninja can easily kill a whole band!
  • Why don’t ninjas watch sad movies? They’re too sensei-tive
  • Why are the best martial artists, such good singers? They really know how to BELT it out.
  • What do ninja’s drink during the summer? Karah Tea
  • Why did the ninja go to college? He wanted to be a ninja-neer.
  • Why was the ninja told after his job interview? You’re Hy’aad!
  • What’s a ninja’s favorite Halloween game? Hide-and-ghost-seek!
  • Where do ninja get supplies? The Stealth Food Store
  • What was the ninja’s reply when Charlie Brown asked him for a kite? I have nun-chuck.
  • Where do ninja zombies train? On a ninja training corpse.
  • What do you call a red-haired ninja? A ginga.
  • What do you call a ninja ruler? Lur-king.
  • Why do ninja’s make good Halloween guests? They’re great at carving Jack-o-lanterns!
Ninja meditating with blue border and ninja joke
  • What did the ninja sing after beating an army of skeletons? Bad to the Bone
  • Why did the bad guy cross the road? To get away from a ninja!
  • What did the ninja bring to the Christmas party? Ninjabread men.
  • What do you call a surprise party for a ninja? A very bad idea!
  • How do you ask a ninja to leave? Say Ninjago!
  • Why was the ninja kicked out of Hollywood? For throwing stars!
  • What football position do ninjas like most? Kicker
  • What do ninjas order at restaurants? Swordfish
  • What do ninjas like to play during recess? Ninjump-rope
  • What did the pirate ninja say to the buccaneer? Ninjarrrrrrrrrgh.
  • What does a Ninja order at Burger King? A whop- paa!! (joke courtesy of D. Kennedy)
  • What was the ninja doing on the island of Sodor? He wanted to be an ninja-neer.
  • Why did the foolish ninja stare at the orange juice can? Because it said ‘concentrate’ on it.
  • What is a Ninja’s favorite drink? Wataaaaa (water)
  • What is a ninja’s favorite drink? Punch
  • Why don’t ninjas make such good singers? Nobody can hear whisper songs.
  • How does a ninja say hello? Hi-yaaaaaaaaaa!
  • Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, But Jack can’t jump a ninja kick.
  • What is the only thing zombies are afraid of? Zombie Ninjas
  • Why don’t ninjas watch sad movies? Ninjas make sad stuff smell their stinky socks!
A ninja meditating with blue border and ninja joke
  • Can a ninja be fearless? No. They scare themselves.
  • What shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers
  • Where do ninjas get snacks? From your plate.
  • Why can’t ninjas really be zombies? You can’t say shhhhhh, with no lips.
  • What do you call a ninja with 8 older brothers? A Nine-ja
  • Ninjas can hear so good… they can hear bees burp.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? The ninja told her to.
  • What do you call a surprise party for a ninja? Nothing, it’ll never happen.
  • How do you tell a ninja to get lost? Ninja-go!
  • Why can’t ninjas be in a movie? They keep throwing stars.
  • What is a ninja’s second favorite fish? Starfish.
  • What games do ninjas win on the play ground? All of them.
  • Ninjas run so fast… they get there yesterday.
  • What is the only thing stronger than a ninja? Two ninjas
  • Ninjas jump so high… they go down.
  • How do ninjas get across the ocean? Flying Side Kick
  • Ninjas hear so well… they can hear sign language.
  • Ninjas are so scary… they make onions cry.
  • How high can a ninja count? To infinity, 2 times
  • Who finds Waldo every time? A ninja. Nobody hides from a ninja.
A ninja with swords with blue border and ninja joke
  • Ninjas are so accurate… they can kick a cyclops between the eye.
  • What’s the only think the Hulk can’t smash? A ninja!
  • Why can’t you beat ninjas in a race? They’re already there.
  • Ninjas are so nimble they can climb a rope… without a rope.
  • When monsters go to sleep they check under their beds… for ninjas.
  • Ninjas are so quiet… they can speak braille.
  • Ninjas pop wheelies… on unicycles.
  • Why don’t ninjas build ladders out of chopsticks? Because ninjas don’t use ladders.
  • Why don’t Ninjas hide? Nobody would dare to see them.
  • Why don’t ninjas read watches? They decide what time it is.
  • Why do ninjas always write in permanent ink? Ninjas don’t make mistakes.
  • What happened when the tooth fairy took the ninja’s tooth? The ninja took it back.
  • Once, a ninja thought he was wrong, but he made a mistake.
  • Why are ninjas always early? Time can’t catch up.
  • Ninjas are so good at math… they can count by zeros.
  • Ninjas are so famous… Spiderman has a ninja poster on his wall.
  • Why don’t ninjas don’t read books? Books give up the information willingly.
  • Why won’t ninjas fly on airplanes? They only slow them down.
  • How many moves does it take for a ninja to win at Connect Four? Three
  • What is the only thing that can find a ninja hiding in a room? A mirror
A ninja with blue border and ninja joke
  • Who are the only ones that can beat ninjas at chess? Themselves
  • What are the Olympic Games? Warm-ups for ninjas.
  • When a ninja couldn’t learn anything from a library… she side kicked it so hard it became a school.
  • How much wood could a ninja break with one kick at a belt test? All of it.
  • Ninjas order peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at McDonald’s… and get them.
  • Ninjas don’t do push-ups… they move the earth up and down.
  • When ninjas stub their toes… offee tables jump around crying.
  • Ninjas can make 3 point shots in the Staples Center in Los Angeles… from the half court line in Madison Square Garden in New York City.
  • Ninja masks don’t have to be held in place by anything… they are too scared to move.
  • If at first you don’t succeed… you know you’re not a ninja.
  • You might think you’ve found a good hiding place from a ninja… but the ninja got there first.
  • Ninjas lead their horses to water… and make them drink.
  • What is a ninja’s favorite element on the periodic table? The element of surprise.
  • Ninjas CAN… judge books by their covers.
  • Forests aren’t being cleared for farmland… ninjas just need more boards to break.
  • Ninjas use nightlights, but not for themselves. The dark is afraid of them.
  • In a fight between Batman and Spiderman… a ninja would win.
  • Ninjas don’t look both ways before crossing the road… you can’t squish a ninja.
  • When ninjas do long division… there are no remainders.
  • A ninja times a ninja equals… a ninja. There is nothing greater than a ninja.
A ninja landing with blue border and ninja joke
  • Ninjas win NASCAR races… without a car.
  • When a sign says ‘one per customer’ at a store… ninjas take two.
  • Why can’t ninjas fart? Nothing escapes a ninja.
  • Ninjas sleep with a pillow… under their swords.
  • Aliens do exist. They just don’t come to earth. They’re scared of ninjas.
  • What is the first letter of the alphabet? A Ninja
  • What is the last letter of the alphabet? Zinja
  • Who would lose between ninjas and The Justice League? Everyone on the planet, except the ninjas.
  • Ninjas don’t really like Karate. They just hate boards.
  • Ninjas can’t have heart attacks. Hearts aren’t silly enough to attack a ninja.
  • Why did the ninja cross the road? No one knows. No one has the courage to ask.
  • Why don’t you need to call a ninja on the phone? They are already behind you.
  • What makes the world go around? Ninjas doing warm-up laps
  • Love conquers all… except ninjas.
  • What is the meaning of life? Ninjas
  • Ninjas know all of the… digits of pie.
  • What’s invisible and smells horrible? Ninja farts
  • Ninjas can stir so fast… they can unscramble eggs.
  • What kind of ball do ninjas play soccer with? A bowling ball
  • Descartes said, “I think therefore I am… afraid of ninjas.”
Ninja jumping with blue border and ninja joke
  • What happens if a ninja knife-hand chops a twenty dollar bill? It turns into 400 nickles.
  • What toys do ninja babies like to play with? Yours
  • If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Yes. Who do you think side kicked it down in the first place. Ninjas.
  • When ninjas sneeze… their eyes stay open.
  • When someone yells, “Last one in is a rotten egg!” Ninjas are never rotten eggs.
  • What do ninjas dress up like for Halloween? Ninjas
  • Ninjas don’t sleep… they wait quietly.
  • The fences at the zoo are not to keep the animals in. They are to keep the ninjas out.
  • How do you wake up a ninja? You mean the one standing behind you?
  • Why can’t you give ninjas directions? They are already there.
  • There are two kinds of ninjas in the world. The one you don’t see.
  • And the one behind you.
  • Who do ninjas consider their best friends? Yours
  • What is a ninja’s favorite drink? Kara Tea
  • Why can’t ninjas draw well? It is impossible for them to leave a trace.
  • Why do monsters hide in the closet? Because ninjas hide under their beds.
  • Why did the ninja get chased by the grocery store security guard? He whipped the cream and beat the eggs.
  • Why did the ninja sneak into the castle to take a shower? He wanted a clean getaway.
  • What did the ninja say when he stole someone’s cheese sauce. Nacho Cheese!
  • What do you get when a ninja cow practices jumping kicks? A milk shake
  • Why did the ninja run around the bed? To catch up on some sleep.
Ninja sneaking with blue border and ninja joke
  • What do ninjas like to help teachers with in school? Hole punching
  • What is a ninja’s favorite kick to do in bad weather? Tornado kick
  • How did the ninja make an octopus laugh? Gave it ten-tickles.
  • What made the ninja laugh so hard when he climbed the mountain? It was hill-arious.
  • What did the ninja do to the man in the photo that got the him sent to jail? He framed him
  • What do you call a ninja fart? Silent but deadly
  • Where does a ninja take someone on a first date? Don’t you mean … A LAST DATE?!
  • What’s the first thing you do when you wake up after sleeping with a ninja? Wake up?!
  • How does a ninja make friends? He takes yours!
  • What’s a ninja’s favorite song? “Pieces Of You” by Jewel!
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other option was crossing a ninja!
  • How will you know when you’ve met a ninja? You won’t, but I’ll pass the message on to your next of kin!
  • What do you say to a ninja with no arms, no legs and no weapon? Nothing, he’s already killed you!
  • What do you get when you cross a ninja with a– Too late, you’re dead! NEVER CROSS A NINJA!

Did we forget some fun ninja jokes for kids? Leave them in the comments so that we can add them to the list!

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