Happy Wednesday, friends! Ready to rock hump day? Well, these Wednesday jokes will surely help you get some laughs. So get ready to celebrate that you are halfway through the week.
Wednesdays are the day that I feel like we come alive. We got through Monday with our Monday jokes, tip-toed through Tuesday, and now we are dusting off the cobwebs to dive into the weekend.
So let’s dive headfirst into these Wednesday jokes one joke at a time and embark on the whimsical world of Wednesday jokes. So buckle up because it is no longer just hump day but also full of humor!
Love jokes? Get more laughs by exploring our Corn Jokes and our Animal Jokes.
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Best Wednesday jokes
Boss: This is the third time you’ve been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?
Me: That it’s only Wednesday
A man goes into a fish n chip shop with a salmon under his arm and asks, ‘Do you sell fish cakes here?’
‘No,’ came the reply. ‘Shame, it’s his birthday.’
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Ahh, those were the days.
Three old ladies are sitting on a bus
The third one says – yeah, I’m thirsty too, we should buy something to drink.
The first one says – it’s windy.
The second one says – it’s not Wednesday, it’s Thursday.
People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him,
and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday.
Q: Why don’t they have Drivers Ed on Wednesday in the Middle East?
A: It wears out the camel.
Q: How does Adele greet Wednesday from a Sunday?
A: “Hello from the other side of the week!”
Me and my childhood crush are getting married next week.
Me on Wednesday and she on Saturday.
Q: Why did the man have an un-inviting face in office?
A: Because it was his Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday face.
Q: Why was the man happy about Ash Wednesday?
A: Because he wished to give up his work for lent.
Q: What is hump day like for the working parents?
A: A Wednesday that never leaves them alone with never-ending work.
Q: Why did the employee get a camel in the office building?
A: Because the boss said, ‘Bring in the hump day’.
Q: What did the student say when they had too much homework on Wednesday?
A: This is the Monday-est Wednesday ever!
Q: What did the tree say to Wednesday?
A: Please, leaf me alone.
Q: How did the man react when his boss exclaimed, “What a week full of work, right?”
A: He looked in disbelief saying, “It’s only Wednesday”.
Q: Why are Superman’s powers useless on Wednesday evenings?
A: Because he goes to his weekly Bitcoin meeting and it’s his crypto-night.
Wednesday and Thursday were named after the Norse Gods Odin and Thor…
And if you really enjoy facts about Norse Gods then today is your Loki-day!
Q: What is it that the Wednesdays’ dream to be?
A: They only dream and wish of becoming Thursdays.
A man named Jim goes to a religious centre and the leader says “What’s wrong my son?”
“I don’t know”, says Jim, “it isn’t until next Wednesday”.
Jim says “I want you to pray for my hearing”.
The leader puts his hands on Jim’s ears and prays hard for ten minutes.
“So how is your hearing?” asks the vicar.
A man walks into a bar with a pork pie on his head.
Sheepishly, the man says, “Man, I must look like a real fool.”
The barman asks, “Why are you wearing a pork pie on your head?”
The man replies, “It’s a family tradition. We always wear pork pies on our heads on Tuesday.”
The barman remarks, “But it’s Wednesday.”
I joined a Karate class and told the Sensei I wanted to learn how to do roundhouse kicks.
He asked me how flexible I was and I replied I can’t train on Wednesdays and Fridays.
A Husband came home late at night from the office one day and realised he forgot his Wife’s birthday…
“How would you feel if you don’t see me for the next few days?” His wife said
On Thursday the swelling was better as he caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his left eye.
He couldn’t believe his luck. He replied at once. “Wowww…..That would be great!”
Monday passed and he didn’t see her….
Tuesday he didn’t see her…
and Wednesday passed too…
My mate has two tickets for the England vs Croatia game on Wednesday.
He didn’t realize that it was going to be on the same day as his wedding, so he can’t go.
If you’re interested and want to go instead of him, it’s at St. Andrew’s Church in Cambridge and her name is Sarah.
Wife: Don’t forget to pick up the kids from school.
Wife: It’s Wednesday and we’ve three kids.
Me: It’s Saturday, they’re both upstairs.
I rang work and I said “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”
The boss said, “You have a wee cough?”
I said “Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!”
Q: What’s Thanos’ favorite holiday?
A: Ash Wednesday
I was reading my emails…
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said; “Ms. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I’m afraid you’re just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK.”
And I thought to myself, doesn’t OK look like a sideways person?
Ash Wednesday was yesterday so my family is going to be eating a lot more legumes.
Mostly lentils.
Monday – Greg
There – the Gregorian calendar
Tuesday – Ian
Wednesday – Greg
Thursday – Ian
Friday – Greg
Saturday – Ian
Sunday – Greg.
On Ash Wednesday I will be giving up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights.
It’s going to be completely Excel Lent.
ATTENTION: This afternoon I will attempt to travel back in time and change history.
You’ll know I’ve succeeded if Germany loses world war II and Wednesday comes after Tuesday.
Q: What are Wednesdays like?
A: They are just Mondays in the mid-week.
Q: Why are Sundays stronger than Wednesdays?
A: Because Wednesday is a week day.
Q: Why did the woman cry on a Wednesday evening?
A: Because she thought it was whine Wednesday.
Q: What do camels sing on karaoke night?
A: My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps
Q: Why did the man call it a weekend on a Wednesday?
A: Because he said, “After two days it will be Friday, which makes tomorrow a pre-Friday, hence, it is a weekend on Wednesday”.
An intern asked his senior: “How do you make up for coming late to work on a Wednesday?”
The senior answered: “By leaving early, perhaps?”
Mother: ‘Why are you home from school so early?’
Son: ‘Who threw the blackboard duster at the teacher?’
Son: ‘I was the only one who could answer a question.’
Mother: ‘Oh, really? What was the question?’
A: I have the perfect son.
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
My new girlfriend works as a bin lady…
Trouble is, I can’t remember if I’m supposed to take her out Wednesday or Thursday.
Q: What kind of bread do you eat on Wednesday?
A: Hump-ernickel.
Q: Why didn’t ‘Mean Girls’ wear black on Wednesday?
A: Because they say, “We wear pink on Wednesdays”.
Q: What day creates the most alternative energy?
A: Winds-Day.
Q: How do you know that weddings on a Wednesday are sad?
A: When you see the cake is in tiers too.
Q: How do Ash Wednesdays inspire New Years’?
A: They help you to stay strong and give up on new year resolutions as a sacrifice.
Q: What is it that will help get over the hump?
A: A smile with an extra cup of coffee!
Q: What is the best day to eat Camel meat?
A: Wednesday
Q: Why do Wednesdays feel unhappy?
A: Because they are as close to the weekend as they are to Mondays.
Q: What do you call a camel with no hump on a Wednesday?
A: Hum-phrey!
Q: What do you call Wednesdays at the gym for pirates?
A: Peg day.
Q: How does Yoda get through Wednesday?
A: By saying, “Half over the week is now!”
Q: How do people motivate themselves on Wednesdays?
A: They say, “Only two more days for the weekend. Keep it up!”.
Q: How do all the animals react to Hump day?
A: They try to avoid the camel all day long.
Q: If Johnny buys seventeen doughnuts every Monday and eats twelve of them each Wednesday, what is Johnny left with at the end of the year?
A: Diabetes
Do you have some humorous Wednesday jokes that we missed? Share them in the comments so we can laugh too!
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