The Best Water Jokes that Won’t Leave You Feeling Salty

Last Updated on February 1, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Jokes are a mom’s best friend! With a good joke, they can turn any frown upside down. That is why we are huge fans of these funny water jokes because they always come in handy at the beach, by the pool, during bath time, and anytime kids are sad around water.

a shallow focus photography oof water splash on half the image with a light turquoise background on the left with a white oval with yellow border with a image of a water drop holding a glass of water and light turquoise writing "the best water jokes"

These water jokes are great for kids and adults of all ages! They are clean and safe to tell kids, thank goodness, right?! But before you dive into these hysterical water jokes, you might want to check out our lemon jokes, our birthday jokes, or our Easter Jokes for kids.

 
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white writing "50+ best water jokes" with 3 red squares with a water jokes and answer in each square.

The Best Water Jokes

1 drop of water with a yellow border and a water joke.
  • Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  • If H2O means water, then what is H2O4? It is for drinking, swimming, of course.
  • Who performs operations in the water? A sturgeon.
  • Who cleaned the bottom of the sea? A Mer-Maid!
  • What does a Teacher give to her student’s grades underwater? She gives them all below C level. 
  • After the party, what does the ocean say to the shore? Sea you!
  • Which player holds water? The pitcher!
  • What does the sea say to the river? You can run, but you can’t tide.
  • How do you determine the gender of a starfish? If it floats on the water, it is buoyant.
  • Which rock does not like to swim underwater? Dry rock.
  • What did everyone say when the rainwater fell and died?  He would be MIST.
  • Why did the ocean break up with the pond? He thought she was too shallow.
  • What do mermaids sleep on? They sleep on waterbeds!
  • What type of hair did the ocean have? Wavy!
  • Why do scuba divers fall backward into the water? Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat.
  • What is the most hated subject of ocean creatures? Algae-bra.
  •   How do you get a water bed more bouncy? Add spring water.
  •   How does the faucet work with all its intricate mechanisms?  The mechanism works in sink.
  • What do you call a water marathon? A livestream.
  • Why did the melon jump into the ocean? It wanted to be a water-melon.
Water with a yellow border and a water joke.
  • What did the water say to his annoying friend? Water-ver!
  • Why is it always so noisy when there is an opera in the clouds? Because there are too many thunderclaps.
  • How does a cloud invest? Through liquid assets.
  • What do you call when raining coins? A change in the weather.
  • What does the ocean do when communicating? Nothing, it just waves.
  • Who keeps the ocean clean?  The janitor fish.
  • Why do the 2 fish bump into each other? They don’t sea each other.
  • What does the Step mom say to her daughter? “Well, well, well”
  • How do oceans like their news? Current.
  • What is the favorite snack of a snowflake? Icebergers.
  • What did the ocean tell his friend? He asked it to show his mussels.
  • If orange soda dropped in the ocean and it went orange, what would you call it? A Fanta-Sea.
  • How did the crab get to the ocean? By shell-icopter.
  • Why did the fish not like to swim in the jacuzzi?  Because it was too bubbly.
  • What keeps the ocean intact and does not let the water leak out? Because the ocean has seals.
  • What did one concerned river say to the other?  “Why are you so blue?”
  • Why did the ocean want to leave the party early? Because it was getting really tide.
  • What do you call a water body that is polite? Well-behaved.
  • How should a shark travel through an ocean? By roe-ing your boat.
  • What was the gender of the shark’s baby? A buoy.
water with a yellow border and a water joke.
  • What did the poor man do with his marvelous painting? He pond it.
  • What does the student fish get in their report cards? Their marks were below SEA level.
  • Where do aquatic animals store their valuables? In the river banks.
  • What kind of water does an Angel like? Holy Water!
  • Why did one fish disagree with the other? They did not sea the matter the same way.
  • Why do couples choose not to swim in the river? Because it is too mainstream.
  • What award was given to lake that is so polite? Well-behaved award.
  • What runs but never walks? Water
  • What is raining poultry called? Fowl weather.
  • What hairstyle does the ocean flaunt? Wavy hair.
  • What kind of water cannot be frozen? Hot water.
  • Which are the strongest creatures in the ocean?  Mussels
  • What did the man say when he fell into the river? Dam it.
  • Where do aquatic animals deposit their money? In river banks
  • When does the Pacific ocean have no water? When it’s on a map.
  • Why did the man throw a glass of water out the window? He wanted to see the waterfall.
  • What does a shark say when he’s confused? Can you please be more S-Pacific?
  • Where do mummies go swimming? The Dead Sea.
  • What do you call a hairy monster that lives in a river? A weir-wolf!
  • Where do fish go to wash their hands? To a river basin.
water with a yellow border and a water joke.
  • Why was the sky sad when it rained? It used to get the blues.
  • Why did the teacher scold the river? Because the river had a very dirty mouth.
  • Why did the ocean restaurant still keep going even after suffering losses? Because it was serving the “porpoise”.
  • Why did the ocean dislike her classmate? Because he was too shallow.
  • What do you call raining candies? Sprinkles
  • Which section of the newspaper did the seaweed search for jobs?  Kelp wanted.
  • What do you call a famous well? Well-known.
  • Where can raindrops file an argument? The Supreme Quart.
  • Why are oceans too careful? They are Pacific.
  • What would you call the citizens of Paris going for a bath in the river? In-Seine.
  • How did the boiled water pay for her new house? With hydrogen bonds.
  • What kind of precipitation does a king like? Hail.
  • What kind of exchange medium do raindrops use? Rain check
  • What will happen if you drop your white hat into the Black Sea? Nothing other than it getting wet.
  • What kind of precipitation does the queen like? Reign.
  • Which fishes lay at the bottom of the ocean? The ones which dropped out of their school.
  • What did the woman say when she heard that river joke? It is a dam good one!
  • What is the process of throwing money in the river called? Cash flow.
  • What did the swan say before leaving the lake? Aboat time.
  • What did the beach say to the tide when it came in? Hey! Long time, no sea. 
water with a yellow border and a water joke.
  • What does a mermaid use to call her friends? Through shell phone, of course!
  • Why does ice cream always get invited to the sea? t’s cool.
  • What do you pay to spend a day on the beach? Sand dollars.

Have the perfect water joke to add to the list? Share in the comments below so we can add it!

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