Marriage can be hard at times, lighten it up a little and laugh with these hysterical husband wife jokes to take a moment and stop stressing during the difficult moments.

When I was little I dreamt of marriage. Of course, it would be perfect. He would sweep me off my feet, we would never fight, and we would live happily ever after. Can we all insert just a little bit of laughter? LOL. After being married for much of my life, I have realized that it is HARD, but oh so worth it. As I have grown, I have come to know that laughter is the best medicine to help us through the most trying times. I have relied on some good husband wife jokes to laugh off those difficult times to enjoy marriage again!

Check out some of our favorite marriage jokes and if you are looking for jokes for kids, we have those too!

Quick Husband Wife Jokes

• Why did the husband bring a ladder to dinner?
  Because his wife said the stakes were high.
• Why did the wife laugh at her husband’s joke?
  Because she’s heard it a hundred times.
• Why did the husband do the dishes?
  Because it was his turn… eventually.
• Why did the wife check the fridge again?
  Because husbands never see what’s right in front of them.
• Why did the husband ask his wife for directions?
  Because she’s always right.
• Why did the wife smile at dinner?
  Because her husband tried cooking.
• Why did the husband look confused at the grocery store?
  Because the list said “just a few things.”
• Why did the wife laugh during movie night?
  Because her husband fell asleep.
• Why did the husband bring flowers home?
  Because he forgot something.
• Why do married couples laugh so much?
  Because they know each other too well.

Top 10 Husband Wife Jokes

1. Why did the husband clean the house?
   Because company was coming.
2. Why did the wife hide the snacks?
   Because husbands eat everything.
3. Why did the husband ask his wife where things are?
   Because she knows where everything is.
4. Why did the wife laugh at the husband’s cooking?
   Because it was “creative.”
5. Why did the husband apologize quickly?
   Because he wanted dinner.
6. Why did the wife smile during the argument?
   Because she knew she’d win.
7. Why did the husband ask what’s for dinner?
   Because that’s his favorite question.
8. Why did the wife roll her eyes?
   Because her husband made another dad joke.
9. Why did the husband ask if the store was closed?
   Because he forgot the groceries.
10. Why do husbands tell so many jokes?
    Because wives hear them first.

Funny Marriage Jokes

11. A husband said he’d fix something…
    Eventually.
12. A wife asked if he listened…
    He said “Of course!”
    Then asked the question again.
13. The husband tried cooking dinner…
    Takeout saved the day.
14. The wife said “It’s fine”…
    It was not fine.
15. The husband said he’d remember…
    He wrote it down just in case.
16. The wife asked for help…
    The husband brought snacks.
17. The husband said he’d clean later…
    Later meant tomorrow.
18. The wife organized the house…
    The husband lost everything again.
19. The husband asked where his keys were…
    They were in his pocket.
20. The wife asked if he heard her…
    He said yes… maybe.
21. The husband said “I’ll be quick”…
    Thirty minutes later.
22. The wife said “Do whatever you want”…
    Careful decision time.
23. The husband asked where the remote was…
    He was sitting on it.
24. The wife said the house was messy…
    The husband didn’t notice.
25. The husband asked what’s wrong…
    The wife said “Nothing.”
26. The wife said she wasn’t hungry…
    Then ate his fries.
27. The husband said he was listening…
    But missed the whole story.
28. The wife asked if he liked dinner…
    He said “It’s great!”
29. The husband said he’d remember…
    Then set a reminder.
30. The wife laughed…
    Because marriage is funny.

Husband Wife Puns

31. Marriage is commit-mint.
32. Love is pair-fect.
33. That joke was spouse-tacular.
34. That humor was ring-tastic.
35. That laugh was marry-mazing.
36. That moment was love-ly.
37. That joke was couple-approved.
38. That humor was date-lightful.
39. That punchline was heart-warming.
40. That laugh was relationship-ready.
41. That moment was ring-credible.
42. That joke was love-tastic.
43. That humor was marry-vellous.
44. That laugh was couple-funny.
45. That moment was date-mazing.
46. That humor was heart-tastic.
47. That punchline was spouse-approved.
48. That laugh was romance-ready.
49. That joke was love-mazing.
50. That humor was couple-perfect.

More Husband Wife Jokes

51. The husband looked for his phone…
    It was in his hand.
52. The wife asked what he was doing…
    He said “Nothing.”
53. The husband said he’d help…
    Eventually.
54. The wife organized the closet…
    The husband couldn’t find anything.
55. The husband asked what’s for dinner…
    The wife said “Food.”
56. The wife asked for quiet…
    The husband told a joke.
57. The husband said he’d remember…
    He set three reminders.
58. The wife asked if he was listening…
    He nodded confidently.
59. The husband checked the fridge…
    Five minutes later he checked again.
60. The wife said the house was messy…
    The husband said it looked normal.
61. The husband told another dad joke…
    The wife rolled her eyes.
62. The wife said she was tired…
    The husband suggested pizza.
63. The husband said he’d fix it…
    The toolbox came out.
64. The wife asked if he read the instructions…
    He said “Maybe.”
65. The husband tried to help cook…
    The smoke alarm joined in.
66. The wife asked for help cleaning…
    The husband grabbed a snack first.
67. The husband said the movie was great…
    He slept through half of it.
68. The wife planned the weekend…
    The husband asked what the plan was.
69. The husband asked where his shoes were…
    They were by the door.
70. The wife laughed…
    Because married life is funny.
71. The husband told a story…
    The wife had heard it before.
72. The wife asked a question…
    The husband guessed the answer.
73. The husband tried fixing the sink…
    The plumber came later.
74. The wife suggested a walk…
    The husband brought snacks.
75. The husband forgot the groceries…
    Again.
76. The wife reminded him…
    Again.
77. The husband asked what time dinner was…
    The wife said “Soon.”
78. The husband checked the fridge…
    Still empty.
79. The wife suggested ordering pizza…
    Problem solved.
80. The husband laughed…
    Because marriage is teamwork.
81. The husband asked what’s next…
    The wife had a plan.
82. The wife laughed at his joke…
    Eventually.
83. The husband said he’d cook…
    Takeout arrived.
84. The wife asked if he liked the show…
    He was asleep.
85. The husband asked what’s happening…
    The wife explained again.
86. The wife laughed…
    Because he tried.
87. The husband said he’d help…
    He brought snacks.
88. The wife asked if he cleaned…
    He started now.
89. The husband asked where things go…
    The wife pointed.
90. The wife smiled…
    Because marriage is fun.

91. The husband told another joke…
    The wife sighed.
92. The wife asked if he remembered…
    He checked his phone.
93. The husband suggested dinner…
    The wife agreed.
94. The wife planned the trip…
    The husband packed snacks.
95. The husband asked what time it was…
    Dinner time.
96. The wife asked if he was ready…
    Almost.
97. The husband said he finished…
    Almost.
98. The wife laughed again…
    Because he tried.
99. The husband smiled…
    Because she laughed.
100. The wife smiled…
     Because marriage is funny.
101. The husband said “I love you”…
     The wife smiled.
102. The wife said “Thanks”…
     The husband grinned.
103. The husband told another joke…
     The wife laughed.
104. The wife shared a story…
     The husband listened.
105. The husband brought snacks…
     Always helpful.
106. The wife made dinner…
     Everyone happy.
107. The husband joked again…
     Eye roll included.
108. The wife laughed…
     Because she loves him.
109. The husband laughed too…
     Because marriage is fun.
110. Why are husband wife jokes so funny?
     Because married life is full of laughs.

111. Husband: “Do you think I’m a bad listener?”
     Wife: “What?”
112. Wife: “I asked you to get six eggs.”
     Husband: “So I got twelve because they were buy one get one free.”
113. Husband: “What’s for dinner?”
     Wife: “Food.”
114. Wife: “Did you take the trash out?”
     Husband: “I was just about to… eventually.”
115. Husband: “I cleaned the kitchen!”
     Wife: “You moved the mess.”
116. Wife: “Did you hear what I said?”
     Husband: “Yes… all the important parts.”
117. Husband: “I’m helping with dinner.”
     Wife: “By taste-testing?”
118. Wife: “Why are you opening the fridge again?”
     Husband: “Just checking if something new appeared.”
119. Husband: “Marriage is teamwork.”
     Wife: “Good, you can start with the dishes.”
120. Husband: “Do you still love me?”
     Wife: “Of course… but you’re still doing the laundry.”

What husband wife jokes would you add to the list? Share in the comments!

Looking for other great marriage posts? Check out these!

• Flirty Texts to Send
• 30 Ways to Spice up Your Marriage
• 21 Ways to Spice up the Bedroom
• Love Coupon Book

Check out these Jokes

Jokes for Kids

• The Best Jokes for Kids
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• Funny Lunch Box Jokes
• Earth Day Jokes for Kids
• Bear jokes for Kids
• Birthday Jokes
• Fall Lunch Box Jokes
• Halloween Lunch Box Jokes
• Thanksgiving Lunch Box Jokes
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• Christmas Lunch Box Jokes
• Spring Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
• Pirate Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
• Easter Jokes + Printable Lunch Box Cards
• Gardening Jokes + Printable Cards
• Airplane Jokes for Kids
• Fish Lunch Box Jokes + Printable Cards
• Apple Jokes
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• Pig Jokes
• Bacon Jokes
• Lemon Jokes
• Road Trip Jokes
• Camp Jokes
• The Best Graduation Jokes
• Water Jokes for Kids
• Dinosaur Jokes
• Donut Jokes
• Candy Jokes for Kids
• Computer Jokes for Kids
• Clown Jokes for kids
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• Crab Jokes for Kids
• Turtle Jokes for Kids
• Ninja Jokes for Kids
• Hockey Jokes for Kids
• Turkey Jokes
• Ghost Jokes
• Football Jokes
• Pumpkin Jokes for Kids and Adults
• Skeleton Jokes
• Cow Jokes
• Halloween Jokes for Kids
• Disney Jokes for Kids
• Elk Jokes
• Robot Jokes
• Lighthouse Riddles, Jokes and Puns
• Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids
• Santa Jokes
• Elf on the Shelf Jokes
• Christmas Tree Jokes
• Snow Jokes
• Reindeer Jokes
• Christmas Jokes
• Elf Jokes
• Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
• Chicken Jokes
• Dad Jokes
• Cat Jokes
• Duck Jokes
• Chemistry Jokes
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• Guess Who Jokes
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• Winter Jokes
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• Harry Potter Jokes
• Egg Jokes
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• Bee Jokes
• Frost Jokes
• Summer Jokes
• Elephant Jokes
• Animal Jokes
• Corn Jokes
• Shark Jokes
• Frog Jokes
• Father’s Day Jokes
• Monday Jokes
• Wednesday Jokes
• Pizza Jokes
• Farmer Jokes
• Taco Jokes
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• Bird Jokes
• Back to School Jokes
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• Star Wars Jokes
• Corny Jokes
• Cowboy Jokes
• Bible Jokes
• Best Friday Jokes
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Jokes for Adults

• Bald Jokes
• Flirty Knock Knock Jokes
• Husband Wife Jokes
• Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend
• Jokes to Tell a Girl
• Funny Jokes to Tell Your Crush

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