100 Awesome Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend

Last Updated on July 3, 2021 by Michele Tripple

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When there is a lull in the conversation when dating, sometimes you just need a good joke to get the conversation started again! These Jokes to tell your boyfriend will get him laughing and talking in no time! Add these to our jokes to tell your crush for even more laughable fun together!

Want Even More Jokes? Try these!

Jokes to Tell Your Boyfriend

Q. Why should you never break up with a goalie?

A. Because he’s a keeper.

Q. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? 

A. A maybe.

Q. What did one boat say to the other boat?

A. “Are you interested in a little row-mance?”

Q. How much money does a pirate pay for corn?

A. A buccaneer.

Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?

A. A pork chop.

I love you with all my butt.

I would say my heart, but it’s just not as big.

Q. What do you call an everyday potato?

A. A commentator.

You are like my asthma.

You just take my breath away.

Q. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A. A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.

You are like dandruff.

I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

Q. What did the atom say after losing an electron?

A.  ‘I really gotta keep an ion them.’

Q. Guess what’s on the menu?

A. Me-n-u.

Q. Why did the scarecrow win an award? 

A. Because he was outstanding in his field.

You are just like my car.

You drive me crazy.

Q. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?

A. There was nothing left but de Brie.

Q. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a condom?

A. Condoms have changed. They’re no longer thick and insensitive!

Q. Why did the can crusher quit his job? 

A. Because it was soda pressing.

Q. Why are boyfriends like parking spaces?

A. The good ones are already taken!

Q. How do astronomers organize a party?

A. They planet.

Q. What is the difference between a bike and a boyfriend?

A. A bike is first kicked and then used. A boyfriend is first used and then kicked.

Q. Are you French?

A. Because Eiffel for you.

Q. Did you hear about the porcupine who was near-sighted?

A. He fell in love with a pincushion.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. Why do painters always fall for their models?

A. Because they love them with all of their art.

Q. How can you tell if your boyfriend is happy?

A. Who cares?

Q. Are you a cat?

A. ecause I’m feline a connection between us.

It was so hot today…

I almost called my ex-boyfriend to be around something shady.

We’re not socks.

But I think we’d make a great pair.

Q. What do you call a man made of garbage?

A. Your ex-boyfriend.

I’m no photographer…

but I can picture us together!

Q. When would you want a man’s company?

A. When he owns it!

Q. Are you a parking ticket?

Because you have fine written all over you.

Q. How do you get your boyfriend to do sit-ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

Q. Are you from Starbucks?

A. Because I like you a latte.

Q. What does a good employee and a boyfriend have in common?

A. They’re always coming early.

Boyfriends are like blue jeans.

They look good for a while but, eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

Q. Are you a banana?

A. Because I find you a peeling.

Q. What does a boyfriend and mascara have in common?

A. They both run at the first sign of emotion.

Q. Is your name WiFi?

A. Because I’m really feeling a connection.

Q. What is the difference between a sofa and a boyfriend watching Monday Night Football?

A. The sofa doesn’t keep asking for beer.

Q. Are you a camera?

A. Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Q. What’s a boyfriend’s definition of a romantic evening?

A. Sex.

Q. What’s a boyfriend’s idea of honesty in a relationship?

A. Telling you his real name.

Q. Do you have a bandage?

A. Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Q. Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven?

A. Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

Q. Do you know what my shirt is made of?

A. Boyfriend material.

My boyfriend likes to eat vegetables that look like him for dinner.

Good thing he’s a cute-cumber.

Q. Do you play soccer?

A. Because you’re a keeper!

Love is like having to pass gas.

If you force it, you are going to make a mess.

Q. Are you a florist?

A. Cause ever since I met you, my life has been rosy.

Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think…

Damn. He is one lucky man.

Q. Is your nickname Chapstick?

A. Because you’re da balm!

My boyfriend started a bee farm to help save the bees.

I think he’s a keeper.

Q. You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together?

A. I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend.

He keeps asking for another shot.

Q. Do you know what I did last night?

A. I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

My boyfriend told me to stop impersonating flamingos.

I had to put my foot down.

Q. Is your name Dunkin?

A. Because I Donut want to spend another day without you.

My boyfriend and I always laugh about how competitive we are.

But I laugh harder.

Q. Do you like Star Wars?

A. Because Yoda only one for me!

My boyfriend accidentally poked me in the eyes.

So, I stopped seeing him for a while.

Call me Shrek…

Because I’m head ogre heels for you!

My boyfriend knows how understanding I am.

That’s why he always calls me Miss Understanding.

If kisses were snowflakes,

I’d send you a blizzard!

I invited my boyfriend to go to the gym with me, and then I didn’t show.

I hope he gets the message that we’re not working out.

Q. Do you like Mexican food?

A. Cause I want to wrap you in my arms and make you my BAE-RITTO.

Q. What’s the difference between bleach and fabric softener?

A. My ex-boyfriend now knows the answer.

Q. Why is Spider-Man a bad boyfriend?

A. He’s super clingy.

Q. What happened to the two vampires who went on their first date?

A. It was love at first bite!

I think you are suffering…

From a lack of vitamin me.

Q. Are you a cat? 

Cause you are purrrfect.

I want to be the reason who makes you look down at your phone and smile…

And then walk into a pole.

Q. What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor? 

A. Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.

Q. What’s the difference between a toddler and your boyfriend?

A. I don’t know, do you?

Q. What did one volcano say to the other volcano?

A. I lava you.

Q. Who wears the pants in our relationship?

A. We prefer when neither of us is wearing pants.

Q. Do you want to know why I plan on no longer using Google anymore?

A. Because after all this time that I have spent searching, I have found the love of my life and it is you.

Q. Why should you never marry a tennis player?

A. Because love means nothing to them!

Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a microwave?

A. A guy will press all the buttons on the microwave to get it heated.

Q. How did the telephone propose to its girlfriend? 

A. He gave her a ring.

Q. How can you get your boyfriend to do some sit-ups?

A. Place the remote control for the TV between his toes!

There’s no need to repeat yourself.

I ignored you just fine the first time.

Q. Are you a magician?

A. Because whenever I look at you, the rest of the world disappears.

Q. Who knew I would be an organ donor so early in life?

A. I already gave my heart to you.

Q. Why do only 10 percent of boyfriends make it to heaven?

A. Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

It may sound cheesy…

But you’ve stolen a pizza my heart.

Q. Why are boyfriends like lawnmowers?

A. They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time.

Q. How do boyfriends exercise on the beach?

A. By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini!

A boyfriend is like an iPhone.

Even if you drop and break it, it still works!

Q. Can I tie your shoes?

A. Cause I don’t want you to fall for someone else.

Boyfriend: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?

Girlfriend: Yes, it is February 14th.

Q. What’s the difference between a couch and a boyfriend watching sports?

A. Nothing, they’ve become one with each other.

Relationships are a lot like algebra.

Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

Q. What’s the difference between love and marriage?

A. Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener!

Q. What does the ghost call his true love?

A. My ghoul-friend.

Q. What do you do if someone thinks an onion is the only vegetable that can make someone cry?

A. Throw a coconut in their face.

You must be peanut butter.

Because you make my heart jelly.

Q. What book do women like the most?

A. Their boyfriends paycheck!

This might sound cheesy…

But I think you’re grate.

Q. Your boyfriend doesn’t get your fruit puns?

A. You got to let that mango.

What jokes would you tell your boyfriend? Add them in the comments!

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