140 Guess Who Jokes That Are Hillarious!

Last Updated on February 28, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Guess what? We are ready to share some funny jokes that are sure to make you laugh! If you are ready, these guess who jokes and guess what jokes are just what you are looking for to laugh like you have never laughed before!

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Jokes are one of the best ways to relieve stress as well as bond as a family. They make for great icebreakers as you laugh together. These guess what jokes are sure to make your friends and family laugh.

So guess what? Get ready to laugh because these guess what jokes are just what you have been searching for!

 
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The Best guess who jokes

guess who joke with owl saying "guess who" on white background with teal border
  • Military was standing outside my house, guess what I did? I-ran
  • I got a wooden bike with wooden handles and wheels, guess what? It woo-den start.
  • The shooter is opening a new store, guess what he named it? Target.
  • Guess what, Facebook. I’m not going to tell you what’s on my mind today.
  • Guess how do you keep an elephant from charging?  Take away his credit card!
  • Guess why elephants are so wrinkled? Because they take too long to iron!
  • I recently went to a restaurant, they poisoned my tiramisu. Guess what? I tiramisued them.
  • I won a rain dance competition, guess what I got? Pneumonia.
  • Can you guess why the bear failed the exam? Because of his big pause!
  • One really famous tortoise lives next door, guess what it’s called? A shellebrity
  • Guess who Dracula brings with him to movie premieres? His ghoul-friend!
  • The frog parked his car in the swamp, guess what? It got toad.
  • Guess what the fish said when he swam into a wall? Dam.
  • Guess what I’m going to do if I get Alzheimer’s? Guess what I’m going to do if I get Alzheimer’s?
  • Guess what Santa calls his elves? Subordinate Clauses!
  • I was dreaming of an orange ocean tonight. Guess what? It was a Fanta Sea.
  • Guess what the calendar worker got fired for? He took a day off without telling anyone!
  • The mathematician served something special for dessert. Guess what? It was a pi.
  • A boy went up to the counter serving orange punch. He saw there was a huge line and so, he came back after an hour. Guess what? There was no punchline.
  • If they used money in space, guess what it would be called? Starbucks
guess who joke with owl saying "guess who" on white background with teal border
  • Guess what you call a sleeping piece of paper? A napkin.
  • It’s always coming but never comes, can you guess what it is? Tomorrow.
  • Guess what has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
  • My doctor’s name is Doctor Pepper. Guess what? He’s a Fizzician.
  • Can you guess what the pickle did when he had a bad day? He knew he was in a pickle, but just dill-ed with it!
  • Two eggs went for a comedy gig, guess what one egg said to the another? “Let’s get cracking.”
  • Santa Clause’s elves went to school, guess what they learned? The elfabets.
  • The baby tomato was running late for school. Guess what his mommy said? “Come on, ketch-up!”
  • Guess what you get when you cross a Labrador with a magician’s trick gone wrong? A labracadabrador!
  • Guess what sits in a corner and still travels around the world? A stamp
  • Guess what I found in the creepy old professors’ closet? Narnia business.
  • I was trying to solve a few equations about circles. Guess what? It was pointless.
  • I noticed a Fairy Tale t-shirt at an extremely low price. Guess what? It was fair retail.
  • Guess why the glassblower went home early? He got a stomach pane!
  • There’s a place where the English and French live peacefully. Guess what? It’s Canada
  • I saw a cut pig in the market. Guess what? It was porkchopped.
  • I sneezed at the best time of the day. Guess what? It was at-choo-o’-clock.
  • The teacher said that he caught something. Guess what? He caught my attention.
  • The cook gifted his girlfriend something she would like. Guess what? An onion ring.
  • Guess why learning sign language is such a good idea? Because it is quite handy!
guess who joke with owl saying "guess who" on white background with teal border
  • One friend took the elevator while the other took the staircase. Guess what? Both were raised differently.
  • Guess what bands turbines love to listen to? Not sure, but they’re big heavy-metal fans!
  • The social media influencer had to take some meds, guess what happened? The posts went viral.
  • The gym instructor broke up with his girlfriend, guess what happened? It didn’t work out.
  • Once there was a fish with no eye, guess what they call it? Fsh
  • Guess what the chop said to the steak on their first date? It’s so nice to finally meat you!
  • The banana went to the doctor. Guess what happened? He was not peeling well.
  • Guess what coffee and motivational coaches have in common? They encourage people to espresso themselves!
  • A grumpy man spent an evening with his friends at a comedy club and asked his doctor for a course on antibiotics. Guess what for? He thought laughter was infectious.
  • My boss just came back from his holidays; guess what country he went to? To Boss-Bados
  • My twin brothers dressed up as a bird this Halloween, guess what they said? Trick or tweet.
  • A boulder, a pebble, and a stone walked into a concert, guess what they did? They rocked and rolled all night long!
  • Guess what the difference between a hotdog and a corndog is? One’s stuck up while the other is laid back!
  • Guess what happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
  • Two monkeys are sharing an Amazon account, guess what are they called? Prime mates
  • Guess what crime scene investigators do on their day off? They throw caution tape to the wind!
  • Guess what volcanoes do when they’re in love? They lava each other for a long time.
  • Guess what has no life but it still dies? A battery.
  • Guess what ghosts use to wash their hair with? They use sham-boo.
  • Guess what you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite
guess who joke with owl saying "guess who" on white background with teal border
  • I saw a fairy tale T-shirt at an extremely low price. Guess what? It was a fair retail.
  • A girl won a Scrabble tournament. Guess what she got? A re-word.
  • Guess what made the sea monster such a successful comedian? He was always kraken everyone up.
  • Guess what move pigs learn in martial arts class? The pork chop!
  • Guess what you get when you cross a comedian with a chicken? You get someone who loves cracking jokes!
  • I bought a wooden car, and guess what happened? It wood-en start!
  • The teacher said he caught something. Guess what? It was my attention.
  • I was trying to mimic a flamingo. Guess what happened? I had to put my foot down.
  • The cook gifted his girlfriend something she would like. Guess what? An onion ring.
  • I met a witch at the restaurant the other day, guess what she ordered? Spook-eti
  • Guess what I said to the man wearing a t-shirt? I said to him, “Sir, I believe your head is sticking out of your t-shirt!”
  • Guess what the reason is why some restaurants refuse to serve food to ducks? Because they don’t understand the meaning of putting something on their bill!
  • Guess what the reason was that the doves got arrested? Because they staged a coo!
  • Guess what you call a baby reindeer’s first teeth? Buck teeth!
  • Can you guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!
  • Guess what you get when you cross an angry mob with a herd of horses? A bunch of neigh-sayers.
  • Guess what makes the moon so cold? She’s always deflecting the sun’s rays!
  • Guess what the ship had to go to therapy for? He was a nervous wreck!
  • The sky had to pay its bills, guess what it gave? A rain check.
  • Santa Clause bought a motorbike on his way to the North pole, guess what it was? A Holy Davidson
guess who joke with owl saying "guess who" on white background with teal border
  • Guess what makes you go on red and stop on the green? When you’re eating a watermelon.
  • At the conference, the audience tried to pay but couldn’t, guess what? Attention.
  • Guess what kind of person won the very first no-bell prize? The person who invented knock-knock jokes.
  • The geese fell down the stairs and guess what? They ended up with goosebumps.
  • The girl asked why libraries are so strict, guess what answer the library assistant gave her? They always go by the book
  • Guess what the dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
  • An archer who won a gold medal is opening a new store. Guess what he named it? Target.
  • My mom is coming home after a work trip tonight, guess what I am getting? I am getting yelled at.
  • Guess what I have right now? Your ear!
  • Scientists experimented on a rabbit and a bug, guess what they get? A bugs bunny
  • Guess what? What? Good guess.
  • Guess what you call someone who never falls down the stairs? A stair-voyant!
  • Guess what you call a comedian who’s about to make a joke? Someone with a pun in the oven!
  • Guess what coffee and motivational coaches have in common? They encourage people to espresso themselves!
  • Guess what type of fish frequents the best reefs in the ocean? The sofish-ticated type!
  • Can you guess what cats and housewives love to consume? Cat-a-log’s, of course!
  • Guess what has two hands and a face but no legs and no arms? A clock.
  • The big bird was trying to open the door using the wrong key but couldn’t, guess what? He was using a tur-key
  • Guess what the name of my new computer processor is? Chip.
guess who joke with owl saying "guess who" on white background with teal border
  • Guess what number of pessimists it takes to screw in a lightbulb? None – they gave up
  • Guess what monkeys eat in space? Space bananas!
  • Guess what kind of hike I went on today? I hiked up my pants!
  • Guess what coat hangers do on the weekend? They hang out, of course!
  • I won a wet t-shirt competition. Guess what I got? Pneumonia.
  • Guess what method of transportation self-driving cars use on their day off? A human driver!
  • Guess what horses, donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep have in common? They’re all very stable animals!
  • Guess what you get when you cross a Pointer and a Setter dog with a Christmas wreath? A Pointsettia!
  • Can you guess what happened to the man who was addicted to doing the Hokey-Pokey? He turned himself around!
  • Can you guess what coat hangers do on the weekends? They hang out, of course!
  • Can you guess what the man did after he became vegan? He never made a missed steak again!
  • Can you guess what you get when you cross a jukebox with a fortune cookie? A 4-tune teller!
  • Guess what you call a regular potato? A common-tater!
  • There was a candy party, guess what was late as usual? Choco-late.
  • Guess what only goes up and never comes down? Your age.
  • bA latte
  • The broom was late for their witches’ meeting, guess what it said? Sorry I overswept!
  • Can you guess what kind of person you should never lie to? An x-ray operator – they can see right through you!
  • Guess what I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor! Everything.
  • Guess what was the reason the bear failed the exam? Because of his big pause!
  • Guess what makes Alpaca’s the best mom? Because they always Alpaca a home-made lunch for their kids!
guess who joke with owl saying "guess who" on white background with teal border

Do you have some other favorite guess who jokes or guess what jokes? Be sure you share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!

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