100 Knee-Slapping Hilarious Corny Jokes [Free Joke Cards]

Last Updated on February 3, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Ready for the cheesiest jokes around to really get you laughing? These corny jokes are just what you are looking for. Yes, you read that right. No sophisticated jokes here like lawyer jokes and graduation jokes. We are plunging headfirst into the best humor life offers, those corny jokes that everyone loves to hate but can’t stop laughing about!

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Corny jokes are the unsung heroes in the comedy world. They don’t need glitz or glamour or the spotlight. They have one purpose, to make everyone laugh until their belly hurts. So get your funny bone ready because these corny jokes will give it a workout.

Beware, you may see an eye roll or two when it comes to these jokes, but one thing is for sure, they will crack a lot of smiles. If you want more fun, easy humor, don’t forget to check out our dad jokes as well.

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Best Corny Jokes

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  • What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer
  • What do you cal a sad strawberry? A sad berry
  • What do the policeman say to his belly button? You are under a vest
  • How did the driver win the race? He knew and short cut
  • What job did the frog have at the hotel? Bellhop
  • Why did the bike fall over? It was too tired
  • What do you a fish without eye? FSH
  • What did the ocean say to the sand? Nothing it just waved
  • What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match
  • What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup
  • Why does Snoop Dog use an umbrella? For drizzle
  • What did the nose say to the finger? Stop picking on me
  • What do you call a pig does karate? A pork chop
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
  • What do runners eat before a race? Nothing they fast!
  • Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one
  • How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10 tickles
  • Why did the man get hit by the bike everyday? He was struck in a various cycle.
  • Why do you call a freshman in sandals? Phillipe Floppe
  • What do call a cow with no milk? A Milk dud
  • How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card!
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  • What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending!
  • Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
  • What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
  • What do you call a man that iron clothes? Iron Man!
  • What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain!
  • What do you call a row rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line!
  • Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs
  • Where does the eclectic cord go to shop? The outlet mall, of course!
  • What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback!
  • What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality!
  • Why can’t you trust the king of jungle? Because he’’s always lion!
  • Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left!
  • What kind of cheese isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  • Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level
  • Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? He was a little shellfish!
  • Did you hear about the population of Ireland’s capital? It’s Dublin!
  • What’s bear with no teeth called? A gummy bear!
  • What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music!
  • How do you make a Venetian blind? Poke him in the eyes
  • What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale!
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  • Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes thing personality!
  • Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost a C!
  • Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because otherwise they’d be call a bagel!
  • What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
  • Why are elephants wrinkly? Have your ever tried to iron one?
  • How do you impress a female baker? Bring her flours!
  • How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator!
  • How many lips does a flower have? Tu-lips
  • What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeno business
  • What did the cake say to the fork? Want a piece of me!
  • What do you call a group of unorganized cats? CAT-ASTROPHE!
  • When is a door not a door? When it’s jar!
  • Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his parents were in a jam!
  • Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honeycomb!
  • Why can’t you trust duck doctors? Because they’re all quacks
  • What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships!
  • How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
  • What do lawyers wear to work? Their lawsuits!
  • What did the bartender say to the ham sandwich who tried to order a glass of wine? “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
  • What did one tomato say to the other tomato during a race? C’mon, ketchup!
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  • What do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator!
  • What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  • Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? Because he couldn’t see himself doing it!
  • Why did the car jump in the shower? Because he wanted a clean getaway?
  • What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
  • How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
  • What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’ll go ahead!
  • Why did the restaurant hire a pig? Because he was a good at bacon
  • Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it would be a piece of cake! 
  • What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match!
  • How did the duck buy lipstick? She just put it on her bill!
  • Why should you avoid products with velcro? Because they’re a total rip-off!
  • Why does Waldo only wear stripped shirts? Because he doesn’t want to be spotted!
  • What did the termite say after walking into the bar? Is the bar tender here?
  • What happens when frogs park illegally? They get toad!
  • Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it”s pointless
  • Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
  • Why did the poor man stock up on yeast? To make some dough!
  • How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it!
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  • What happen when you witness an Apple store get robbed? You become an iWitness!
  • What kind of tree can fit inside your hand? A palm tree
  • What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
  • What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
  • A depresso!
  • How can you identify a Dogwood tree?
  • By its bark!
  • Why did the yogurt go to the museum? Because it was cultured!
  • What kind of room can’t you enter? A mushroom!
  • Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
  • Where did Noah keep his bees? In his ark hives!
  • What did the horse say after it tripped? Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
  • What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable
  • What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
  • Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  • What would bears be without bees? Ears.
  • Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.
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Hopefully you loved some of these corny jokes. Do you have some other corny joke favorites? Be sure to share them in the comments so we can crack a smile too!

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