50+ Best Guess What Jokes

Last Updated on January 23, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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“Guess what?” has to be one of the most frequently uttered phrases in a house with kids. These guess what jokes guarantee that something good is coming after that sometimes ominous question!

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We love telling jokes in our family. It’s always so much fun when the kids are old enough to understand what actually makes a joke funny. Even when the jokes aren’t new to me, I can get a new wave of enjoyment from them by watching my kids laugh!

Everyone in the family, from the youngest to the oldest, will enjoy getting the giggles from these silly jokes. 

For more kid-approved hilarity, check out our Knock-Knock Jokes and our Lawyer Jokes. And don’t forget to head over and check out our Guess What Chicken Butt Lyrics and video for even more laughs!

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Guess What Jokes

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  • A boulder, a pebble, and a stone walked into a concert. Guess what happened? They rocked and rolled all night long!
  • I got a wooden bike with wooden handles and wheels. Guess what? It woo-den start
  • An archer who won a gold medal is opening a new store. Guess what he named it? Target.
  • I opened the creepy closet. Guess what I found? Narnia business.
  • Guess what monkeys eat in space? Space bananas!
  • I won a rain dance competition. Guess what I got? Pneumonia.
  • A famous tortoise lives next door. Guess what it’s called? A shell-ebrity.
  • Guess what kind of hike I went on today? I hiked up my pants!
  • The frog parked his car in the no-parking zone. Guess what happened? His car got toad.
  • I was dreaming of an orange ocean tonight. Guess what? It was a Fanta sea.
  • I was trying to solve a few equations about circles. Guess what? It was pointless.
  • I saw a fairy tale T-shirt at an extremely low price. Guess what? It was a fair retail.
  • Guess what I have right now? Your ear!
  • There’s a place where the English and French live peacefully. Guess where? It’s Canada.
  • The mathematician served something special for dessert. Guess what? It was pi.
  • Guess what you call someone who never falls down the stairs? A stair-voyant.
  • I sneezed at the best time of the day. Guess what? It was at-choo-o’clock.
  • The teacher said he caught something. Guess what? It was my attention.
  • A boy went up to the counter serving orange punch. He saw there was a considerable line, so he came back after an hour. Guess what? There was no punchline.
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  • Guess what happened to the man who played board games all his life? He got bored with playing games!
  • A butcher went out on a date. Guess what he said? “Nice to meat you.”
  • Guess what method of transportation self-driving cars use on their day off? A human driver.
  • A young boy managed to get to the moon! Guess how he achieved this? He pressed the “SPACE” bar on his computer keyboard!
  • Guess what makes the moon so cold? She’s always deflecting the sun’s rays!
  • The panda was always getting locked up when he visited a restaurant. Guess what he did to deserve this? He asked if he could eat shoots and leaves!
  • The baby tomato was running late for school. Guess what his mommy said? “Come on, ketch-up!”
  • Guess what you call a comedian who’s about to make a joke? Someone with a pun in the oven!
  • A thief got caught stealing pizza. Guess what the police told him? His marinara rights.
  • I was trying to mimic a flamingo. Guess what happened? I had to put my foot down.
  • The banana went to the doctor. Guess what happened? He was not peeling well.
  • The toast was having a sleepover. Guess what he was wearing? His favorite pa-jam-as.
  • One friend took the elevator while the other took the staircase. Guess what? Both were raised differently.
  • Knick-knack paddywhack, guess what that old man gave his dog? He gave his dog a bone.
  • My boss just came back from his vacation. Guess what country he went to? Boss-bados!
  • A girl won a Scrabble tournament. Guess what she got? A re-word.
  • Guess what Santa calls his elves? Subordinate Clauses!
  • Guess what horses, donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep all have in common? They’re all very stable animals.
  • Guess what you get when you cross a German shorthaired pointer and an English setter with a Christmas wreath? A pointsettia.
  • Two doves got arrested. Guess what for? They staged a coo.
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  • Guess what the pickle did when he had a bad day? He just had to dill.
  • Guess what coffee and motivational coaches have in common? They encourage people to espresso themselves!
  • A grumpy man spent an evening with his friends at a comedy club and asked his doctor for a course on antibiotics. Guess what for? He thought laughter was infectious.
  • Guess what the ship had to go to therapy for? He was a nervous wreck!
  • Guess what made the sea monster such a successful comedian? He was always kraken everyone up.
  • Guess what happened to the man who was addicted to doing the “Hokey Pokey”? He turned himself around.
  • Guess what coat hangers do on the weekend? They hang out, of course!
  • Guess what type of fish frequents the best reefs in the ocean? The so-fish-ticated type.
  • Guess what move pigs learn in martial arts class? The pork chop.
  • Guess what bands turbines love to listen to? Not sure, but they’re big heavy metal fans!
  • Some aliens landed on Earth. Guess what the reason was? Because they wanted to be taken to our leader!
  • I won the annual winter water fight. Guess what I got? Pneumonia.
  • Guess what the name of my new computer processor is? Chip.
  • New York is going to the Halloween costume party, guess what he is dressing up as? New Orleans.
  • There was a certain knight who’d always endure all pains in battle. Guess what? He was a Sir Vivor.
  • Guess the difference between a hotdog and a corn dog? One’s stuck up while the other is laid back!
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Do you have any to add to this list? Share them with us in the comments!

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