120 Bible Jokes to Add Some Humor to Your Bible Study [Free Joke Cards]

Last Updated on February 3, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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Trying to connect with your kids or Sunday School class? These Bible jokes are sure to break the ice and inspire a little laughter. We have gathered some bible joke favorites that may just inspire a little heavenly song.

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The Bible is no joking matter. In fact, we probably love it as much as you. But at times, it is hard to connect with the kids and get them to dive in and really start reading! Sure, our Bible charades and Bible trivia have helped our kids really want to study, but sometimes a little humor can help as well.

That is why we have gathered some of the best Bible jokes to share. So if you need a good laugh, we Noah guy or a good Bible joke to help you connect with others in your home or at church. So get ready to flip those pages, part the Red Sea, and wander together to the Promised Land of laughter.

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Best Bible Jokes

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  • Where is the first math problem mentioned in the Bible? When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.
  • At what time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve.
  • How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? They were really put out.
  • What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
  • Why was Adam a famous runner? Because he was first in the human race.
  • What do we have that Adam never had? Ancestors.
  • Why was Adam created first? To give him a chance to say something
  • When was the longest day in the Bible? The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.
  • Why did God create man before woman? He didn’t want any advice
  • Where is the first mention of insurance in the Bible? When Adam and Eve needed more coverage.
  • Do you need someone to build an ark? I Noah guy.
  • God: “Whew! I just created a 24 hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.” Angel: “What are you going to do now?” God: “I’m tired, let’s just call it a day.”
  • What kind of person was Boaz before getting married? Ruth-less.
  • Who was the shortest person in the Bible? Knee-high-miah (Nehemiah).
  • How does Moses start his morning? Hebrews a pot of coffee.
  • Why doesn’t Jonah trust the ocean? He knows there’s something fishy about it.
  • Which king in the Bible preferred to do everything alone? King Solomon.
  • When did Cain forgive his brother? When he was Abel to.
  • Did Eve have a date with Adam? No, just an apple.
  • Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? He only had two worms.
  • Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham because he knew a Lot.
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  • Who was the best babysitter mentioned in the Bible? David. He rocked Goliath into a deep sleep.
  • How do angels greet each other? Halo, halo, halo.
  • What type of car does Jesus drive? A Christ-ler.
  • How did the 12 disciples travel? By driving a Honda. The Bible says they were all in one Accord.
  • Who was the funniest comedian in the Bible? Samson because he brought the house down.
  • Who are pastors called in Germany? German Shepherds.
  • Which Bible character is a locksmith? Zacchaeus.
  • Which Bible character didn’t have parents? Joshua, the son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
  • What’s the best way to study the Bible? You Luke into it.
  • Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was always standing on the deck
  • Who is the worst lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses because he broke all 10 commandments at once.
  • Why are atoms Catholic? Because they have mass.
  • Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? He only had two worms.
  • Did Eve ever have a date with Adam? Nope — just an apple.
  • Why did the unemployed man get excited while reading his Bible? He thought he saw a job.
  • Does God love everyone? Yes, but He prefers “fruits of the spirit” to “religious nuts!”
  • If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was a little lamb… Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
  • Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? Because they were using “fowl” language.
  • What’s so funny about forbidden fruits? They create many jams.
  • Which book of the major prophets is the easiest to understand? EZekiel.
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  • What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Absolutely ruthless
  • The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose. Mosquitoes come close, though.
  • What excuse did Adam give his children about why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home!
  • Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
  • Who was the first tennis player in the bible? Joseph because he served in Pharaoh’s court
  • Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? David — he rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep
  • Who was the greatest moneyman in the Bible? Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
  • Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of his head.
  • How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it, obviously.
  • Who do mice pray to? Cheesus.
  • How do you make Holy Water? You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.
  • How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel.
  • Why did God create man before woman? Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
  • Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.
  • Did you know they had cars in Jesus’ time? Yup. The Bible says the disciples were all of one Accord.
  • Why do they say ‘Amen’ at the end of a prayer instead of ‘Awomen’? Same reason we sing Hymns instead of Hers!
  • What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings.
  • Did you hear about the 1-800 service they have for atheists now? You dial the number and it rings and rings but nobody answers
  • Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.
  • On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks? Quackers.
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  • Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson — he brought the house down
  • Who was the best female finance lady in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet
  • What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds
  • When is medicine first mentioned in the Bible? When God gave Moses two tablets.
  • How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? By his net income.
  • What does God call his nose? God knows.
  • What’s a miracle that can be done by a complainer? Turning anything into whine.
  • What’s a missionary’s favorite type of car? A convertible.
  • Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side.
  • Why did the hawk sit on the church steeple? Because it was a bird of pray.
  • Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
  • How do we know Moses wore a wig? Because sometimes he was with Aaron and sometimes he wasn’t.
  • Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? The area around the River Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
  • When is the first math homework problem mentioned in the Bible? When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.
  • Why couldn’t the Israelites initially enter the Promised Land? It wasn’t the Pinky Promised Land.
  • Which Bible character was super-fit? Absalom.
  • Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? He thought he saw a job.
  • What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home.
  • Why are there no Hondas in the bible? Because Jesus never spoke of his own Accord.
  • Why didn’t Noah go fishing? He only had two worms.
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  • How do you know that atoms are Catholic? They have Mass
  • What did pirates call Noah’s boat? “The arrrrrrk.”
  • Why did Boaz hate lying? Because he loved truth.
  • Why didn’t anyone want to fight Goliath? It seemed like a giant ordeal.
  • What’s a believer’s favorite fruit? Spiritual.
  • What did Adam say to Eve when handing her something to wear? “Take it or leaf it.”
  • What’s a Christian’s favorite card game? Eucharist.
  • If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man? Because he would be several thousand years old.
  • What was the first word out of Adam’s mouth when he first saw Eve? Whoa man! Thus, the word “woman” was created.
  • What animal could Noah not trust? Cheetah.
  • Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? Because he knew there was something fishy about it.
  • Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
  • Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible? When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.
  • Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? Because Noah was standing on the deck.
  • Which biblical character was the youngest to speak foul language? Job, because he cursed the day he was born.
  • How do we know Adam was a Baptist? Only a Baptist could stand next to a naked woman and be tempted by a piece of fruit.
  • Who is the biggest sinner in the bible? Moses, he broke all the commandments at once.
  • There’s a lot of crossover between the Bible and Spongebob? Both are quite holey.
  • Who was the shortest man in the Bible? Nehemiah (knee-high-miah).
  • Who was the 1st surfer in the Bible? Paul. In Acts, he “came ashore on a board”!
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  • To what extent did Cain abhor his sibling? For whatever length of time that he was Abel
  • Which king in the Bible preferred to do everything alone? King Solomon.
  • How did the 12 disciples travel? By driving a Honda. The Bible says they were all in one Accord.
  • Which nursery song would Jesus have heard the most? Mary Had a Little Lamb.”
  • What types of boats do believers want to go on? Discipleship and worship.
  • Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled? The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.
  • Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go? He was in ‘de Nile.
  • Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York? She fell for the Big Apple.
  • Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of his head.
  • What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds.
  • Who were Gumby’s favorite Bible characters? Shadrack, Meshack & AhBENDago.
  • What kind of man was Boaz before he married? Ruthless.
  • Which Bible character was super-fit? Absalom.
  • What sort of lights were on Noah’s Ark? Floodlights.

Do you have any other favorite bible jokes? Be sure to add them to the comments so we can all enjoy them together!

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