160 Best Jokes for Teens That Are Fire

Last Updated on February 19, 2024 by Michele Tripple

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These jokes for teens are just what you are searching for! Thats right! These jokes are for the Tik-Tok-ing, meme-dreaming, funny video-watching, why is my wi-fi so slow teenagers. Prepare yourself because these jokes for teens are fire.

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Let’s be real: teen life sometimes feels like one long sitcom with episodes based on Shakespearan level love. To the next minute, something is so funny that you have milk coming out of your nose. So, we are here to help add a little humor to your life with these jokes for teens. They are sure to be just what the doctor ordered when it comes to relieving stress and heartache. Just imagine the retweets you will get with these jokes for teens.

So put your homework aside and take some time to laugh with these jokes for teens that may just be hotter than the latest TikTok dance trend!

If you need even more of a break, check out our Hard Riddles For Teens or our This or That Questions for Teens.

 
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Best Jokes for Teens

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  • What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
  • What do computers snack on? Microchips.
  • Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups? Because they can’t even.
  • What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
  • Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent pee.
  • When the grape was pinched, what did it say? Nothing; it just gave some wine.
  • Why was the Maths book sad? It had too many problems.
  • Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?  Because they keep breaking out!
  • Did you hear about the guy writing a construction book? He’s still working on it.
  • Why does recording a video take so much effort? Because you have to use a try-pod
  • What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyoncè.
  • How do basketball players always stay cool? They sit near their fans.
  • What did one light bulb say to the other? Watt’s up?
  • Where do the fruits go on vacation? Pearis
  • If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have? Big hands.
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  • What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it? An envelope.
  • What animal is the worst at hiding? The leopard — he’s always spotted.
  • What do you call a muddy motorcycle? A dirt bike
  • How do Minecraft players celebrate? They throw block parties!
  • Where can you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.
  • What can you catch but not throw? Your breath.
  • How does the moon cut its hair? E-clipse it.
  • What is a pig that knows karate called? Porkchop
  • Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
  • Why is the obtuse angle sad? Because it’s never right.
  • Where do cats go swimming? The kitty pool.
  • How did the beauty school student do on their manicure test? Nailed it!
  • What’s the creepiest part of a car? A starring wheel
  • What do pre-teen ducks hate? Voice quacks.
  • How do mountains keep themselves warm during winter? Snowcaps.
  • What bow can’t be tied? A rainbow!
  • Where do cows go on date night? To the moovies.
  • What kind of key can never unlock a door? A monkey.
  • Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank!
  • Why do kangaroo moms not like rain? Because they have to let the babies play inside
  • What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!
  • Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!
  • Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore.
  • How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
  • Who’s the thirstiest cell phone provider? Tea mobile
  • Why does no one make friends with Dracula? He is a pain in the neck.
  • Why did Adele cross the road? To say “hello from the other side.”
  • Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! The Empire State Building can’t jump!
  • What is a sleeping bull called? Bulldozer
  • Why don’t sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
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  • Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet? If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
  • What does a high school basketball player and a jury have in common? The Court
  • What did the Baby corn say to the Mama corn? Where is popcorn?
  • What did the piano say when it left the house? I forgot my keys!
  • What is the wake-up time for ducks? The quack of dawn.
  • How do wicked chickens reproduce? They lay deviled eggs.
  • What does a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
  • Why are frogs always so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
  • What kind of music do balloons hate? Pop.
  • What is a teenager who never grows called? Constantine
  • How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired.
  • What’s a hockey players favorite song? Ice ice baby!
  • Which is the best day to go to the beach? SUNday.
  • Why shouldn’t you worry about passing math? Because it’s easy as pi.
  • What book won’t teachers give you credit for reading?  Facebook.
  • What kind of milk does a pampered cow give? Spoiled milk
  • Can February March? No, but April May.
  • Why does a music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
  • What do you call a great swimmer? A dolphin
  • Where do hamburgers take their dates for romantic dancing? The meatball.
  •  What do you call a grizzly with bad teeth? A gummy bear
  • What kind of bone should a dog never eat? A trombone.
  • What did one pencil say to the other? “You are sharp.”
  • Why did the selfie go to prison? It was framed.
  • Why are green beans the most Zen of all vegetables? Because they’ve found their inner peas!
  • What do directors yell when they get injured? Cut!
  • What’s the most hardworking part of the eye? The pupil.
  • What happened with Dracula met a snowman? They got frostbite.
  • What has two legs but can’t walk? A pair of jeans.
  • Why did the banana need a doctor’s appointment? It was not peeling well.
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  • What do you call the horse that lives next door? Your neighbor!
  • What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns? Go straight for the juggler.
  • Why are soccer players so successful? Because they have goals
  • What happens when a frog’s car breaks down? It gets toad away.
  • Why do all judges get As in English class? Because they know all about sentences.
  • What has hands but can’t clap? A clock!
  • What is the favorite nation of the teacher? Expla-nation
  • What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back? A stick
  • What do cows order from? Cattle-logs!
  • What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance? The cabbage patch
  • How many tickles can make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
  • What do you call a rash on a pig? Hogwarts
  • What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Ca-shew!
  • What do you call a flower that runs on electricity? A power plant!
  • What did the teacher wear shades to the class? The class was too bright.
  • Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honey combs!
  • How are parties organized at NASA? They planet.
  • What’s the most gangster type of lamp? Street lights
  • What do you call a cow with no GPS? Udderly lost.
  • Why are there no ponies in choirs? Their voices are a little too horse.
  • Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crummy!
  • What kind of meals are consumed by math teachers? Square meals
  • Did you cry when you got hit by a bottle of Pepsi? Na, it was a soft drink!
  • How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? Shocked!
  • What do you call twins on the swim team? Synchronized swimmers.
  • How do baseball players work out in their house? They do home runs
  • What are the most popular perfumes for ages 12 to 18? Adolescents
  • How do you make a lemon drop? Just let go of it!
  • What is the most loved subject of a runner? Jog-raphy
  • What is the witch’s favorite school subject? Spelling!
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  • Where does Batman buy groceries? A super market 
  • Why did the man fall down the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.
  • What kind of room doesn’t have doors? A mushroom!
  • What is the favorite city of a Tennis player? Volley Wood
  • What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
  • What’s something sad astronauts need? Space.
  • Why are eggs bad at telling jokes? They always crack each other up.
  • What are two things you can’t have for breakfast?  Lunch and dinner.
  • What is a pile of kittens called? Meowntain
  • What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon aid.
  • What’s the best Christmas music? Wrap music
  • What’s a crocodile’s favorite app? Snap!
  • What did the nose tell the finger? “Stop picking on me.”
  • I wanted to buy a camouflage outfit, but I couldn’t find any.
  • How does the ocean say hi? It waves
  • Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? He had no body to dance with.
  • How can a dog stop the video? By pressing the paws button
  • Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
  • Why do rappers need umbrellas? Fo’ drizzle.
  • What’s a shark’s favorite facial feature? Their Jaws
  • What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
  • What is that one thing the best dentist in the world gets? A little plaque
  • Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
  • Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
  • Why are koalas not considered bears? They do not have the required koalafications.
  • What did the traffic light say to the truck? Don’t look! I’m changing!
  • What animal needs to wear a wig? A bald eagle!
  • How does the big flower greet the little one? Hey, bud!
  • What has one eye, but can’t see? A needle.
  • Why did the boy run around his bed? Because he was trying to catch up on sleep.
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  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
  • Why was the name Dark Age given to a particular period? Because there were many knights then
  • Why does ice cream get invited to every party? Because it’s cool and sweet.
  • Why did the teddy bear not want any dessert? Because she was stuffed!
  • Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
  • What was one toilet told by another? You look flushed
  • What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
  • Why do teenagers always travel in a group of three? Because they cannot even.
  • What kind of hair does the ocean have? Wavy.
  • What is the similarity between a magician and a hockey player? They both can do hat tricks.
  • What fruit tease people a lot? Ba-na, na, na, na…na!
  • What do you call a fake noodle?  An impasta.
  • What do you call a vegan post-punk band? Soy Division.
  • Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens? He lost his Hedwig.
  • Where do clocks upload their videos? TikTok!
  • The wedding was so beautiful. Even the cake was in tiers.”
  • How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line.
  • What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.
  • How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.
  • What did the punching bag say to the boxer? Hit me baby, one more time.
  • What would you call a belt with a watch on it? Waist of time
  • What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5? A headache.
  • Why can’t dinosaurs clap their hands?Because they’re extinct.
  • Name that thing that stays in the corner but travels the world? A stamp
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Do you have even more jokes for teens? Don’t forget to share them so we can laugh too!

Check out these Jokes

Jokes for Kids

Jokes for Adults

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How Do I Access My Free Printables?

Fill in the form above. You will receive an email in your inbox. If you don’t see it, check your spam folder! You will then click to confirm your subscription. Once confirmed, you will be emailed your joke cards.

How Do I Print A PDF?

You’ll need a program that supports PDFs. Adobe Acrobat is a great option. Open the program, click file then print. Select your printer and the number of copies you want to print. Be sure you click double-sided if you want it to print on both sides. 

Can I Resell These?

You may not resell any printable that you find on our website or in our resource library. You may use them for class parties, at church, at home, or in the classroom. You may get these printed at an office supply store or copy center at your own expense.

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