Are you trying to break the ice, but everyone keeps giving you the cold shoulder? These winter jokes are snow much fun that they will leave everyone laughing in no time. Perfect for an ice winter day!
Every snow often, we come up with some pretty good jokes to share with you, and I have to say that these winter jokes are pretty awesome that won’t have your friends saying ski you later after the punch line. So get ready to snow off with these fun and a little cheesy winter jokes.
Don’t worry! These winter jokes will be love at frost sight because they are kid-friendly, and even your grandma will enjoy.
Ready for even more fun and laughter? Be sure to check out our Christmas Jokes and our cow jokes next!
winter jokes
Q: What do snowmen call their kids?
A: Chill-dren.
Q: What did the icy road say to the car?
A: “Want to go for a spin?”
Q: What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.
Q: What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
A: A cookie sheet!
Q: Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow?
A: She liked playing cool jazz.
Q: What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
A: “Can you smell carrot?”
Q: What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.
Q: What’s an IG?
A: A snow house without a loo!
Q: Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
A: Because he thought his wife was a flake.
Q: What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
A: Snow and Tell.
Q: What is a mountain’s favorite type of candy?
A: Snowcaps.
Q: What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A: A meltdown!
Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
A: An abdominal snowman.
Q: What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A: A snow-fake!
Grandma’s been staring through the window ever since it started to snow.
If it gets any worse I’ll have to let her in.
Q: Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30-minute work week.
Q: Why do seals swim in saltwater?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Q: What do you call a snowman party?
A: A snowball.
Q: What did the snowman eat?
A: Icebergs with chilifice sauce.
Q: What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean?
A: H to O! (H20)
Q: What do you call a gangsta snowman?
A: Froze-T.
Q: Which side of an Arctic Tern has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
Q: How does a snowman get around?
A: He rides an icicle!
Q: Who is Frosty’s favorite Aunt?
A: Aunt Artica!
Q: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
A: Lost.
Q: What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers?
A: Leeks.
Q: What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A: A snowmobile!
Q: What do Snowmen call their offspring?
A: Chill-dren.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
Q: Why didn’t Guns N’ Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
A: Axel Froze.
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: Water.
Q: Why didn’t the tourist in the Arctic get any sleep?
A: He plugged his electric blanket into the toaster by mistake — and kept popping out of bed all night!
Q: What happened when all the muskox wool that was collected was stolen?
A: The police combed the area.
Q: If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
A: Snowbows.
Q: What did one Greenland Shark say to the other?
A: “Say, good lookin’… didn’t I meet you last night at the feeding frenzy?”
Q: Why did the farmer only wear one boot to town?
A: He heard there would be a 50 percent chance of snow!
Q: What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
A: The ones with thick icing.
Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
A: You look for Fresh Prints!
Q: What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
A: Brrrr – itos.
Q: What kind of money do snowmen use in the North Pole?
A: Cold hard cash.
Q: What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A: A Frosty.
Q: How do mountains stay warm?
A: They put on their snowcaps.
Q: What do you call it when a snowman throws a temper tantrum?
A: A meltdown.
Q: What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
A: Ice krispies treats.
Q: What does December have that no other month does?
A: The letter D.
Q: What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?
A: “Dam!”
Q: What do women use to stay young looking in the Arctic?
A: Cold cream.
Q: Why was the snowman sad?
A: Cause he had a meltdown.
Q: What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
A: She gave him the cold shoulder.
Q: How do you prevent a Summer cold?
A: Catch it in the winter!
Q: How do snowmen greet each other?
A: “Ice to meet you!”
Q: What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
A: “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
Q: Who are Frosty’s parents?
A: Mom and Pop-Sicle!
Q: What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A: A snowball.
Q: What do you call a slow skier?
A: A slopepoke!
Q: Where do snowmen put their money?
A: Snowbanks.
Q: What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
Q: What is the best breakfast cereal to eat in the winter?
A: Frosted Flakes!
Q: Where do snowmen love to dance?
A: At a snow ball.
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
A: Iced tea.
Q: What type of diet did the snowman go on?
A: The Meltdown Diet.
Q: What did the snowman order at the fast-food restaurant?
A: An ice burger with extra cheese.
Q: What’s a good winter tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Q: What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A: A cold.
Q: What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
A: I have no eye deer.
Q: What does a Snowman take when he gets sick?
A: A chill pill.
Q: What did one Arctic murre say to the other?
A: “What? We flew 2000 miles for THIS?!”
Q: What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?
A: “Where were you on the night of Sept. to March?”
Q: What noise wakes you up at the North Pole around March 18?
A: The crack of dawn!
Q: If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
A: No privacy.
Q: What do you call a snowman in July?
A: A puddle.
Q: What did the walrus say when it was late?
A: “I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship.”
Q: What did the icy Arctic road say to the truck?
A: “Want to go for a spin?”
Winter’s coming so I’m knitting you a muffler.
What size is your mouth?
Q: What do you use to catch an Arctic hare?
A: A hare net.
Q: What did the tree say after a long winter?
A: “What a re-leaf!”
Q: What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backward through the snow together?
A: A receding hare line.
Q: Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?
A: They’re both below C level!
Q: What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A: Play with the snow angels.
Q: How does a penguin build a house?
A: Igloos it together.
Q: What happened when an icicle landed on the snowman’s head?
A: It knocked him out cold.
Knock, knock.
‘Scold outside!
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Q: Why are winter days great?
A: They’re snow much fun!
Q: Why was the blanket discouraged?
A: The snuggle is real.
Q: How would you scare a snowman?
A: Get a hairdryer!
Q: What kind of cake does the Ice Queen like to eat on her birthday?
A: The flavor doesn’t matter as long as it has lots of frosting.
Q: What does a gingerbread man put on his bed?
A: A cookie sheet.
Did you hear about the snowman spy?
He has a license to chill.
Q: What did one snowflake say to the other?
A: “You’re one of a kind.”
Q: How do you warn one of Santa’s helpers?
A: “Check your elf before you wreck your elf.”
Q: Did you hear about the rude snowman?
A: He didn’t carrot all.
Q: What do you call a glove combined with a snake?
A: Smitten.
Q: What’s the best kind of dog to get for the holidays?
A: A “pointsetter!”
Q: Why do mummies like holiday gifts?
A: Because of all of the wrappings.
Q: Why aren’t penguins as lucky as Arctic murres?
A: The poor old penguins can’t go south for the winter.
Q: How do you keep from getting cold feet?
A: Don’t go around BRRfooted!
Q: How do you know when it is too cold to picnic outside?
A: You chip your tooth on your soup!
Q: What do mountains wear to keep warm?
A: Snowcaps.
Q: What are caribou calves given to wear?
A: Hoof-me-downs.
Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?
A: “You hang around while I go on ahead.”
Q: What’s the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money?
A: In a snowbank.
Q: Is it quicker to be hot or cold?
A: Hot is quicker, because you can catch cold.
Q: Where do seals go to see movies?
A: The dive-in!
Q: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra.
Q: Why do Klingons prefer winter for cooking?
A: Their dishes are best served cold.
Q: I warned him about starting his own ski resort.
A: It’s a slippery slope.
Q: No one likes eating outside in the winter.
A: It’s frost come, frost served.
Q: What did the sign say in the reindeer stable?
A: “There’s snow place like home.”
Q: Did you hear about the politicians whose best speeches were outdoors in the winter?
A: He could really turn a freeze.
Q: What sits on the bottom of the cold Arctic Ocean and shakes?
A: A nervous wreck.
Q: How do you know if there’s a snowman in your bed?
A: You wake up wet!
Q: What do snowmen eat for lunch?
A: Icebergers.
Q: If your reindeer lost his tail, where would you go to buy him a new one?
A: A retail store.
Q: What did Frosty the Snowman and Elvira name their baby?
A: Frost-bite.
Q: What is red, white, and blue over winter break?
A: A sad candy cane.
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
A: “Have an ice day!”
Q: What kind of androids do you find in the Arctic?
A: Snobots!
Q: What do you call a ghost in the winter?
A: Casp-brrrrr.
Q: What happens when you’re alone in the water and get too cold?
A: You’re totally ice-olated.
Q: What food do you get when you cross a snowman with a wolf?
A: A brrrr-grrr.
Q: What do you call a snowman temper tantrum?
A: A meltdown.
Q: Where do snowmen love to dance?
A: At a snow ball.
Q: How do you know that a snowman was in your home?
A: You find a carrot next to the fireplace.
Q: Where do snowmen put their money?
A: Snowbanks.
Q: What’s white and goes up?
A: A confused snowflake.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why did Frosty go to the middle of the big lake?
A: Because snow man’s an island.
Q: How do mountains stay warm?
A: Snowcaps.
Q: How do you scare a snowman?
A: Two words: global warming.
Q: How did the Snowman get to work?
A: By icicle.
Q: What did the police officer say when he saw the snowman stealing?
A: Freeze.
Q: What is a snowman’s favorite snack?
A: Ice Krispy Treats.
Q: Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow?
A: Because she liked cool music.
Q: Which kids wear the biggest snow boots?
A: The ones with the biggest feet!
Q: How do snowmen pay their bills?
A: With cold hard cash.
Q: Why did the boy only wear one snow boot?
A: There was only a 50 percent chance of snow.
Q: What does Frosty the Snowman like to put on his icebergers?
A: Chilly sauce.
Q: What kind of cake do snowmen like?
A: Any kind with lots of icing.
Q: What did the icy road say to the truck?
A: Want to go for a spin?
Q: What video game do they play in igloos?
A: Snow Fortnite.
Q: What was Frosty the Snowman’s career?
A: He was in snow business.
Q: What is a female snowman called?
A: A snow-ma’am.
Q: Who were Frosty’s parents?
A: Mom and Pop-Sicle.
Q: Why did the snowman turn yellow?
A: Ask the dog.
Q: What do you call a snowman in August?
A: A puddle.
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite drink?
A: Ice tea.
Q: What is a skier’s favorite type of candy?
A: Snowcaps.
Q: What’s the best part about school during the winter?
A: Snow and tell.
Q: What falls in the winter but never gets hurt?
A: Snow.
Q: Where do snowmen get the weather report?
A: The Winternet.
Knock, knock.
A: Icy you!
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Knock, knock.
Snow use. I forgot my name again.
Who’s there?
Snow
Snow who?
Knock, knock.
Snowbody’s business but mine.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Knock, knock.
Scold outside!
Who’s there?
Scold.
Scold who?
Q: What do you call a snowman’s dog?
A: A slush puppy!
Q: Why was the snowman rummaging in the bag of carrots?
A: He was picking his nose.
Q: What do snowmen do when the weather’s too hot for scarves and hats?
A: They change into puddles.
Q: What is a snowman’s favorite game?
A: Ice Spy with My Little Eye.
Q: What do you call a snowman that plays piano?
A: Meltin’ John.
Q: What do you call a snowman without a carrot?
A: Nobody nose.
Q: Has the abominable snowman called?
A: Not Yeti.
Q: What’s a snowman’s favorite meat?
A: Cold cuts!
Q: What did Yoda tell the snowman when he found out he had tunnel vision?
A: “All ICY is you!”
Q: What do you call a snowman on wheels?
A: A bICICLE.
Q: What is Batman’s favorite food?
A: Not much, just-ice!
I used to be a fortune teller but I kept predicting snowstorms…
It turns out I wasn’t using a crystal ball, it was a snow globe.
Q: After six months of winter, all the snow finally melted.
A: Noice.
Q: What did the snow plower say to the car drivers before clearing snow?
A: Snow problem.
I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today… Well, I’m guessing she was poor.
She only had $1.00 in her purse.
Q: Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
A: The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Q: What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A: Ice caps!
Q: How did the winter squash pay for things?
A: It used pumpkin bread.
Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?
A: Let’s stick together.
Q: Where do you go to learn about the history of ice cream?
A: Sundae School.
Q: How do you get ice to melt faster?
A: Talk to it and get into a heated argument!
Q: What is Frosty the Snowman’s favorite mode of transportation?
A: A tr-ICE-cycle.
Q: Why should you experiment with thin ice?
A: Because it’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Q: Why is slippery ice like music?
A: Because if you don’t C sharp, you’ll B flat!
Q: How did the snowman lose his head?
A: Someone sat on his face.
Q: What do you get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids!
Q: Why did the snowman’s daughter become a stripper?
A: Because he was so cold to her.
Q: Why did the lady snowman divorce her husband?
A: She found out he was going to a snow blower.
Q: Why are we only concerned about snowmen, not snowwomen?
A: Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Q: Why was the snowman so brave?
A: Because he had big snowballs.
Q: Where do snowmen go to donate their sperm?
A: The snowbank.
Q: Why is it hard to ski after a fresh snow?
A: With great powder comes great responsibility.
Q: What did one skier say to the other?
A: “Alpine for you when you’re gone.”
Q: What did the Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle?
A: “Alp!”
Q: What do you call a winter monster with a six-pack?
A: Abdominal snowman.
Q: What do yeti on diets eat?
A: Iceberg lettuce.
Q: How do you decorate a snowman’s cake?
A: Lots of icing.
Q: How do you make up a snowman’s bed?
A: Fresh sheets of ice and a thick blanket of snow.
Q: Why can’t you trust snowmen?
A: They’re real flakes.
Q: Why are snowmen great at parties?
A: They always break the ice.
Q: What’s the scariest part of owing Santa money?
A: He snows where you live.
Q: What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees?
A: “It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”
Q: How do you build a snow fort?
A: You igloo it together.
What are some of your favorite winter jokes? Don’t forget to share them in the comments so we can add them to the list!
Want More Jokes Like These?
Looking for more kid-friendly jokes? Explore our full collection of family-safe jokes and puns that are perfect for laughs anytime.
Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. She is a certified Life Coach with her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer; Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.