These Tuesday jokes will lift your post-Monday blues and have your entire family giggling with you!
Tuesdays have a bad reputation, but they’re far better than Mondays! Tuesday jokes are a great way to add jokes to lunchboxes or tape one to the steering wheel in my husband’s commuter car. Every day is a good day for a laugh, but Tuesdays are extra deserving!
For more, check out our Monday Jokes and Wednesday Jokes!
And don’t forget to get your free printable Tuesday joke cards which are perfect for sending in lunchboxes or backpacks. My kids love collecting all the jokes and adding them to a ring clip so they can scroll through them whenever they want! We love to have joke cards on hand in the car to share on the ride to or from school. My older kids love it when I post them on the fridge or bathroom mirror and hide the answer to see who can solve it first. There are so many ways to use the joke cards, so don’t forget to grab your free set below!
Funny Tuesday Jokes
These funny Tuesday jokes are excellent for neighbors and friends too! Print an extra sheet, bake some cookies, and choose your favorite joke to share.
- What day’s the best for giving a dog a bone? Chews-day.
- Why did the football coach go to the bank on Tuesday? To get a quarterback.
- What does a clean Tuesday mean? A cluttered next weekend!
- What do Tuesdays always love to do? They like to put the blame on Mondays.
- Why did the vegetable salad say to a fruit juice on a Tuesday morning? “They say it is our day, TossedDay!”
- What is the other name of Tuesday? Day 2 of the hostage situation.
- Why didn’t “Get up and Go” attend the party on Tuesday? Because he ‘Got up and Went’ somewhere else.
- What sounds better than a ‘happy Monday’? A very ‘happy Tuesday’ indeed.
- What is the best Tuesday motivation? Thinking that there is a taco, out there thinking of you too.
- When should you never annoy a lawyer? On a Suesday.
- Why do Brits pronounce Tuesday as Chooseday? Because they drank the T.
- What’s the best day of the week to listen to music? Tunes-day.
- Did you hear about the construction joke that began on Tuesday? They’re still working on it.
- What’s the bright side of Tuesday? It only happens once a week.
- Why can’t you change the decision of a seal saying, “Tuesdays are the best”? Because it is a seal of approval.
- Why did the employee worry about his Friday being ruined? Because it was still Tuesday morning.
- When did the King have his jousting contests? On Tuesday Knight.
- Why didn’t Superman eat the nachos at tonight’s taco Tuesday dinner? He’s afraid of that chip-tonight.
- What comes after Tuesday? Threesday.
- Friend: “What day is today?” Me: “Tuesday.” Friend: “Woah, even Einstein can’t answer that.” Me: “Why?” Friend: “…because he’s dead!”
- Why were Taco Tuesdays introduced? So people could taco ’bout it the whole week.
- Why did the Mexican restaurant get such a great review on Tuesday night? It was nacho average Taco Tuesday!
- Why do stadiums get hot on Tuesday after a Monday night game? The fans left.
- What’s a handyman’s favorite day of the week? Tools-day.
- Is there anything better than a ‘happy Monday’? A very ‘happy Tuesday’ indeed.
- What did the weeks say to the boy when he was apprehensive about Tuesday? “Don’t worry, Friday is on its way”.
- How many days did it take for Sunday to reach Wednesday? Twosday.
- What’s a golfer’s favorite day of the week? Tee-sday.
- What does Taco Tuesday say to Dunkin Donuts? I have fillings too.
- Why were One and Three envious of Two? Because it was Two’s day.
- Today’s the day when I get to eat lots and lots of chocolate. Tuesday.
- What’s the worst thing about Fridays? Realizing it’s only Tuesday.
- What do cows do on Tuesday night? They go to the moo-vies.
- On what day of the week do most tennis games tie at 40-all? Deuce-day.
- What’s so special about the 22nd of each month? It’s two’s day.
- How do you make Tuesday zip by like a rocket? Give it a head start by racing it with Wednesday!
- Why can’t the kids take a ferry to school on Tuesday? Because they have Tuesday (to-use-da) roadway to reach the school.
- Why was the math book sad on Tuesday? Because it had too many problems.
- Why do most employees at the canned juice factory get fired on Tuesday? They can’t concentrate.
- Why did Tuesday start going to the gym? She was a weak day.
- What does it mean when you wake up on Tuesday morning? That you made it through another Monday!
- What is Tuesday? A Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim.
- What is a ballerina’s favorite day of the week? Tu-Tuesday.
- On what day of the week, do monsters eat people? Chewsday.
- What’s a dentist’s favorite day of the week? Tooths-day.
- Why is a Tuesday morning not bad? Because it is a sign that one has survived through the previous Monday morning!
- What did the ocean say to the beach on Tuesday? Nothing. It just waved.
- What’s a frat boy’s favorite day of the week? Dudes-day.
- What’s the worst sound on Tuesday morning? Alarm clocks.
- Why do potatoes love Tuesdays? Because it’s Tater-Tuesday!
- How do you keep dreams alive on Tuesdays? By hitting the snooze button.
- On which day of the week is it the hardest to lie? Truthsday.
- What day of the week do you dress like a ballerina? Tutus-day.
- Why did the cup of coffee dial 911 on Tuesday? Because it got a taste of the “mug” life – talk about a “grounds” for alarm!
- What is common between eggs and Tuesday? One can make a scrambled breakfast and the other can scramble your week.
- Why didn’t the French chef realize it was pancake Tuesday? It Crêpe’d up on him.
- What do you call a Tuesday that acts like a Monday? A two-faced day!
- Why isn’t Tuesday the saddest day of the week? Because 4 days later is a sadder day.
- What’s Tuesday’s go-to musical genre? It’s all about “Blues-day” tunes, perfect for grooving to those midweek vibes!
- When doesn’t Tuesday start with a “T”? When it’s Yesterday.
- When did Sherlock Holmes solve the mystery? On a Cluesday.
- When’s the best day to watch cartoons? Toons-day.
- Why did the calendar go to therapy? Because it was stuck on Tuesday!
- What day should you wear flip-flop sandals? Toesday!
- How can people grow to like Tuesday? By realizing that it’s the farthest day from the next Monday.
- What follows four days of rain in Seattle? Tuesday
- How do you make time go fast on Tuesday? Throw a clock.
- Why was everyone looking for Lipton? It was Teasday.
- Why don’t Tuesdays participate in races? Because they always come third after Sundays and Mondays.
- What is the case of a bad Monday called on a Tuesday morning? A pre-existing condition.
- What is a stuttering ballerina’s favorite day of the week? Tu-Tu Tuesday
- When do stores sell the most tea? On Teas-day.
- What do you do when your baby chews food for the first time on Tuesday? You call it a ‘Chewsday’.
- Son: “Dad, you need to start working out.” Dad: “I do work out almost every day, almost Monday, almost Tuesday…”
- Why did the couple have to spend the whole day together? It was Twos-day.
- Why was the computer late for work on Tuesday? It had a hard drive.
- What is the best Tuesday motivation? Thinking that there is a taco, out there in the universe thinking of you too!
- What’s the worst sport to play on Tuesday? Bad-minton.
- What did the Krispy Kreme donut sign say on Taco Tuesday? Don’t forget about us today, we have fillings too…
- How do you make a Tuesday better? You can Choose (Tues)day and just go with it until Friday.
Share your favorite funny Tuesday jokes in the comments!
Printable Tuesday Jokes
Print your Tuesday jokes and have fun giggling with the entire family!
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Can I resell these?
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Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. With her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer, Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.