Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, gourds and pumpkins, gather ’round because it’s that time of the year again—Autumn! Ah, yes, the season where the leaves turn colors, the temperature drops, and everyone’s favorite: pumpkin spice, invades our lives like a nosy neighbor. So, let’s get Autumn off to the perfect start with these autumn jokes that you are going to love.
What is it about Autumn that turns us all into scarf-wearing, leaf-crunching, football-watching fanatics? Maybe it’s the thrill of Halloween looming around the corner, promising to empty your wallet faster than you can say ‘Trick or Treat.’ Or perhaps it’s the anticipation of Thanksgiving, a holiday dedicated to stuffing your face while trying to avoid all political conversations with Uncle Bob.
Now, we could argue about the ‘best’ season until we’re all blue in the face, or in the spirit of Fall, orange in the face. But there’s something uniquely captivating about Autumn. It’s the only season where it’s socially acceptable to wander through a corn maze and go on just one more hayride.
So buckle up, grab a hot apple cider, and prepare yourself for a harvest of humor. We’re diving into the crunchiest, spookiest, and yes, the punniest Autumn jokes that will make you chuckle.
If you don’t find these jokes “a-maize-ing,” well, then you’re just in de-Nile—get it? De-Nile? Like the river? Never mind, let’s leaf it at that and move on to the jokes!
For even more funny jokes, be sure to check out our Thanksgiving jokes and our ghost jokes for even more laughter and fun.
Best Autumn Jokes
Why are apples so bad in interrogations? They always crumble.
Who was the pie’s favorite pop star? Apple Pie Spice
What’s the saddest side dish? Sweet potato cries
How are you supposed to talk in the apple library? With your in-cider voice
Why was the trampoline cold? She didn’t have a jumper
What is a ghost’s favorite fruit flavor? Boo-berry!
What do the leaves say before they hibernate? Rake me up when September ends.
Why did the Jack-o’-Lantern look after the pie? They were pump-kin
What reads and lives in apples? Bookworms.
Where does Neil Young put his cornflakes? On this harvest spoon
What do you call a man in a pile of colorful leaves? Russell.
What is a scarecrow’s favourite type of fruit? Straw-berries!
The police arrested 2 men for stealing batteries and fireworks… They charged one and let the other one off!
What room are ghosts not allowed to enter? The living room.
What’s the best thing to put into an apple pie? Your teeth.
What’s a ghost’s favourite nursery rhyme? Little BOO Peep
Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the fall? They were autumn mated.
Why do leaves change color in the fall? Because they want to leaf their old color.
What did the summer say to the spring? Help I’m going to fall!
Why was nobody scared of the tree? His bark was worse than his bite.
What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? A woolly jumper
Why did the apple pie cry? It’s peelings were hurt!
What are you studying in math class this autumn? Apple pi.
What part did the turkeys play in the Thanksgiving Day parade? They played their drumsticks.
Why didn’t they let the fat epileptic into the Halloween party? He didn’t fit
Why do birds fly south in the fall? Because it’s too far to walk.
What did the squash with an identity crisis say? I’m A – Corn! (It was an Acorn squash – credit to Holly!)
What do you call a large colorful pile of leaves? The Great Barrier Leaf.
What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter? Pumpkin Pi
Which month is a Rock Star’s favourite? Rock-tober.
What do short-sighted ghouls wear? Spooktacles
Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall? Because they’re easily stumped.
Why is autumn the proudest season? It’s fall of it
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Iva. Iva, who? Iva bunch of leaves that need raking!
What is a fires least favourite month? No-ember.
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Wool. Wool, who? Wool you grab me a sweater? It’s getting cold outside!
What’s the slowest way for an ant to get down from a tree? Sit on a leaf and wait until autumn.
Who’s a ghoul’s favourite artist? Edvard Monster Munch
Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn? It was on paid leaf.
So far, Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible winter… Its a shame because he had such a great fall!
What do you call a pumpkin that’s in a bad mood? A grouchy gourd!
What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink? Pumpkin spy-ce latte.
What did autumn say to summer? “Make like a tree and leave!”
Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school? he Crossing Gourd.
Why did the tree get in trouble? For being knotty!
What do you call a squirrel that can play the piano? A musical nut!
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Willie. Willie, who? Willie carve a funny face in his pumpkin?
Why did you act like that at Thanksgiving dinner? I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam.
Why are trees so carefree and easygoing? Because every fall, they let loose.
Why are trees very forgiving? Because in the Fall they “Let It Go” and in the Spring they “turn over a new leaf”.
How did the tree explain its bad behaviour? It said it was getting ready to turn over a new leaf.
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive, who? Olive looking at the autumn leaves!
Why couldn’t the neighbors finish their yard work? They had too many rakes and pains.
What kind of parent makes their kids costume from scratch? Mummy of the year.
What did the customer say at the farmer’s market? That’s quite a load of crop you’ve got there.
What happened when the turkey got in a fight? The stuffing was knocked out of him.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears.
What do you call a spider that just got married? A newlyweb
What do you call a small pepper in late autumn? A little chili
What’s the best kind of weather for growing guns and roses? November rain
How do you know it’s autumn in the forest? You see lots of “fall”-en leaves!
Why was the autumn vegetable stew so valuable? It contained 24 carat gourd
What should you do when you witness a crime in the forest? Report it to the leaf of police.
What did the sad ghost say to its friends? I’ve got a case of the boos.
What happens when winter arrives? Autumn leaves!
What do you call a tree that doubts autumn? Disbe-leaf.
Who threw the best Halloween party this year? The ghost-ess with the most-est!
Which emperor do skeletons love the most? Napoleon Bone-aparte
A girl named Autumn tried to prank me. I didn’t fall for it!
What’s the best band to listen to in autumn? The Spice Girls.
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out-standing in his field.
What do Jedi trees say to each other in the fall? May the forest be with you.
How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
Did you hear about the tree that deserted the forest at the end of fall? He was absent without leaves!
Why did summer catch autumn? Because autumn had a fall.
Why did the courgette, the pumpkin and the butternut squash get on so well? They were gourd friends
What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
What kind of vehicle did they use for the hayride? An Autumn-mobile, of course!
What kind of apple isn’t an apple? A pineapple.
Why should you always eat mushrooms in the morning? It’s the breakfast of champignons
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
What did the autumn tree say to the evergreen tree? “You’re so pine!”
What did the apple say to the pie baker? Use cherries instead.
What do trees say when autumn comes? Don’t leaf me this way
How do you like your apple pie? Any way you spice it.
I heard Humpty Dumpty had a great summer… But he had a horrible fall!
Why are maple trees so forgiving? Every Fall they “Let It Go”
What did the doctor say when the nurse told him the invisible man was there? Tell him I can’t see him.
Why did the lions move at the end of summer? Because the pride goeth before the fall!
What do you call a tree that fits in your hand? A palm tree!
What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving? Good-pie everyone.
If the Pilgrims were still alive, what would they be most famous for? Their age.
Why did the turkey cross the road? Because it was the chicken’s day off.
How did the tree get a new job? She had the right qua-leaf-ications.
What do you call a dude who really likes autumn? A fall guy!
How are you supposed to talk in the apple library? With your incider voice.
If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season? Fall.
What did the skydiver say in autumn? I love the fall.
It’s the first day of Autumn so let’s make like Humpty Dumpty! And have a great Fall!
How do you tell a vampire to have a good time? Make it fang-tastic!
How do fall leaves get from place to place? With autumn-mobiles.
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What is an owl’s favourite part of autumn? Owl-ween!
What is the best book to read in autumn? Gourd of the Rings.
What did the pie crust say to the turkey? I crusted you!
Which monster is red, round and comes out in Autumn? Frankenapple.
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist? Because it needed a filling.
What did the farmer tell the crying apple orchard keeper to do? Grow a pear
Why do birds fly south for the fall? Because it’s quicker than walking.
What do you call a group of witches that live in the same neighborhood in the autumn? A broomstick community!
When is an orange not an orange? When it’s a pumpkin.
What did the jack-o-lantern say to the psychologist? I’m hollow inside.
What reads and lives in apples? Bookworms.
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange, who? Orange you glad it’s autumn?
What’s the main course? Oh, it’s fowl.
Why do trees hate tests? Because they get stumped by the questions!
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do? It can look round.
Why was the man shopping for Reynolds Wrap? His wife wanted to see fall foilage.
Which pigs hide in bushes? Hedgehogs
Why isn’t your daughter married? Because a gourd man is hard to find.
Why did no one laugh at the oak tree? He kept telling acorn-y jokes
What do you call a tree that fits in your hand? A palm tree!
Who plays James Bond best in an autumn orchard? Pears Brosnan
How many books do you read at fall? I usually leaf through a couple of them.
Why do owls prefer summer over autumn? It’s too wet to woo!
How do trees get on the internet? They log in!
Who led all the apples to the bakery? The Pie Piper
What did one autumn leaf say to the other? I’m fallin’ for you.
Why do trees drop their leaves in the fall? It’s autumn-atic.
Which pumpkins can swim the best? The coast gourd.
Who are the most religious people on McDonalds? Chipmunks
What did the customer say at the farmer’s market? That’s quite a load of crop you’ve got there.
What’s a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme? Little BOO Peep.
What’s an elephant’s favorite vegetable? Squash.
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half of a worm!
What did the tree say to autumn? Please leaf me alone!
What did one leaf say to the other? See you next fall!
Knock! knock! Whos there? Aunt. Aunt, who? Aunt you glad it’s fall?
What did the ground say when fall came? Well that’s a re-leaf.
What kind of key can’t open doors? A Tur-key
What did a tree fighting with autumn say? That’s it, I’m leaving.
What is the cutest of all seasons? Awwwtumn.
What will fall on the lawn first? An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Leaf. Leaf, who? Leaf the keys.
What did one autumn leaf say to another? I’m falling for you!
How can one tree contact another tree? Through a teleafone.
What do lumberjacks shout at the start of fall? Sep-timberrrrrr.
Why do trees try new things so often? Because every autumn, then turn over a new leaf.
Which monster is red, round and only comes out in the autumn? Frankenapple!
Why did the tree decide to start taking art classes? She wanted to branch out.
Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Felix. Felix who? Felix-cited about Halloween and Thanksgiving!
Why do people with vertigo hate autumn? In case they have a bad fall
Do you have even more autumn jokes that leaf you chuckling? Share them in the comments!
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