If puns have put a spell on you, then you’ll love these Be-Witching Puns! Creep things fun with these family-friendly witch puns that are appropriate for any age and sure to make you laugh. Just grab your broom, and away we fly!
Maybe it’s witch-ful thinking, but my kids love when I share puns with them. We gather around the cauldron and enjoy a mug of pond water soup and share our favorite puns with each other. Before we know it, we’re screaming in laughter!
Witch is your favorite type of pun? We have them all, from Fall Puns That Will Leaf You Laughing to Spook-Tacular Ghost Puns that Will Make You Go Boo-Hoo. Be sure to cast some spells on your kids with these wand-erful puns!
Best Witch Puns
- What sound does a witch’s vehicle make? Broom
- What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
- Who turns the lights off on Halloween? The light’s witch.
- What do you call witches who live together? Broom-mates.
- What sign was posted in the witches’ parking lot? Violators will be toad.
- Why are witches always the best cat moms and are there for them when they need them the most? A witch in time saves nine.
- Why did the wizard have a pie with a hole in it? He was a pie-romancer.
- What wizard can see you? The Wizard of Eyes
- Why did the vampire fall in love with the Wizard? Because the wizard was a neck-romancer.
- My friend called me in a panic and shouted, “An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don’t know what to do!” Frantically, I drove all the way to his house only to find out.. …he’s really a big lyre.
- What do you call a wizard who can make toasted sandwiches? Breville Longbottom
- What does a condiment wizard perform? Saucery
- You think musical wizards are weird? Imagine Dragons
- What was the preferred mode of transport for the wizard of Oz? The Oscar.
- What did the wizard get at the shop? Staff discount
- Don’t let the Wizard negotiate! Fireball is bad diplomacy, it just inflames the situation.
- Just one example from my second ever video, 50 D&D puns! I am super new and super small, so every view is valuable to me!
- What do you call a dead wizard?. A spelleton My family didn’t appreciate my joke, so hopefully someone does
- What would Mr. Burns say if he were a wizard? Hexcellent
- My doc seems to think I either have a wizard or orthopedic footwear… He said I have mage or healthy shoes.
- A wizard dad became concerned that whenever his son went to the bathroom, he wasn’t giving himself privacy. One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.
- “Please, son,” he said, “will you quit leaving the door a jar?”
- What is a bad wizard’s favourite computer program? Spell-check
- Where does a wizard eat his lunch? In the staff room.
- Son, how do you call a black wizard? Ugandalf
- What does a Wizard use to stick things together? Spellotape
- Wizards go to school to learn how to spell. Spellotape
- I once met a wizard who threw a ball of darkness at me. I hate it when people throw shade.
- Can a dyslexic wizard spell?
- Why do cats prefer wizards to witches? Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.
- What kind of cowbell does a bovine wizard wear? An amoolet.
- Did you know that the Wizard of Oz had a brother ? His name is Gram
- I have a hicky from my date with a wizard last night. she was a neck-romancer
- An evil wizard.. There was an evil wizard who hated mathematics. One day he decided that he would end math once and for all, by capturing the 10 digits, and locking the away forever in his secret prison. So he cast his spell, and all the digits, from 0 to 9 were under his influence. He put them in his magic sack and rode off to the prison. When he reached the prison, he opened the sack. To his horror, there were not 10, but 9 digits there. After searching thoroughly he realized that…it was the 1 that got away.
- What do you call a destructive wizard? Da mage
- Did you hear about the wizard who got away with murder? He turned himself into the police.
- Who did the wizard marry? His ghoul-friend
- What do you call a witch that lives in the sand? I don’t know but I’m getting hungry.
- I once dated a condemned witch. There was a lot at stake in the relationship, but now she’s just an old flame.
- What do you call a witch that lives on the beach? A sandwitch
- What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.
- Why did the witch get rid of her new broom? It was a bit thin and she couldn’t get used to driving a stick.
- How do you get rid of a witch’s hex? Draw a hex-a-gon(e).
- What sound does a fast witch make? Broom broom!
- What sound does it make when an ogre eats a witch for breakfast? Snap cackle n’ pop
- How do you make a witch itch? Take away the W.
- What’s a witch’s favorite makeup? Ma-scare-a.
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling
- What is a witch’s favorite method of writing? Cursive
- How do you get rid of a Witch in the desert? I usually toast my sand Witches.
- What do you call a male witch? Mitch
- Why did the witch wear latex gloves when she cast a spell? She wanted to practice safe hex.
- You know what the zombie said about the witch doctor? Nothing, his lips were sealed.
- I need to start a witch themed spicy steak sauce company. Our slogan would be, “The only acceptable way to be burned at the steak.”
- Why did the witch get rid of her new broom? It was a bit thin and she couldn’t get used to driving a stick.
- What kind of mail does a witch carry her broom? hex-press mail
- Why do witches fly on brooms? Because vacuums are too heavy
- My buddy said, ‘There’s only one thing about Halloween that scares me.’ I asked, ‘Which is?’ ‘Exactly’, he replied.
- Why did the wizard’s wife have hickeys on her neck? Because he was a neck-romancer.
- What do you call a wizard that walks everywhere barefoot, has poor bone density, and bad breath? Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
- In our next Dnd campaign, the 4 heroes are all going to be singing wizards. A regular bard-ershop quartet.
- Why do witch doctors never get fat? Because they’re always exorcising.
- What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore? I’m smelting!!
- What do you call a witch that only eats sand? Malnourished
- I‘m a primary school teacher and one of my kids got me in the lols with this one today… what’s a witch’s favorite subject? Spelling
- If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witches wrist.
- Why couldn’t Mr. and Mrs. Witch have babies? Mr. Witch had a hollow weenie.
- My dad asked me why there was a lion and a witch in the wardrobe? I said it was Narnia business.
- What do you call a group of PMSing ladies in a coven? A witch fest.
- What do you call a female dog that is into crystals and tarot cards? A witch.
- How do witches disappear? They s-witch off.
- What do you call the time of day when there is a party in a coven? The witching hour.
- What do you call a scavenger hunt that involves herbs, tarot cards, and crystals? A witch hunt.
- What do you call a smack in the face from a spellcaster? A witch slap.
- Why do spell casters never look like they are smiling or frowning? Because they have that resting witch face.
- Two female wizards are chatting… the first says to the second, I liked the hat you were wearing last week. The second says… Witch hat
- What do you call a wizard giraffe? A neckromancer!
- What do you call a wizard that’s on weed? Weedzard
- Who did the wizard marry? His ghoul-friend
- So, there are three female wizards assigned to protect three Rolex timepieces. My only question? Which witch would watch which watch?
- What is the attitude that you hear from spell casters about life? Life’s a witch and then you die.
- My 7 yr old son came up with this today. How do you make a witch itch? Take away the w.
- Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery? She looked really good afterwarts.
- What subject does a witch teach at school? Spelling
- What do you call a witch at a beach? A sand witch.
- Eye of Newt, of witch potion lore, is actually… nothing more than good, old-fashioned ground mustard seed emulsified in oil. This means mustard could actually be called newt butter. Or, for those who have their doubts… I can’t believe it’s newt butter.
- What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling
- What do you call a witch who eats only sand? Malnourished.
- Why couldn’t the little witch read her spellbook? It was written in curse-ive.
- What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick? She flew off the handle.
- Where does the witch’s frog sit? On a toadstool.
- What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.
- What kind of jewelry do witches wear? Charm bracelets.
- What do witches in Australia ride? Broomerangs.
- How do old witches get good bargains? They hag-gle.
- Who’s a witch’s favorite movie director? Steven Spellberg.
- What did the lost witch ask the wizard? “Witch way to the Halloween party?”
- What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire? Rags to witches story.
- Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween? Because they provided broom service!
- Why did the witch go to the doctor? She had a dizzy spell.
- What did the witch get her cat for entertainment? A cat-alog.
- Why are black cats very good singers? They’re mewsical.
- Why did the witch’s cat scratch her? Because he was in a bad mewd.
- What do witches’ cats like to have for breakfast? Mice crispies.
- What did one witch’s cat say to the other? You look familiar.
- Someone who does not become a witch until they’re old is a late broomer.
- Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
- The best place to search for information about witches is wicca-pedia.
- The problem with twin witches is that you never know witch is which.
- A witch tells the time by looking at her witch watch.
- A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
- What is a witch’s favorite TV show? Game of crones.
- What do you call a witch that lives in the desert? A sand-witch.
- What happens to witches who break the school rules? They get ex-spelled.
- What did the witch say to her victim while she was waiting? Bewitcha in a minute!
- What is a witch’s favorite ride at the fair? A scary-go-round.
- What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.
- What noise do witches’ cereals make? Snap, cackle, and pop.
- How do you make a witch scratch? By taking away the ‘w’.
- Have you heard about the good weather witch? She’s only anticipating sunny spells.
- Why are witches good at farming? Because they love occult-ivation.
- Why is it good to drink witch’s brew? It’s very newt-tricious!
- Why do witches not wear a regular hat? Because there’s no point in it.
- What did the tired witch do? She sat down for a spell.
- What do a witch and a candle have in common? They’re both wicked.
- Why don’t wizards make their witches mad? They’ll give them a cold spell.
- Why was the illiterate witch kicked out of her coven? It was because she couldn’t spell.
- What do you call a spell caster that has a lot of money? A rich witch.
- What do spell casters like to eat for lunch? A sand-witch.
- Why do coven members have a set schedule for casting their spells? It is part of the witch-ual.
- What does a hopeful spell caster do? Gives into witch-ful thinking.
- What advice does a spell caster give you to help with self-growth? ‘Be the change you witch to see’.
- How do witches play loud music? On their broom boxes.
- What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go sweep.
- What do you call a fast broomstick? A vroom-stick.
- What does the little witch use to bake her birthday cake? The easy bake coven.
- How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick? Voodoo like to ride with me.
- Why was the broom late? It over swept.
- What did one broomstick say to the other? Did you hear the new dirt?
- Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night? That’s the time to sweep.
- What do you call a witch’s spotless garage? A broom closet.
- Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? The witches sweep the sky.
- How do you find out if a witch is carrying a bomb? You hear her brooms tick.
- What do you call a witch who keeps crashing her brooms? A reckless hag.
- Why did the witch’s team lose the cricket game? Their bats flew away.
- Why did the witch put her broomstick inside the washing machine? She wanted a clean sweep.
- Witches love learning how to spell.
- Witches fly on broomsticks to make a clean getaway.
- Spell yeah.
- Bake it in the coven.
- It’ll leave you bewitched
- What’s up, witches?
- Witch-ful thinking.
- Be careful what you witch for
- I witch you were here.
- I’m eating a sand-witch for lunch.
- Be sure to spell-check.
- Have an hex-tra special day.
- We’re broom-mate
- Resting witch face.
- Angry witches fly off the handle.
- Witch-ipedia has all of the answers.
- I had to witch-hike because my car broke down.
- You en-witch my life.
- People are scared of witches because of their resting witch face.
- Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
- Witches don’t fart. They cast smells.
- Cats prefer wizards to witches because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them.
- Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
- Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
- The witch lost her way because her hat was pointed in the wrong direction.
- A witch laughing her head off will go ‘cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’.
- Witches buy pencil sharpeners to keep their hats pointed.
- Witches love to travel because they’re filled with wand-erlusts.
- Witches always come first at spelling bee contests.
- Witches can smell brew from far away because they have a very keen sense of spell.
- Witch, please.
- I’ll be witch-you in a minute.
- Show me an hex-ample.
- Witch is witch?
- She’s a late broomer.
- You’re a basic witch.
- Witching you a Happy Halloween.
- I’m writing it in curse-ive.
- Spell the beans.
- What an inspiring rags to witches story.
- I like the o-witch-inal version.
- Life’s a witch.
- I’m witch you need.
- Witch way should I go?
- I’m a wicked witch.
- I know how to drive a stick.
- Keep calm and carry a wand.
- Son of a witch.
- Witch one is your ghoul-friend?
- Policeman: What’s your name? Me: The Wizard of Oz. Policeman: What’s your full name? Me (quietly): The Wizard of Ounces.
- Eye of Newt, of witch potion lore, is.. nothing more than mustard seed emulsified with oil. So mustard could actually be called newt butter. Or, for those who have their doubts… I Can’t Believe It’s Newt Butter.
- Have you heard the one about the illiterate witch? She can’t spell.
- I have a friend who is obsessed with the Scarlett Witch, Captain Marvel, and Black Widow. I guess you can say he’s a hero-ine addict.
Do you have more awesome witch puns? Share them in the comments so we can laugh too!
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Michele Tripple is a renowned author and expert in the fields of parenting, relationships, and personal development. With her degree in marriage and family studies, her experience as a Family Life Educator, and over a decade of experience as a professional writer, Michele has authored books that provide practical advice and insights into improving family dynamics and personal growth. Her work is celebrated for its blend of research-driven information and relatable, real-world applications. Michele has been a keynote speaker at conferences and has contributed to numerous publications and media outlets, solidifying her reputation as an authoritative voice in her field and helping families build relationships.