It’s funny how the point of getting married is building a family together and having kids, but yet it can be so hard to nurture the main relationship with your spouse after kids are involved. It’s what we want and how we picture our lives, it can just be difficult to make your marriage a priority with so many to-dos in our busy lives. Here are some ways to make your marriage a priority even when you have kids.
Teach Your Children that You Value Your Marriage
Kids are little sponges that soak up so much information from everyone and everything around them. If you take the time to not only tell your kids about how important you feel your marriage and spouse is to you, but also show them, it will help them understand and respect your relationship. Have date nights with your spouse. Show affection to one another. Hold hands, hug, and maybe even squeeze some kisses in. It also sets a great example as to how they should love and treat their future spouse.
Make Bedtime Happen
I’m mostly talking about bedtimes for your children. Make their bedtime early enough so that you and your spouse can spend time together, just the two of you, in the evenings. I also like to have somewhat of a bedtime routine for my husband and I as well. Regroup. Recuperate. Check in with each other. It’s important to be on the same page and to reconnect at the end of the day. We like to do an activity together like watching a movie or just have a chat over some dessert without interruptions and then get ready for bed at the same time. Going to bed at the same time is also a great time for cuddling.
Send a text or give a quick call throughout the day. Check-In with one another. Just be sure to set some time aside to actually talk or connect with one another. One of my favorite things to do is write an email to my husband letting him know how much I appreciate and love him. This works for me because I don’t have to premeditate it and I know that he will get it. That way I’m not just waiting around hoping he will find a piece of paper I may have put next to the bed or something.
It’s also important to be on the same page with what is happening throughout the week with each other and the kids with activities and meetings. Marriage is all about teamwork and communicating the needs of everyone is really the key to help with having a functional marriage and family.
Make Your Spouse Feel Good
Be thoughtful. Write them notes, let them know you are thinking about them. Try and figure out what your spouse likes and enjoys. Do they like to go on daily walks or cook a meal together? What makes your spouse feel loved? Figure this out and be willing to do things that are important to them. Try to take an interest in activities or hobbies your spouse likes to do. Simply find something you can do together.
Be thankful for your spouse and try to look for the positive things your spouse does. Everyone has things they do that drive other people nuts. If this happens, assume the best and that their intentions were good.
Say No To Some Things
Be okay with saying “no” to events and different things that can take time away time from your spouse. It can range from watching a television show that only you are interested in to not going to hang out with friends that you have seen several times in the last few weeks.
It’s okay to let some things go. Talking with your spouse and deciding what activities you can spend less time on or maybe even put some things off for later to get some extra time with one another in.
It’s time to make your marriage a priority! What are you going to start doing today with your spouse?
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