This pregnancy so far has been the biggest struggle for me physically and mentally. It has tested me and has been a difficult pregnancy.
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We knew when we decided to have Talia that we would always have one more. We weren’t really sure when, but we knew we would want her to have a playmate when everyone went off to college in 9 years…. This summer Talie turned one and we decided it was the perfect time to start trying to have a baby. Little did I know that a difficult pregnancy would be on the horizon.
A few months went by without much success… I guess I should say that I am not a very patient person when it comes to things like this, I mean can’t it just happen???
During these months I had kind of came to the place of contentment, I was happy with my family, loving having Talie as a toddler, I was in my last semester of college after many years of not going, and I was ready to apply some of my time to working helping others with their marriages and families.
Everything changed November 12th
We woke up early that day to go down to our son’s flag football playoff game at SMU. I woke up, I felt nauseous and my pants were suddenly a little snugger than I remembered from the last time I put them on. I went to brush my teeth before we left and I started barfing.
It clicked, could I be pregnant?
Did I even want to be pregnant?
I was finally content with what I had. I wanted to take a test but didn’t have one, so we went about our busy day. On the way home I really wanted ham and pineapple pizza so I stopped by the store grabbed one and 2 pregnancy tests, because one is never enough.
I rushed into the bathroom as soon as I got home full knowing that it was going to be negative because it was late in the day and you have to test early, and I was not going to be pregnant.
I peed on that little stick and sat there for a split second… There was a plus, the tears started flowing.
I was sad, everything that I had planned for the past few months was changing, I was starting over AGAIN.
I know I should have been happy. This is what I wanted deep down; this is what thousands of people want that can’t have. I sat there for a long time just thinking. Telling Ty had to wait because I was holding back tears and couldn’t really explain to anyone why.
I set it in the top drawer in the bathroom and came up with some excuse for him to go in there. He was elated. I knew he would be. I should have been like him, but I just couldn’t.
Over the next few weeks I was moderately sick and still in denial, but then I got to the point where I was accepting and happy with the fact that we were having a new baby, that we were being blessed with a beautiful new child.
During this time I was asked to speak at graduation! I was so excited! I bought my plane ticket. My mom planned on going as well, and we were going to go and enjoy a few days together!
Surviving a Difficult Pregnancy
But then it hit.
The worst sickness and pains I have ever felt.
I was in bed. I couldn’t function. And I thought that I might be losing our baby on more than one occasion. I was a complete wreck.
At times I thought the pain would be less if someone could just cut this thing out of me… (not that I would ever let anyone do that to me).
Thankfully, we are religious and believe in blessings. I was able to receive one and it promised that I would be given eternal blessings from this. It brought great amounts of comfort to me, but then worry that I would not receive earthly blessings because I would lose our child and only get to see them after we die. Thank goodness for the plan of salvation, right?
For weeks I was in bed sick, too sick to get up and function.
I missed Thanksgiving because I couldn’t eat, or even sit up. I had an amazing friend that was able to take care of me and Talie during the day. This was so wonderful! It really helped so that Talie didn’t become a TV-addicted 17-month-old. And my rock star husband worked all day and took care of everything at night when he came home.
Days went by and I was still sick, but somehow by some miracle, I was able to finish my last semester of college. I did have to turn down the invitation to speak at graduation, which was disappointing. I just knew I would never survive the trip
. This crushed me because it was something that I really was looking forward to and felt was a great honor.
The weeks of December slowly came and went. Over the course of the month, I finally was able to get out of bed and function more with each passing day. Christmas came and went and we were able to share the joy with the kids of the news that they were going to be getting a new sibling.
Ty and I went to the Doctor and saw our sweet baby full of motion and movement on the ultrasound. We heard the quick heartbeat at 179 beats per minute and had the opportunity to analyze if there was a little girl or boy that would be joining our family. We are so blessed with this addition and look forward to the days when we get to hold them in our arms!
14 Weeks Down
This pregnancy so far (14 weeks) has been the biggest struggle for me physically and mentally. But I would not change it!
I have had weeks of being in bed and feeling nauseous most of the day. I also have to take anti-nausea medicine every night to survive the next day and then I also found out that I am Vitamin D
deficient. That means I get to take even more pills each day to keep our baby healthy.
It is all worth it and I would not change a thing. What a blessing it is to know that someone else is joining our family!
So the question in our family is: Will it be a boy or a girl?
Want to continue reading about our difficult pregnancy journey? Click Here
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Michele is a Family Life Educator. She is a mom to 5 kids and loves helping others strengthen their families! When she is not blogging she is spending time with her family and running around drinking Diet Coke trying to get everything done!